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Stepson is determined to end 8 year marraige

susan63's picture

I have had enough of this 31 y/o brat ss and his determination to start trouble. He has a good life,married a girl who's parents are wealthy, which impresses both my ss's, good job, state trooper, which impresses everyone, especially dad, he's the golden boy. SS has always professed to want only happiness for his father. He disliked, even hated, every woman dad dated before he married me.I have done nothing to deserve his crap. When he lived with us, (I purchased a mother daughter so he could have privacy), I noticed vomit in the toilets, long story short, ss was bulimic. At the gym everyday, smile for the camera, puke up gallons of ice cream. My husband was concerned, he caught him sticking his finger down his throat. I thought he should get some professional help. As a nurse, I knew what affects this awful disease has on the body. SS doesn't like anyone to see anything but perfection. I was warned about my husbands tendency to view him as crowned prince before we married 8 years ago.BM is diagnosed bipolar, maybe issues stem from that. He is a vicious enemy, I have come to find. I was not invited to baby shower, very humiliating for me. My husband was upset, but I wasn't invited to the christening, and that was awful. My other ss, who has ups & downs with both brother & dad, told me he said I would never be allowed near that baby. That was terrible to hear, I love children, and babysit a lot for step granddaughters, and my daughters son. My step granddaughter is 8, told me she liked me better than her bg, I told her not to say that to anyone. Shortly after, I was babysitting the younger gd, she's 4, innocently says to dad, other ss, Am I in trouble for calling grandma Sue grandma? Cause g ma -- said she's not my real grandma.Very jealous, angry woman, I only met her once at a wedding where she got absolutely stinking drunk, made a fool out of herself. Adult ss furious my husband chose not to attend christening of his first grandson because I wasn't invited. I was frankly surprised he didn't go, but he was very morose and upset all day. SS comes to our home, had been drinking, to confront us. He drove like a nascar driver, revving the engine. My neighbors have an autistic child who wanders sometimes. SS could have killed someone, residential neighborhood. The brat yelled outside, then left in a rage. He's a cop, so he can go 100mph, idiot. I think my husband was going to the christening, but I found out 15 minutes before by chance. The matriarch, my mother in law said h should have gone without me, at least to church. I have always been close with her, now she won't return my calls. I'm sick of this garbage. My ex in laws would never behave this way. My husband had cancer last year, ss visited once in hospital. He calls his father in law sir, a bag of bullshit, phony brat. I feel like I have no control anymore. Other ss moved back in last year, supposed to be 2-3 months. His new girlfriend lives here now. He's never leaving. Pays zero, and dad won't ask if he's saved any money! The horrible thing is I have 3 autoimmune diseases, I was exposed to a toxin at work, it triggered Sjogrens disease, psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis. I can't sue the homeowner or agency, too hard to prove. So, financially I have a bit of my own money, but I invested all into this home, over $100,000. I'm angry, no one came to my defense, not that I know of anyway. This ss gets relatives out of traffic tickets, and he is very charming, ruined our Bahamas honeymoon with awful behavior. I thought once he got married he would change, focus on dad less. Actually, the first year of his marriage he ignored his dad, too busy with new father in law. That really hurt my husband. This is never going to change. My husband is going on a 3 week trip with ss. I don't like the drama, I hate the disrespect.

ybarra357's picture

Curiosity has gotten the better of me - I gotta ask - just how did your SS ruin your honeymoon?

hatesteplife's picture

If her SS is anything like my SD, here's how:
There were calls from day 1 of our honeymoon from SD saying she was in the hospital and the doctors thought she had lukemia. I had listened to this crap for years and knew that SD was a hypochondriac who had a new disease and reason to be in the hospital every month, so I didn't believe it, but DH was beside himself. We had to rush home, just to find out it was nothing at all and SD had been lying. "But the doctor said it COULD have been lukemia!!" (insert drama queen face)>

That is how a skid ruins your honeymoon.

ybarra357's picture

That's on the DH - he allows this nonsense. My point is there has to be a WILLING participant to the BS. This man is too chicken shit to shut this shit down. Thats on HIM!

hatesteplife's picture

I cannot blame a guy for wanting to rush to his kid if his kid is in the hospital. After several years, he has realized that most of her ailments are made up or self induced. Things in my house are better than before (I am not the OP).

susan63's picture

Hi ybarra357, Oldest ss came with us, along with my daughter to Bahamas where we got married and honeymooned. They stood up for us. I knew it was a mistake when he refused to sit at the same table with us for dinner, having a 22 y/o baby fit, just wants dad to be happy,lol. We were driving home from the airport, he called a friend to say the Bahamas sucked because there weren't enough good looking people. I hate myself for not saying a word all those years ago. I can't take this anymore, dh is going away for 3 weeks on a hunting trip with ss and others. Maybe I could kick the other 31 y/o and his gf while he's gone. This "kid" as my h calls him does not contribute a dime. This was supposed to be a couple of months. He lives like a pig, has gotten better since gf, but still, I do not feel comfortable in my own home. My h had an aggressive cancer last year, ss came to the hospital once, no regular calls. Idk why he doesn't just count his blessings! He married money, has a healthy baby, good job. All he wanted, especially money. His dads previous girlfriends were not so great, he despised one especially, told me years ago he became a cop so he could arrest her!I was told, actually warned about this whole family by an acquaintance. It was a rebound, I had just broken off a 2 year relationship with a total knuckle head. I should have waited. Marry in haste, repent at leisure

ldvilen's picture

We can so relate, "The matriarch, my mother in law said h should have gone without me, at least to church. I have always been close with her, now she won't return my calls." Yep! SS won't invite you to an event, so your husband chooses not to go out of respect for you, BUT it is all SM's fault--something SM never invited and never had any control over. Welcome to the wonderful, backward world of being a step-mother!! I really think any SM in a bad situation like this where adult skids are still hanging around the house, needs to make it very clear to their DH's that the kid has to go. That is ridiculous. I know it is easier said than done. But first, get rid of the adult SK hanging out in YOUR home (doesn't matter whose name is on the title; if you're married, it is YOUR home as much as his). These type of SKs should all be with their BMs, the one who probably has been negatively influencing them toward dissing dad and his wife from day 1. That should be BMs "reward," is to have her loving son with her for years and years. Secondly, disengage from any adult SKs living outside your home. You don't have to worry about whether or not you get invited to so-called family events. Don't go if you don't want to, and it is 100% up to your husband to decide if he wants to go or not or see SKs outside of your and your husband's home. Don't make it a contest. Try to make it so most of your focus is on you and your husband, where it should be. And, put the rest of your focus on people you know you can trust, such as your blood and friends.

still learning's picture

I'm sorry to hear about your health issues and all that you're going through. I hope you enjoy your 3 weeks of peace.
DH just got back from a road trip with ss30. DH paid for 3/4 of the expenses and did almost all the driving 12hrs there and back. Anytime they are near each other the old parent/child dynamic kicks in and DH mother hens his kids. ss30 tried several times to move in with us, it almost ended our marriage since I had to put my foot down so hard. I'm still the bad guy but I'm ok with it if it means that he doesn't live with us.

susan63's picture

I didn't "drag" my kids on our honeymoon. My daughter was my maid of honor. SS was there for his dad. I was trying to be nice, we didn't share a room. My daughter had fun, and she was happy for me, at that time. Now, she is so unhappy for me, but she's a grown woman, and doesn't need to hear mom lamenting her mistakes. She has been telling me to move on for some time now.

susan63's picture

I didn't "drag" my kids on our honeymoon. My daughter was my maid of honor. SS was there for his dad. I was trying to be nice, we didn't share a room. My daughter had fun, and she was happy for me, at that time. Now, she is so unhappy for me, but she's a grown woman, and doesn't need to hear mom lamenting her mistakes. She has been telling me to move on for some time now.