AT MY WHITS FREAKING END!!
I have seriously reached some kind of breaking point. Today is SD's 8th birthday, I lost it and screamed at her this morning. I never raise my voice at the kid but dammit I snapped. Yesterday, DH and I spent $500 bucks renting a van, taking her and 8 of her friends to a paint studio to do a group paint session and ordered pizza. SD is perfectly pleasant while everything is about her and everyone is doting over her. Two seconds after her last friend was picked up, she was "bored". ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? The snot nosed little brat had an entire table full of brand new gifts and she was bored. She is sooooooo ridiculous. Do you think we even heard a "thank you" for everything? Of course not. THEN, we proceeded with our nightly ritual of her getting out of bed every two minutes because she "cant fall asleep". LIKE HELLO YOUVE BEEN IN BED TWO FREAKING MINUTES OF COURSE YOURE NOT ASLEEP!! DH totally plays into it and tucks her back into bed ten thousand times like we have a two year old that is finally trying out a toddler bed. Eventually when she realizes "I can't sleep" isn't working, she bumps it up to "I feel like I'm dying, I think someone is going to come in the house" yada yada yada, until eventually my DH is in her room for 15 minutes each time he takes her back to bed and ultimately she is getting what she wanted because it's now 10:45 and she's still up. The drama never ends. THEN, this morning I called her downstairs because it was time for me to take her to school. Normally she takes the bus but I was bringing in the birthday cupcakes that I made for her class. She comes down bawling so I ask what the problem is. She proceeds to stand there and ignore me, so again in a more stern voice I ask WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?? Apparently, her "Birthday Shirt" didn't feel right. Seriously? EIGHT YEARS OLD!!! The shirt definitely was not too small, she wore it yesterday and I washed it last night so that she could wear it to school today. It was perfectly fine yesterday. So, like a two year old brat she proceeds to bawl about it instead of just changing her damn shirt. I yelled. I never yell. I told her she is EIGHT years old and TWO year olds cry over their shirts, and she needed to pull her shit together because I'm getting so sick of it. And I am, I'm getting sick and tired of DH's excuses that he creates for her and I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired! The problem here is not only SD, but DH and his constant ass kissing. BM and I both totally agree on this point. You know it's bad when BM and I agree on something DH is doing wrong....yes it's bad. As a result I'm living with an unstable and ungrateful eight year old, I'm losing it here.
I would normally agree with
I would normally agree with you if I didn't know for certain that she was only doing this because she does not want to go to bed. She thinks that she should be able to stay up and watch TV with DH and I. Also the "I feel like I'm dying" only started after a kid on her bus had a serious anxiety attack and we talked to her about what was going on and how people with anxiety issues can feel like that even though they aren't really dying. She suddenly after that discussion began to repeat the same types of things that we had talked about. I'm convinced it's completely attention seeking behavior because she has to constantly be the center of attention and she does not like that DH and I are up watching tv without her.
Also according to BM she has
Also according to BM she has not ever had any of these issues while she is at her house (50% of the time). But, she gets the reaction she is looking for out of DH so it is a nightly ritual at our place.
You nailed the problem on the
You nailed the problem on the head. My in-laws have a lot of money and my DH was an only child. He never wanted for ANYTHING. DH and I do not have as much money as his parents do but he never denies SD of ANYTHING! One way or another she gets absolutely everything that she wants. I cannot think of anything actually that she has ever been denied. My in-laws buy her outrageous amounts of gifts and take her on extravagant trips that she wants to go on. She is the only grand child. She cannot bear not being the center of attention for two seconds.
Recently, BM told us that she is getting a divorce from her now husband. Her parents are not well off like my in-laws are and she is trying to come up with enough money to afford a place for her, her two year old and SD to live. Her now husband makes a lot of money and she also denies SD nothing. Well, obviously that now has to change because BM has to support herself. She is going through all of their belongings and selling things that they do not want/need. She decided that she was going to sell my SD's ipod because she has a kindle, an ipod and an ipad currently (all bought by BM). My DH got so pissed about BM trying to sell something that "Is SD's property" hat he sent her an email saying if she gets rid of it that we are going to go out and buy her a new one. I got so pissed about this. So basically what he is teaching SD is that everyone has to make sacrifices at BM's house for them to afford a place to live except for her. Besides, the kid also has a kindle and an ipad....cut me a freaking break!
I probably would have
I probably would have accidently threw those cupcakes on the ground and accidently stomped them to smithereens then made her take the bus.... }:)
This story reminds me of
This story reminds me of several issues I encountered over the years with SD. I'll just touch on one here: they Toy Arms Race. When SD was young, and I was still engaged, DW and I foolishly tried to spoil her with fancy gifts. We thought that we could "outgift" the bio-daddy, who SD worshipped, and was a complete a-hole to us.
One year, the hot toy was a "My-Size Barbie." It was about 3 feet tall, and came with a dress that a 5-7 year-old girl could wear. SD really wanted one, and DW and I spent hours scouring the area to find one. We eventually did locate one, and SD got to play with it for about 10 minutes on Christmas day (no thank you, of course). After that, she went her "perfect" bio-daddy's for his half of Christmas visitation. When she eventually returned, she never played with the Barbie again. She eventually put a "prison" tatoo on the back of Barbie's neck, and got so scared that she couldn't sleep in the same room with it. We ended up donating Barbie to a children's shelter.
Even now, I kick myself when I think about how much time, money, and energy we wasted on that Barbie. And it didn't matter a damn to SD, as nothing we could ever do would hold a candle to her uninvolved bio-daddy. I learned my lesson though, as that was the last present I ever bought for SD. My advice for you: don't get involved in the Toys Arms Race. The only winner will be the all-powerful toy cartels.
This is my first time
This is my first time actually commenting on post on this site. But I couldn't resist this one! Haha.
This seriously sounds like my ex's kids. Particularly my ex-sd8! I remember the final snapping point for me was when we went on a vacation.... She whined, cried and complained THEEE entire time! The first day we were on vacation we decided to do something nice for the kids and take time to the aquarium, we figured this would be something the girls would love. Shit. Hit. The. Fan. At the aquarium sd9 decided to pout and sulk the entire time... Over what? She wanted to swim in the hotel pool. Naturally nothing was EVER good enough. She dragged behind us, stomping her feet, arms crossed, looking down at the ground. Being embarrassing as usual. We stayed there for about an hour, until things got too much. On the way out to the car she started screaming and crying saying she wanted to go home and hated it. We got in the car and it continued, I was in the passenger seat and she was behind me screaming and yelling, disney dad didn't know what to do and the situation escalated. Her ear piercing screeching was the breaking point, I flipped out. I turned around in my seat "YOU ARE BEING SO DISRESPECTFUL! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! WE CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE! YOU NEED TO APOLOGISE TO US AND YOUR SISTER FOR RUINING THE AQUARIUM!" *silence* "ok..." and that was the end of it. I rarely ever raised my voice at them but this was it. I couldn't stand her SPOILED brat attitude! Everythingggggg was a problem! And she's the same as your step daughter! Couldn't sleep in her own bed, my ex having to tuck her in 100000 times a night. Constantly coming up stairs "I caaaaan't sleeeeeep" in her whiny voice. Each night I was woken up at LEAST 5 times. Then the repeating things "I think I'm having an anxiety attack" "she would literally say that. What 8 year old child says those kinds of things? Also her constant need of attention, including purposely getting "hurt" and then whining about it for DAYS! My ex wouldn't do anything about it and we went our separate ways. I still look back at that relationship as one of the most irritating experiences of my life. Haha.
LOLOLOL Are we the same
LOLOLOL Are we the same person? I left and now 10 months later am getting BEGGED back.
I just said "you've got to be kidding..LMAO"
I'm sorry I had to laugh when
I'm sorry I had to laugh when I read this. I am in your EXACT shoes, except SD is 10 and SS is 6 but easy as pie, as long as you distract him with toys or cars or such like. I have never been so embarrassed as last night when we all went to OH's Dad's for Tea. Their manners are atrocious even though I've been trying to drill it in to them for the last 2 years, but because its only me and their nan who remind them and OH and BM don't bother, I'm not making much headway. Not a please, or thank you, burping at the table and not saying pardon, complaining about the meal made for them where I got so pissed that SS wasn't going to eat anything but garlic bread I ended picking out all the onion in the lasagne. If we were at home however I would have left him to it and said if you don't want it there's nothing else, but its difficult in front of company. And SD10 hardly spoke to me all night and when she did, her attitude made me want to slap her, and scream at her to buck her ideas up. OH just sat there though because its fine because her parents have split up. Tough titties, so did mine and I turned out fine, with discipline and boundaries. It made me a better person. Excuses, excuses.
Then when I got home I asked him to have a word with her, because I've tried the week before and it didn't make the blind bit of notice, when he puts her to bed. I go in the bath, get out and ask him if he spoke to her, it is now 9.45pm, no he hasn't. Why not? Because he is scared she wont speak to him and resent him, but its ok for her to do that to me?? Grrr