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Stop saying mommy and daddy

tmarie's picture

I don't know but I am irratated when I constantly hear my adult stepchildren referring to their parents only as mommy and daddy. not "my mom", "My mother", BUT "MOMMY this, Daddy that, etc.... When they discuss their other parent in front of me it's "MOMMY..", Recently in a AOL away message a stepdaughter posted, "out to lunch with Daddy". She is 23 years old and this is a work related AIM! Pardon me, but didn't most of stop doing that at nine?
When is it appropriate to stop calling your parents Mommy and Daddy?

sarahbernheart's picture

she probably has her boyfriend call her mommy...
some "kids" just don't want to grow up, I know that would bug me too. My sons stopped calling me mommy when they went to first grade...

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

tmarie's picture

These 2 stepgirls are 23 and 26 and they still dwell on the mommy and daddy thing. Even in front of others including myself. My bio daughter, who is bothered by this, (never says that) referred to this as.... "any girl who is over 18 years old when she says daddy.. it means sugar daddy."

Other posts I found online:
... don’t particularly advocate the holding of hands while walking through the mall with a parent and their 18-year-old child. Nor should anyone with an age ending in “teen” call their parents “Mommy” and “Daddy”; at a certain point, it’s just strange.

.... I call someone "Daddy" but it sure ain't my father.

.... If you still are using the term "mommy" and "daddy" then you ARE too young for a boyfriend.

...address you as "Mommy" or "Daddy" just like s/he did when 8 years old

... I'm just guessing, but I think 10 is probably as late as it needs to go.

.... any girl who is over 18 years old when she says daddy it means sugar daddy

sarahbernheart's picture

she will be one of those girls who dates OLDER men, like you said "sugar daddy...

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

Sita Tara's picture

My mom called my grandpa daddy so it doesn't occur to me that it's inappropriate. I thought it was kind of sweet when she did it actually. It's not like she called him that to me, just when she talked to him now and then or to my aunt when talking about him.

Must be cultural?

Peace, love, and red wine

Sarah101's picture

The minute a boyfriend tells them "Mommy" and "Daddy" are creepy and weird, they'll stop. In the meantime, just shrug it off as stupid immaturity.

Better the widdo little adult pookies say "Mommy" and "Daddy" and channel their energy in that direction than at you.

Best of luck with the sweet darlings! Buy them some lollipops. Grrrrr.....

sparky's picture

When my mom was 72 and her mom was 92 she was still calling her mom mommie. In the big scheme of things it didn't matter to me,but maybe it matters to others.

evilsm's picture

My 12yo SD calls my DH "Dada". I think she uses it as a manipulation tactic for him, wants him to still think she is a sweet innocent little 2yo I guess. It makes my skin crawl when I hear it in that sticky sweet voice of hers. :sick:

~Evil

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
Confucius

hopeful12's picture

My SD14 calls her dad FATHER when she is pissed at him him, daddy when she wants something and "dada" when well all the rest of the time!!! It drives me totally crazy when she talks like a little 2 yearold all the time.... makes me want to slap her silly.... PLEASE! My BD9 doesn't call me mommy anymore and neither does my BS12. Nor do they call my H daddy.... Unless SD is around and they get on that baby talk crap and I tell them to Stop it because it does drive me crazy@!!!
"Why doesn't the BM get it, if they knew how to keep their men happy. I would never be the evil stepmother"

stired_crazy's picture

I say it to my dad " Jokingly" when were all making jokes( about fathers and daughters,sons and all that stuff) but I refer to him as my dad, I could not go around saying " daddy", I would feel retarted or something.. wait.. prolly most would think I was:)

tmarie's picture

I think it gives them a solid link (create linkage) within their family. Meaning "we are not included". My bio daughter and his bio daughter have an apt together financed by us and his daughter still refers to my daughter as "her room mate" never her step-sister. Their parents have been divorced since they were 9 and 12, they are now 23 and 26 and still they can't stop the mommy/daddy thing. They are stuck in Neverland and can't grow up. Even my bio daughter is as sick of it as I am and feels very 'put out'. Once a few weeks ago his daughter got very defensive and stated, "she is not my mother, she is my fathers wife" when someone asked about me. This was in front of my bio-daughter. How can I melt this family when they are so against us! It hurts both me and my daughter.

tmarie's picture

Perhaps saying mommy and daddy in your family is because there is NO step parent around? In that case - who cares! But when you are trying to keep a step family working, HOW can this "wall" continue?

everythinghappens4areason's picture

His kids (boys) are almost 12 & 15 and they will make reference to their mom as mommy. He is constantly telling them to act their age and if they were still holding their mommy's hand when crossing the street it was acceptable, but if they aren't, call her mom. Sounds like baby talk to him! LOL

My kids only say Mommy when they are joking with me wanting me to buy them something...and because we are broke so that doesn't happen very often! LOL

CplStv's picture

otherwise it's "Mom" or a nickname, and My (S)"Dad" was always "Dad" or a nickname, except as a joke like "Daddy can I use the car tonight, I have a date..." when I was 20 and staying with Him temporarily, long story, stranded 2 states away, during what was only supposed to be a week long visit, and We were more Housemates than Parent/Kid, because We Respected Each Other as Adults, and Freinds...

I know "Down Home" it's a normal thing for a Girl and somewhat for Guys, (of any age) to say "Daddy", but it's a term of Affection, used within Family Context, not in the third person, or in Public, much...

If said Girl and Her SO are "Lifestylers" that is a whole 'nother issue...
Steve

Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

ColorMeGone2's picture

Your mother is "Mama" and your father is "Daddy" no matter how old you are. It's not seen as a refusal to grow up, but rather as tradition.

Wicked Step's picture

My adult SD always uses "Daddy" when she wants or needs something. She plays him. It drives me nuts. That is the ONLY time we hear from her also, when she needs or wants something.

UpToHere's picture

I haven't called my Mom "mommy" since I was five years old. I do, however call her "Momma" to this day. When he was alive, I didn't refer to my Dad as "daddy" to anyone ... however, TO him, I occasionally said Daddy. Never like, "Daddy, buy me this ..." but more like, "Hi, Daddy ... how you feeling?" ... that never felt weird to me ... but I never said it like a little girl, either. Maybe the "Momma" "Daddy" thing is a southern thing? My parents aren't divorced ... never crossed my mind that it might irritate my Mom when I called him that ... I'll have to ask her sometime. Smile

Bill's picture

My second wife and I are in our early 70's. We both worked for the same companies for over 30 years, invested in real estate and the market, and are now comfortably retired. But my step kids, all in their 40's now, are still looking to us for financial help. We have a beautiful custom home, and an income that allows us to decorate, travel, entertain our friends in our home, and to live a little of that good life we worked so hard for. But how can we enjoy our vacation knowing my wife's 50 year old daughter cannot afford to pay for necessary dentistry. She is a public school teacher, has a good job, but she does not know how to budget, and then she makes us feel guilty for enjoying what we worked our whole lives for. When are we free of the guilt?

now4teens's picture

Just say "NO".

You said it yourself. Your wife's daughter has a GOOD job and is probably a GRANDMOTHER herself, for goodness sake!

It's only because she's careless with her money, probably plays the perpetual role of "victim" throughout her life, and constantly sees you two as an "easy out" for all her problems.

And if you always say "yes" to her- she'll never learn to fix them herself.

Does she have her own children? Heck, at this point, let THEM start bailing her out if they want. At this stage of your lives, you've EARNED a peaceful retirement from both CHILDREN and GUILT!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

fulltimestepmomto2's picture

OMG My SS is 10 and still calls my H Daddy. lol I think it's pretty irritating. Our bioD is 2 and calls me Mommy and him Daddy but I will stop that before preschool if she doesn't stop on her own. None of my SS friends call their parents mommy or daddy. I love my SS but that def bugs me! lol He also still believes in Santa the Easter Bunny etc so I don't even know what's appropriate. I didn't call my mother that or believe in those things from about 3 on so maybe that's my prob. My H has no prob with it so I don't say anything. THe 20 year olds saying that creeps me out and if my SS continues this into his teens I imagine we will have to have a chat. You will look like a mega b**** in their eyes if you speak up so maybe talk a family friend into asking about it at a dinner or something??

Rags's picture

My Mom and Aunt called my GrandDad "Daddy" their whole lives.

In fact, my client who is in his early 50's calls his Father "Daddy". But, as I indicated, I think it is primarily a Southern thing.

I call my parents Mom and Dad and have since before my teens.

My Dad's Mom would only allow my Dad to call her "Mother" and my Bro and I to call her "GrandMother". No cutesy names at all. She considered anythign but "Mother" to be disrespectful.

Best regards,

Gia's picture

his daddy "daddy" and he is 30... well his dad died 10 years ago, but he refers to him as "daddy" when he talks to his family members, btu with me is only "my dad/father". And I call my mom and dad "mommy and daddy" (in Spanish) because I'm hispanic, and i have never had a problem with people doing this....

StepAside's picture

I have a stepdiva who still refers to DH as "daddy". Funny, because you'd expect that they were really close. She rarely ever calls him, unless her check is late or she needs money. She's in community college.

Last year, she told DH she needed a "loan" for $1100 to fix her car. DH gave her the $$. I found out it was for a plane ticket to go on a beach vacation over Christmas break. DH called her. In the first check she sent to repay the loan (which I'm certain was given to her by a sympathetic family member), she included a note.... "This money is to REPAY a LOAN that is between ME AND MY DADDY!!!". Actually, a loan is an agreement of terms between two parties. When one presents fraudulent terms, it's a LIE, not a LOAN. Not only could she not own up to her lie, she STILL uses DADDY like a 10-yr-old. Gross. Grow up.

I like the summation that someone who calls their father "daddy" after the age of 18 means "sugar daddy". That is EXACTLY the deal with my stepdiva. She doesn't send her "daddy" anything for his birthday, father's day, christmas, nothing. Zero, zip, nada. Can't give him the time of day. Maybe he should call her "Baby".