Let’s be real
My DH has 3 boys (15, 14 & 11). The 15 y/o (almost 16) and 11 y/o (almost 12) are INSUFFERABLE. They never stop blabbing and they are usually complaining. The 14 year old is wonderful (calm, smart, polite). The oldest and youngest are anxiety-ridden like their mother with no social graces. They are overly coddled and don't seem to have many friends. The middle child is well adjusted and seems to have a wide social circle. Been reading about disengaging. I don't want to miss out on spending time with middle SS, but the other 2 can get the hell off my planet. I've been in their lives for 4 years in April. I used to try to do things for all of them, tried to have a relationship, but really...is it worth my time and effort? The oldest just finds ways to insult me (his Mom is a better cook), and the youngest is a HUGE baby at almost 12. Still sits on his Dads lap w/ his head on Dads shoulder like a little kid would??? Ugh. These kids will not be there for me later in life. I'm thinking my new strategy is keep as minimal contact as possible with 2 out of 3. Don't go out of it way for them. But be polite and civil and just take care of me!