So I have been uninvited to step kid's wedding
I did not want to go to the wedding, neither did I want to attend the engagement, however since this particular stepkid had always been kind, polite and accepting of me. As he is the only accepting of the step kids, naturally I want to strengthen the relationship. I made it clear to SO that I really do not mind if I did not go, however SO assured me that SS would like me to do.
3 months down the line, I have been uninvited. BM says that she will not go if I am going. So SS32 is in a difficult position. Weak backboned DH, tells me that he cannot give his son an ultimatum, however he will talk to him.
On another note, SS32 had invited us for Christmas way back in September. Even before this happened, I decided that I really want to spend Christmas with my family. I have spent 3 Christmases with OS family. Also I wanted to feel totally comfortable, although SS32 is nice and receptive to me. When his other siblings are around he is withdrawn and keeps away. But I understand that.
I know my SO was the victim of domestic abuse in his marriage, this family has told me so, it is clear to see that the ex wife abused him mentally. To an extent that she did not allow him to visit his family, she verbally abused him in front of colleagues, family or anyone. For these reason, I have been very patient with him.
We have been together for 8 years. We have an amazing relationship. We have had problems with the Stepkids, I have exercised boundaries that they do not cross. I also made it clear I will not accept rubbish from them. I did earlier on, but those days are over.
I give SO space and time to be a father to his kids, they go out to meals, holidays and outings. As long as I do not need to go, I am fine. However I feel that I need to be protected.
To clarify, I have no problem in not going to the wedding, I am happy being at home with a glass of cold wine and Netflix. However, I believe it is not about the wedding, it is how he allows his people to treat me. That is my stand.
What do you think