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So the SKs skipped the wedding

fedupinwa's picture

We planned a small family wedding over Thanksgiving weekend at the coast.  Basically just my kids, Sks and a handful of family members.  We rented a large house to accomodate everyone for the weekend.  The kids had two months notice of the plan.  SD21 works at a coffee shop and couldn't possibly get the Sat/Sun off after Thanksgiving.  SS17 was all in until two days prior to leaving.  I am positive BM was at him because we have been trying to get her to own up to stealing a bunch of money from DH after the divorce was final.  Nevermind that SS17 was ordered to be with DH for the holiday.  SS17 sends DH a text letting him know he has social anxiety, blah, blah and won't be there.  Typically SS17 sends one word to a max of 2 sentences per text but this text was two full paragraphs that sounded an awful lot like BM pretending to be SS17.  This makes 2x in one month BM has pulled this crap.  Neither SD 21 or SS17 called or texted DH on the big day or Thanksgiving, they couldn't even "like" the facebook post.  SD21 then texts DH on Monday morning that he needs to send the new insurance (that we hadn't received yet) to BM because SS17 really needs to see a counselor.  Ugh!  Stop communicating through the kids, how hard is it?  

For the first time this week DH is so hurt that he refuses to reach out to SKs.  We were in BMs town yesterday and I suggested we see if SS17 wanted to go to dinner.  DH was like nope, not this time.  I think he is really starting to see the light.  He is a great, loving man and does not deserve to be treated like crap by his prior family when cheating ass BM broke the family not him.  


Booboobear's picture

a beach wedding with a rental house!!! oh man, anyone would have loved that! I bet the cake was good!  congratulations and enjoy the honeymoon.  

tog redux's picture

This is why we never told SS about any wedding plans prior to the event, so BM couldn't keep him away.  That would have been hard to do with SD, but you could have not told SS a thing and then just let him know when he got to your house for the weekend.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Congratulations on your nuptuals!! I'm sure your wedding day was beautiful and filled with unforgettable memories.

Your DH is entiled to his feelings and has every right to feel angry and disappointed in his kids.

Christmas is fast approaching. I hope the skids' poor behavior is reflected in the gifts chosen for them. Don't reward them for bad behavior.

sandye21's picture

Congratulations!  Hope your marriage is a good one.  A good thing is that you have found this site when your marriage is fresh.  Several of us didn't find Steptalk for years.  By then, all sorts of bridges had been burned to the point of no hope of any reconciliation with skids and SM. 

Another good thing is that your DH is not deflecting any blame on you.  He seems to see the situation as between BM, the skids and him.  It sounds as if he is willing to handle it on his own.  And this is how I think you should continue to deal with it.  BM games put a damper on skids communications with DH.  Be there for him, and let him know you care about his happiness, but don't take on any of the responsibility for improving his relationship with the skids.

If I had known about Steptalk I would have placed boundaries BEFORE I married DH, and insisted our marriage was first priority.  THAT is the most important thing you can do at this stage.

Kes's picture

Congratulations!  What a miserable pair are SD and SS - I'm not surprised your DH is upset - but at least he now sees their true colours.   We only had my daughters, their partners and the two SDs at our wedding in 2009, and although the SDs duly attended (they were early teens at the time), they didn't show any enthusiasm whatsover.  

fedupinwa's picture

I would rather the SKs skip than be negative and hard to be around.  Even one of my daughters was being difficult but she was there.  It had nothing to do with me getting married but her making the day about her personal problems.  Adult children can be a pain.

CLove's picture

Many best wishes for a lovely marriage. And a beach front rental? That sounds like they totally missed out. Hope you had a ton of incredible memories. And photos.

Too bad that BM is a miserable pos, but thats why you are here. You are not here because you want to share how awesome and perfect your blended little family is.

Too bad that the kiddos are being poisoned. Its really their loss.

We eloped and had a beautiful wedding. I would have loved for everyone to have been tre, but my husbands mother is frail and 97. We did not want to spend a ton of money, and we did not want the BM Toxic Troll or kiddos to spoil anything. However I spilled the beans the night before. Toxic Troll texted DH three times, "I hope you are happy, kiddos are crying and I cant console them this time" and " I hope your happy, hope 3rd time is the charm for you!" (theyd been married at the courthouse and then had a "ceremony") . Just the biggest B possible.

At the time she was angry with me. I was unemployed and we were renters. She was also mad at me and had unleashed on me serverely.

Cut to now, a 1 1/2 later, I have a wonderful job and we just bought the house DH had been renting for several years priior. Because TT was so toxic, he had held off buying anything. NOW Toxic Troll has just been evicted and we arent certain when she will have a new place. Not our problem. We currently have Munchkin SD13 full time.

We have SD20 who is also couch surfing with Toxic Troll "somewhere".

So living well is the best revenge.