Should I postpone the Wedding?
My fiance has agreed to let his 21 daughter move in with us. She is under lease until May with her old best friend in a town about an hour from here but says she can no longer get along with her so she needs to move in with us now. His daughter claims to be bi-polar and is very negative. She is always unhappy and frequently sends mean texts to her dad about how he abandoned her and her brother and how toxic of a person my fiance is. She uses the bi-polar as an excuse to be mean and never apologizes nor does she take medication to get it under control. I have only been around her a handlefull of times in the last year and a half. She has not been rude but not nice either.
She has been angry since her dad stopped giving her money when she asks. After we met I discovered he had a parent plus loan for her in the amount of $80k. He had no idea the loan was his responsibility and he had been giving her money for expenses while she was in college as well as taking on this loan. He now knows he has a hefty bill to take care of and can't keep flowing money her direction. This has caused huge problems between them and is her reason for feeling abandoned by him.
My guy agreed to see a counselor and have his daughter go to counseling too before she can move in. He is so sweet but I feel he can be blind to his daughter's faults. The counselor told him this may turn out to be a good thing to strengthen their bond.
Now here we are set to get married in November. I'm getting cold feet. I think it may be time to postpone the wedding to see how this plays out. I divorced a narcissist after 15 years and I am absolutley panicked at the thought of living with another one. I feel like all of this is out of my control! This girl can't get along with anyone, how likely will it that she will get along with me?
I am reading through this forum and getting more and more panicked, this appears to big a huge issue in a lot of marriages and I fear I already know the answer. My guy is great but this package deal is not looking so hot right now.