Why do our Bio Partners never understand??
Some of yu have seen my posts and I so appreciate your insight ..... Although there is a mixed history, I love and would do anything for my SS28 (At home paying rent) and SS23 (awesome). I love my kids and I love my wife, My quandry is why do Bio parents feel it is normal for a 28 year old male to want to live at home? I enjoy his company and find him finally interesting and a cool guy. He is still at home and does pay rent. My question/issue is why the heck is it that my wife feels it is perfectly normal that he is not on his own.
Why is it that she cannot understand that I want him on his own. Not to be selfish, etc. To the contrary to be proud and have him visit often. I have an excellent marriage but fear my SS28 will result in its failure
I hear that you love your
I hear that you love your wife, but frankly, her attitude is selfish. It's your home too, and it's perfectly reasonable for you to want a 28-year-old adult offspring not living there anymore - it's long past time for him to launch.
But she wants him there and she doesn't really care whether you do or not.
I absolutely do not think
I absolutely do not think this is normal. If he is working and paying rent, then why can he not find a roommate situation? I cannot imagine wanting to live with my parents as an adult. If it is a problem for you, then you need to sit down with your wife and set up a plan for him to launch. I can understand helping a fresh graduate for a year or a few months, but this man is almost 30. There is no way I would agree to live with any adult child (bio or step) for that long.
I have heard that the younger
I have heard that the younger generations are slow to launch and like the comfort of living at home. Even if they have a job. Some cultures are like this also. When I was in the 1st grade, I remember counting down the years until I could get out of my dysfunctional house, so I don't get it.
I believe our job as parents is to teach our children then nudge them out of the nest. If they don't want to be nudged, then PUSH. When my son showed signs of being a basement dweller, I made his life super hard for him so he would WANT to leave. It was painful, but I felt that was my job. He did, got a masters degree and is now doing amazing at his job. He has thanked me profusely for this.
You need to discuss with your wife her plans for her son launching. Does she think he is going to be 40 still living at home? If so, why would she want to do that to her son? Don't position it as an inconvenience to you as much as wanting her son to be his best.
The rose colored genetic
The rose colored genetic glasses. They make breeders decidedly blind to the flaws in their children.