How to resolve this?
Looking for advice on how best to resolve this please? I have 3 skids and 2 daughters with 1 ours baby boy. Eldest skid has always been a challenge with accepting 3 years ago but this has now turned to hostility and anger towards both me and my daughter (7) who is with me full time. Her baby brother she has little to no interest in at all.
so when our relationship first start BM was so angry she went on angry outbursts about me and posted online etc and had all her friends and family harassing and stalking me. She referred to me as n*gga, p*ki etc and other derogatory names and the children would come and repeat "my mum said my dad doesn't even like brown people etc" (obviously OH is white and I am mixed race with mixed race children".
i have never responded angrily and always tried to stay composed for the childrens sake and tried my best to carry on as normal. So BM took it up a notch and befriended my abusive ex husband of 10 years and his girlfriend and started to form an "alliegance" and planned to take out my daughters with hers away from us. This obviously sent me into a spiral given the previous hate crime towards us. I tried to ask her not to do it anymore and this led to her summons to court to try to torture her ex husband some more. It was threw out of court as the evidence all points toward how abusive she actually is towards us.
In a moment of emotional and frustration for not standing up for myself and allowing her to get through to my youngest daughter, I posted a silly 15 second video dancing online quoting all the horrible racist things she has said to me. I think more to show people how much I really have had to tolerate and been nothing but loving and kids and supportive to the children.
So now teen skid texting dad to say she’ll only come if he stays away from me/stays in her nana house etc etc he would usually agree but this time stayed consistent saying that’s fine we’ll get together soon and talk and all resolve every thing etc she has blocked and unblocked him a few times… and gave him a few alternatives “if you drop me off here I will come and stay” to which he said I am happy to drop you off but you’re not staying over until all resolved. So come to today and he calls me and says he’s with her in work (he owns business so can do that) and he’s dropping her to friends the afternoon. I’m a bid confused on the situation and feel like we’re now on different pages again. Also feel vulnerable for the upcoming weekend as she will no doubt start to give him his conditions and I personally think it’s better for the whole family if it’s resolved with me before she comes to stay over again and I will look like the monster step mum banning her over while daddy plays nice in work time alone.
Hi can I resolve anything moving forward but try to stay disengaged?