Move on. He's made a choice that someone else is more important than you. And it's not even his child. He will always do whatever the mother demands. And who knows what will be.

Has your boyfriend gone to court to try to legally adopt this little girl? If he's not legally her father, the BM is right, he has no rights to see the child, etc. This will get very ugly often, as you've experienced. I agree with Notasm3, this doesn't sound like a situation I'd want to stay in.

I have to agree. These step things can only work if the 2 partners actually try very hard together. Your bf has already downgraded you to a non-adult in your own home. It only gets worse from there.

He is supporting the bm's edict that the child can ignore or disrespect you. There is absolutely nowhere to go from there but from bad to worse.

So lovingly tell you bf that you don't want to stand in the way of his family as he sees it. You are bowing out.

When he objects, just keep reminding him that you are not an adult in his family and you are not a partner in it so it's time for you to go.

And then be out of there whoosh! You will find someone else who is not in thrall to a demented picture of family life. You will love again.

He has no legal rights and has signed up to be yanked around by his ex's whims. I would exit gracefully.

My boyfriend won't go against her mother out of fear of losing his time with the girl.

If he has no legal rights to this girl, the ex has all of the leverage. You can take a backseat for the rest of your life or move on.

Step life is hard enough when the partner has biology and the law, at least somewhat, on his side. Your situation is going to be nothing but guilt, manipulation, and whatever other tactics the BM can use, and your BF does not have a leg to stand on, so he will keep giving in if the girl is important to him. As you are already experiencing. It will not get better.

If you are important to him, he would call the BM's bluff but it doesn't seem like he is willing to chance it. So, it's your move.

I would fold.

Look at it this way: if your BF never took steps to adopt the child, then he was fully aware of the possibility of losing access to his little princess when the relationship ended. He sounds like a lot of guys who get glued emotionally to a small child, usually a girl, and idolize her for the rest of time. Not sure what the medical community call it, but here we call it Disney Dad Syndrome.

I find it quite odd behaviour that he has not already emotionally detached. Likely he is still wishing he were still with Crazy Ex. As for you, it's quite clear she sees you as a convenient babysitter who she will be able to denegrate at will, criticise, manipulate, and generally treat as the hired help. Imagine in the years to come, when entitled princess turns into a demanding adolescent, carbon copy of bat-sh!t BM, visiting your peaceful home ( no doubt at which point you will have bio kids of your own) and being a pain in the a$$.

This sounds so negative, but is reality. When you insist on hooking up with a guy who is enmeshed elsewhere, you will never have him to yourself and your own kids. Suggestion...choose a different partner instead of fighting a losing game.

He has no legal access to this kid and he is allowing his X to play his heart strings. He needs to either shit or get off of the pot so to speak. Engage an attorney in an attempt (very likely an unsuccessful attempt) to get formal visitation access or walk away.

It is not fair to himself or to you for him to remain on the hook for a kid he has no legal rights or responsibilities for.

Good luck.

Call me cynical but I'm not all that impressed that this man is still playing daddy to this kid, even though he's not with her mother anymore. I've seen this type of situation too many times and eventually the novelty wears off for the guy as time passes. The bond weakens as they start to spend less and less time together.

He has no legal right to this little girl. Once her BM moves on and finds another man to replace him as dad to her kid, this guy will be history. Sure he probably feels like she's his daughter if he's been raising her awhile but that doesn't mean he will continue to feel that way as time goes on.

In the meantime there's no reason for you to be mistreated because if BM says jump, he says how high. He's still way too emeshed with his prior relationship. You deserve better than than this.

More to this story for sure.

What do your parents think about this OP? How old are you?

You are not going to like this lady, but it's the truth.... your BF is choosing a stranger girl over you...
I would simply end the relationship.

Your BF has no legal right to this girl... but yet he chooses to