they never really leave
adult sd is not almost 30. i told her to leave our house several years ago when she told me to my face to go to h*ll. (bm kicked her out of the house after high school.) sd still has keys to the house and enters without ringing the door bell. i can see her needing keys in case she needs to borrow something or have access, but i dislike her knowing we are home and not ringing to enter the house. she even comes earlier than she says without calling. i have a mind to let her walk in the house after i shower and catching me in half my birthday suit!
she must think she still lives here.
one time she needed some sundries. instead of asking if she could use some of ours, she goes to the medicine and toiletries storage cabinet where we keep new items and helps herself to a new unopened box. we had some of it already opened and in the bathroom.
hello? did you bother to ask?
very presuming of her.
^^^^ditto^^^^
^^^^ditto^^^^
As soon as skid was kicked
As soon as skid was kicked out, I changed the locks. DH wanted to give skid a key and I said "No, I don't have a key for skid's house, why should he have one for mine?" I did however install a keyless deadbolt on the front door, if DH needs to give access then he gives him a code and then I change the after that. a couple times skid came over and enters the last code he was given and it does unlock, so now when he drops by he rings the bell.
I also have video security system and sensors on both of my garages so I know when someone was in here when we are not home.
The other side to that is my 20yo does not have a key, but I program his own code for him when he is home from school staying with us.
Wait, this is the SD who you
Wait, this is the SD who you keep waiting to gain some manners and social niceties, right?
Yeah, don't hold your breath. She does what she does because no one ever calls her on it. The key to the home is not totally unheard of, many adult children have a key (emergencies, water plants/feed rover while parent on get away , that type of thing). I have keys to my mother's house. However your SD is abusing the privilege and trust. If your husband's excuse for his daughter still holding keys to the home is rare events such as I mentioned, then info him if and when necessary she can hold them, until then, nope. She takes unnecessary advantage of having them and that's not ok.
Walks in and helps herself? Did it ever occur to you to say 'no, SD, I just bought those and you can't just take them', or cut to the chase 'excuse me, get the h*ll out of my cabinet' .
She does it because no one challenges her behavior. Tell husband the keys come back, the door bell gets used and nothing leaves the house without permission when asked. Mean it.
She doesn't like you. You don't like her...yet you still keep expecting a switch to go on in her head about manners and boundaries. Speak up, lady. Disengaging does not mean keeping quiet when you are being subjected to crushing boundaries in your home.
SUgar - change the locks and
SUgar - change the locks and she will not get a key..... she can go to the shops like all other people do, no need for you to do her shopping with your money.
if DH has a problem with it, tuff tell him to move in with his daughter.... she will not get a key again. There's no reason why she should have access to your house, for what... to steal your groceries, bull dust woman...
put your foot down, change the locks and ignore her tantrum... and DH's tantrum....
I know how you feel, though
I know how you feel, though I'm not married yet, but my fiancé's daughter is 26 and has no intentions of moving out any time soon, she does work, but does nothing at home ever; no cleaning, cooking just sleeps. Her dad totally has no problem with it. I have no patience for lazy kids at all, I work 40+ hours per week and still get things done around the house. I'm thinking about moving on, life is way to short
i know i should change the
i know i should change the locks, but i am one who chooses the battles. i know one day this sd will made a sh#t show of her life and i will be able to stand my and watch. we have an ok relationship now and its fine with me. no need to further raise any dust.
just her having the key get on my nerves.
put locks on your cabinets
put locks on your cabinets then
so with this situation, I
so with this situation, I love my fiancé but I don't think I can live here much longer with his daughter here. He gets very angry when I try and talk to him about this, he thinks i'm picking on her and blaming her for my frustrations. I don't think he wants her to move out, he coddles her. She is the laziest person I have ever met plus she drinks a lot.
this is so typical of
this is so typical of divorced men. too wrapped in their daughters and too cowardly to show any ball. they get used and walked all over. stand back and watch the whole thing go down the drain.
Yes it's like he has no
Yes it's like he has no spine. But yea I'm planning on moving in the near future life is to short to continue to argue about this kid. I'm talking to him again this weekend and if nothing changesI'm out
Good for you. Sounds like a
Good for you. Sounds like a really unhealthy dynamic that neither want to change.
yes it is pathetic, and it's
I totally understand that we
I totally understand that we need to be there for our children, but when should they get out and explore things on their own? I couldn't wait to go and explore and learn independence, learning from mistakes I've made. I just really don't get it what happened to having goals and have independence a person shouldn't count on anyone to take care of them forever. It's just so confusing and frustrating