Update - I am officially done - all bridges burnt by Stepadults in a desert landscape!
When we last spoke in the hours long rant I endured I had mentioned to SD34 that there were some things you could say or do that would forever burn all bridges in a relationship. Instead of making an effort to connect with her Dad, SD instead elected to ignite the fire on that one last bridge - she instead chose to show me that she would prove that she would contact my minor bios whether I approved or not!!!! ALL BRIDGES NOW PERMANENTLY BURNT AND NO REPLACEMENT MATERIALS IN SIGHT!!!!!
After telling SD 34 to work on her relationship with her father and to leave my bios alone as they did not want to talk to them the biotch once again tries to contact my bio children but THIS TIME SHE USED HER OWN CHILDREN! (oh and she never involves her chidren in her ugliness against us------what a joke!!!!) ALL that EVER comes out of SD 34's mouth is a bunch of LIES!!!!
The biotch actually had her chidlren get on the phone in a bait and switch attempt!!!!! SD 34 had youngest stepgrand call and ask to speak to my youngest bio on H's cell - Dumb H handed bio the phone. Ybio told me that when she answered - the stepgrand almost immediately asked my bio if she wanted to talk to her mother!!!!!!!!!!! Youngest bio handed the phone to her dad without answering the question telling H that she DID NOT WANT TO TALK TO SD! I am not sure whether H replied or just hung up the phone but if the stupid Biotch SD 34 did not get the message before she better now - YBio does not wan to talk to her.
Stupid biotch!!!!! All she has ended up accomplishing with this last "smooth move on her part" is to make my youngest bio dislike and not trust the stepgrand!!!!!! GOOD JOB BIOTCH SD 34!!!!! NOw Ybio will never want to talk to stepgrands!!!!!
H and I spoke AGAIN about the situation and he told me HE would tell her not to contact our bios. The next step is RO.
So funny, well not really,
So funny, well not really, but we have something fairly similar. For a couple of years I have not made or returned any contact with adult skids, due to nonsensical drama. Anyway, skids never make any effort to contact our bios and don't remember their birthdays and so on, which is absolutely fine with me. Also, would only contact DH on either his office number or cell phone. But, since this "blow up" between us, SD has phoned our home number a few times and when I once answered, she asked to speak to bios, or if a bio answered, she would speak to that bio then ask to be passed to other bios too. I'm hoping no major reaction from my side will put paid to that continuing. It seems your SD's manipulation knows no end.
Yeah - I thought that no
Yeah - I thought that no reaction would stop them and/or that bio's refusal to respond would give them a hint but SS 35 and SD 34 are relentless in their pursuit aka stalking of my bios. SS even kept IMing Oldest bio "why won't you talk to me", "Talk to me" "whats wrong why won't you talk to me" and on and on and on............... Oldest bio did not respond!!!! Hey SS 35 Oldest bio will not talk to you becuase you are only calling her to use her and she knows it - not to mention that you sent her a sexually offensive text, etc. etc... etc....
Oldest bio actually wanted to text SS 35 to tell him that "her mother and father came first in her life and she hated how he treated us and therefore wanted nothing to do with him". We blocked him from calling her before she could send him this.
You would think both SS and SD would figure out that our bios decision to not talk to them comes from them. H and I are not around when they gets these im's, texts etc. But no they have to continue to harrass children!!!!!
duplicate sorry
duplicate sorry
duplicate
duplicate
One of my bios who has been
One of my bios who has been quite ugly to me also has tried to keep a relationship with her half sister. I have been extrememly protective as for reason. I kno what you mean about burning all bridges. I have gotten to that point myself with some family. After years of grief I ahve finally drew my last boudary line.....enough is enough, not going there anymore. By the sounds of your post I woudl say you have reached that point yourself. It's time to let go and move on. I would however continue to be very protective of the young-ones as these people are probably not trying to have a sincere relationship with that person. At least in my case the ones saying they want contact are the ones who want to try and manipulate and destroy me even more by getting yet anotehr person on her side.
"At least in my case the ones
"At least in my case the ones saying they want contact are the ones who want to try and manipulate and destroy me even more by getting yet another person on her side."
AVR1962- it is highly possible that this is the motivation for BM, SS, and SD's unrelenting pursuit of my bios. SD did admit in our marathon phone call about two weeks ago that she gets off on trying to get at me in some sick vindicative fashion soooo..... this is highly probable. Whatever the reason, I know it is not good!
Thanks for your advice - I do plan to continue protecting my bios as I agree step adults motives are not to have a sincere realtionship with my bios. SD 34 actually accused me of not likeing her because she reminded me of her mother. Interesting comment on her part because SD hates me and my Bios both look like me and have a lot of my personality traits!!!!
Maybe you have already
Maybe you have already answered this in an earlier post, but what does she expect to accomplish by talking to your children? She most certainly doesn't sound like someone I would want speaking to my children either. Way to stand your ground!
Unfortunately, she also sounds like someone who will just work on another way to get to them. How old are your children? Old enough to know to get help if she tries a more direct route?
As i told AVR 1962 above I
As i told AVR 1962 above I really have no idea what the step adults really hope to accomplish. I am not manipulative, evil, and vindicative by nature so it is impossible for me to even try to interpret their or BM's actions.
All I can say is that we can not believe anything that comes out of their mouths. They are constanlty changing thier stories to suit them and are constantly trying to re-write history. The saddest part is that they actually believe these "stories". Regardless, based upon Step adults actions over the years, I know that it is not beneficial to my family.
"But then these same folks
"But then these same folks tread into your territory as a MOTHER. Watch out! If there is one cardinal rule, it's that our jobs as BM's trump our jobs as SM's, each and every day of the week. The stepchildren are used to pitching fits and the SM just keep taking it. Screw with her kids, and LOOK OUT!! They took it too far. "
Yep. You you've got that right SA - Mess with my kids and I will bare my claws and more.....
Thanks for reminding me about the risk/reward analysis. I typcially use this as a decisionmaking tool but just never applied this to dealings with Sadults! You are absolutley right though - I gain nothing having them around my bios or around me. I have tried to be nice and accomadating for FAR TOO LONG!!!!!!!
You may have to remind me once and awhile though if I start veering off track!!!
Despite my having reached my limit I am under no illusion that this craziness and idiocy will totally go away as long as H continues to listen to it. I wish I lived hours away from them like you do your SDs. Would be sooooo much easier for me to deal with when trying to protect bios. I quess I will just have to continue to be vigilent and/or go with that restraining order. I am also going to look into what our State's stalking law covers to see if this situaltion falls under it.
Thanks for your support SA.