Time has really flown by & for the last 9 years and 6 years of marriage to DH I’ve been going back & forward on if I should leave or stay?

Ive posted a couple of times throughout the years on here but I’m not wondering if my husband is using SD against me as a form of punishment? He has kept SD fulltime since she was a toddler. About a year ago after Doug a DNA  test we learned that SD is not his biological daughter. I thought that maybe getting the results of the test would either A help me to like her more because I thought maybe she was my husbands bio child or B send her back to her Mothers but nothing has happened. My husband hasn’t confronted the Mother and we haven’t spoken to her in over a year after our last attempt at a restraining order after she threatened me on social media and posted several lies.

SD is 15 and is the spitting image of her Mother. She talks looks and lies exactly like her crazy Moma. Over the weekend my job threw a going away party for a beloved coworker who is leaving. I had no say so in my husband bringing SD. I’m embarrassed by her but he drags her out to every single function we have. I feel smothered by her. I just had spent 8 hours with her that day because I wanted him to relax at the house by himself and get some rest. No one else from work brought any kids to this event...most didn’t even bring a spouse. SD is every bit of the mini wife and likes to make me think she is sleeping with my husband. How could I have a relationship with someone like that? SD is almost 16 but is very clingy and not independent like a normally bubbly teen girl would be. 

Her cell phone has been taken several times. Several times she has been caught sexting men. Posting explicit pictures of herself dancing like a stripper sticking her tongue in a sexual way. She also posted on Instagram that she was a month pregnant. The last time I confronted my husband about this because he would never monitor her social media she said it was just a joke. She would also text her Mother and her sister who herself doesn’t have a father in her life at all negativity about myself and my husband. Her mother also referred to me as a whore.  My husband never married BM and for the longest time have scratched my head as to why he’d sleep with such a nasty looking crazy woman....but since her daughter is the same way I kind of get it. They stepdaughter and BM are slutty and   hang onto every word my husband says like a groupie.

some people have said I only have a couple more years of tolerating this misery but SD is not the typical teen who wants to get out and lead a productive life. She only wants to be a servant & cling to my husband. 

My husband and I get along perfectly when SD is not around which isn’t often because she lives with us all the time. Her mother is deadbeat and doesn’t pay child support. She only makes negatively influences the girl. She doesn’t go out with friends she is at my house all the time. She even makes jokes like she’ll run the electricity bill up or she’ll live in our backyard. 

Min the past I’ve tried pointing out her behaviors in hopes that my husband would correct them and we could live as a family in a peaceful hone. But he would get defensive and start and arguement but say he wasn’t being defensive. At night he makes us sit at the same table for dinner yet she and I don’t speak. Last night I stayed in our room and it was just the two of them and they talked for a longtime. 

My husband never initiates intimacy with me but says he wants kids. He has built a nursery at our home & bought a baby stroller. But even when I purchased a mosey baby kit when the male goes in the cup & the women inserts it during ovulation he didn’t want to do that. Have the time when I’d initiate intimacy there would be an excuse by him being tired ...sick...cramps in his belly. This sometimes makes me feel less of a woman and I think if I left him he’d be okay with just her (SD) . My late mother in law before she died said she knew I felt like I made a mistake and that my husband was making a monster out of SD and that she felt sorry for me because I wouldn’t have much in life if anything st all but she asked me not to leave my husband.

i thought I was doing everything right by saving myself until marriage for my husband and waiting to have children until marriage. I’m now almost 39 and my clock is ticking. There are so many things that SD and her mother has done to me over the years . My husband has dismissed everything SD has done under the rug from over feeding my dog so that he pooped in the house stabbing holes in my furniture. He says you have to give people second chances. I’m afraid that if she mills me in my sleep he’d probably just chalk it up to her having a bad day. I’m just now starting to realize also how much better off we’d be financially with husbands baggage. He & I both work hard but have a lot of bills right now. If I were to leave I’m not sure what I’d do right now because of finances. Also we’ve always been that couple that was so happy. I just hate that the reality is that I’m miserable and feel like happiness is passing me by. Thank you for reading this. ♥️