I love my skids all the time. I like them most of the time...but the same can be said of my kids, lol.
My venting is usually about BM or DH, kids don't usually get to me but I can't say never.

I'm confused as to why you would bother getting on a forum for advice for step parents and their issues if your situation is so peachy?? I mean, how'd you even end up here?? Most of us that come on here and just plain fed up and desperate to have someone hear our voices. My situation is not as bad as some on here.
I try not to judge and to take things in the way they are meant, some of these posts are typed out in moments of serious frustration. I think offering positive advice is a great idea.

I will say that I don't think it comes down to who "likes" their stepkids. Bc let's be honest.. none of us really hate anyone. We may hate what they do or the way they behave but most of us can admit that we don't really really hate them like we vent.

And also, it's ok not to like someone. I'm not sure where this idea that life is a fucking tball game. You don't have to like your stepkids or their mom or whoever. You don't even have to like anyone else in your life. I think a lot of ppl on here deal with extreme situations that are beyond what you can comprehend during your current situation. But please don't act like your better than everyone else bc you are in a situation where you like your stepkid and bm. That's just not really fair.

"enjoying"?

I do not, in anyway, dislike my stepkids.

I do dislike the person my husband becomes when he has his kids.
I do dislike that anyone expects ME to cover any extra things (financially) that the skids want. (I have my own kids).
I do dislike being expected to "love" kids that I met at 10 years old "the same" as the kids I carried in my belly.

But I do NOT dislike my stepkids.

One out of the four adult stepdaughters I generally get along with. As a matter of fact she was thinking of leaving her husband, and I even personally told her she could come stay with us for a while till she gets on her feet.

Of course this stepdaughter is not like the other three. She actually (GASP) busts her ass and was working two jobs at one point, and she hardly EVER asks us to watch her kid. There's a second one that I'm starting to have a better relationship with. I generally find that the more independent my stepdaughters become, the better our relationship is.

I think your question, "Does anyone actually like their step-kids" illuminates a key issue here that many of us struggle with.

There is a very gray area with skids that doesn't exist with bio-kids from an intact family: The Skids typically go from one household to another and often these households have very different or even clashing values and expectations. Also, often times the bio-parent we are married to parents their child from a place of guilt. The Bio-parent we married also usually expects us to feel unconditional love towards their child, which is an unrealistic expectation. So the skids get many mixed signals and don't know who to look towards and they usually end up siding with/defending/acting like the parent with the least expectations.

I don't dislike my SD13, I get very frustrated with her behavior at times and part of it is being a teen, the other part is being a skid.

This place gives me a safe place to vent to people that understand. My friends that aren't step-moms (which is the overwhelming majority of them) simply don't understand, they can't possibly understand and I don't blame them for that. But it can be very lonely.

Overall, I do like SS15. He has some really good qualities. He's generally very polite and helpful and he's kind to others. However, his airheadedness and laziness drive me to drink. Seriously, the wine flows freely during his visitation weeks. So while I can't say I "enjoy" him, it's more than mere tolerance.

I think the main difference is that DH actually parents him. That's what so many of us on here are lacking, and it makes all the difference in the world.

Nope! haha

Used to a long time ago. Not anymore. I would not want her even as my son's friend, so it is not a step issue. She was raised very differently than I was and that I raise my son. If we were both the same age, we would have NOTHING in common. The BM is the same.

There are plenty here that like/love them but the common theme there is a DH who sets boundaries, parents and respects the SM. It seems like a lot of the SMs who don't like the skids don't like them because they lack respect, manners and are usually entitled with plenty of encouragement on their DH's part.

hi, I'm new here, been lurking for ages...

yes I do like my stepkids (SS8, SS10 and SS12) they are good kids and in the 3 years I've been living with them I've been impressed with how far they've come and how flexible they've been with adapting to "my way" of doing things. My DH (common-law) is a great father and I don't have many of the problems that I read about with disney dads, etc. we have 50/50 custody, 2 days a week + EOWE, and he does the lion's share of the work that comes with having three kids.

But I am NOT enjoying the experience! I cannot stand their mother for a series of good reasons, and I'm not really a kid person so while the kids are fine and I like them, I'm pretty sure things would be rosier all around if they never existed. then his ex-wife would be completely out of contact, and we'd have more money, and DH and I would have less conflict because let's face it, it's hard to combine two different views on child raising, even when you have similar views, the differences are tough to negotiate, and even tougher when you haven't had as much time to develop a consolidated viewpoint, and there is the weird step-parent relationship that needs to be defined, and redefined, and defined again...

anyway, I'm off topic. Yes I like my stepkids and I'm generally proud to be associated with them.

We don't hear about them here normally because this site is for ranting and raving.

I'm sure there are tons of them.

Skid isn't horrible, but I don't like or love her. However, I don't hate her either. I'm pretty indifferent at this point in the game and we don't have a relationship.

That being said, I want to see her happy, educated and not end up like her mother.

I feel nothing for my future skids. I will NEVER love them. Sorry but it's harsh reality. My future DH says he loves my daughter like his own (cough...bull crap...cough) but I however will never feel that way about his kids and that's that.

I like SS30, but hardly ever think about him. No need for it.

I like my stepkids. They're 17 and 19. But my husband parents them.

I think more people need to get off the high they're on of blaming minor kids and take a look at their parents. More often than not these parents let their kids rule the roost and don't teach manners. Once I started holding dh accountable for his kids he started parenting them and they started acting better. So many people here seem all too eager to blame their skids while overlooking their parents.

I do not love my SD8, I have tried to love her and bond with her but she is cold and distant not matter how much I try. I tried to like her, but you can't like someone who just really isn't a likeable person and is pretty bratty. So if she decided to never come back to my house it would cause me no problems at all.

Not sure how "uplifting" I can be just at the moment. I love SD17, but I'm in the process of watching her choose to be less than she could be, with her mother's help, and it's killing me. (I won't say she's "ruining her life", that's a bit dramatic, but she's certainly putting herself on a path to end up a miserable, exhausted, broke, uneducated single mother who goes from man to man because she needs someone to support her. She's becoming her mom, in other words. Yeah, I'm a bit bitter today.)

My older 2 SDs I tolerate. They're not a complete waste of skin, but I don't exactly ask them over for coffee and a chat either.

My BF's daughter (almost 12) is a pretty cool kid. She acts her age, is nice and says hello to me, has manners, etc. I have no problem with her at all.

It's the boy (10) that I can't stand. He's immature, rude, and acts and is treated like he's 5 because thats what BF does to him. I know he's a kid, but I just don't have any patience for the way he acts. Can't even stand to look at him because he's one of those super thin, lanky but short boys (he even looks to be only about 5-6 years old because of his size) that walks around with no shirt on and still talks like he's 5 so I just try to avoid him at all costs when I'm there. Maybe when he grows up a bit if he hits puberty and starts acting his age with no real problems, but now...I can't stand him.

NOPE

I try but it's very hard sometimes. Your situation is idyllic. Enjoy it!

I have enjoyed being my Skid's dad (SS-21). His mom and I met when he was 15mos old and married a week before he turned 2yo. Other than the usual issues of raising any kid we had very little issues with him. His Sperm Clan on the other hand .... they are evil and my goal in life was to destroy them.

I pretty much succeeded at least to the point that they pretty much crawled back under their slime covered rock and stayed there for the most part for the majority of our 16+ year journey under the CO.

My son is a young man of character and his mom and I are very proud of him. The journey of raising him to a viable self supporting adulthood of character was not without a few bumps in the road but nothing that was insurmountable and usually initiated by the Sperm Idiot and the Sperm Clan.

It is possible to successfully protect a Skid from the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool and to build a close family with someone with children from a previous relationship.

I love my skids.....its their mother that creates any and all issues I may have towards them....ive come to find out its not the kids fault but their mothers for putting them in the sistuation...kids play parts in different homes and our children are smarter than we know and eo to please us....say what we want to hear as well as they do when they are in their mothers presence. ..Us as adults need to see pass that and allow the kids to be themselves and happy...

My skids are great kids all the way around from respect school & sports...common kid discipline from being lazy unappreciated or dirty but that all...and I have to give it to them for being so great...

Great question....give us some thinking to appreciate the good n not the negative...I use this forum to vent....but it calms me down and I read responses and I appreciate the reality...take some advice as situations are hard to deal with as a stepparent..