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SD Has finally pushed me to the edge.....

Maxesmommy's picture

:sick: Okay, I just can't take it anymore, I can't believe there is a forum for this, thank the Lord~here goes. I have basically raised my dysfuntional SD since she was 12. Her mother was never in her life until recently after SD had a baby. Anyway, I have always felt as though this girl only loved me for what I could do for her and when she didn't like what I had to say or do she could turn that love off quick as a light switch. She is disrespectful, rude, immature and a plain B#@^h. My DH has NEVER tried to talk to her about her treatment of me, he has always said that it was between us and we needed to work it out. WHAT???? Okay, so this is 14 yrs now, she is 26, she came over the other night with her baby, barely spoke to me unless neccessary, her father, my DH decided out of nowhere to tell her he was going to keep her baby in a couple of weeks for the weekend to give her a break. First of all, I have a 3 yr old DS whom I was told i would never have, my DH has NEVER CHANGED HIS PAMPER, NEVER FED HIM, NEVER ROCKED HIM TO SLEEP, NEVER BATHED HIM, you get the picture. What in the world makes him think he will take care of a 9 month baby now??? Just because it's his GS he's special or something, no I will be the one to feed, bathe, change, rock basically take care of that baby, it's not the babies fault I know but I can't find it in my heart to have feelings for him because of her hatred for me. Well, she got really ticked when I laughed and said "you won't take care of her, I will and I'm not going to" Under SD breathe I heard her (conviently loud enough for me to hear) say "my baby will NEVER stay in this house." Now I not only pissed but offended. Yes I made the comment I'm not watching the baby but I'm not heartless either, if the baby was here and needed changed of course I would change him, play with him, I wouldn't neglect him, she took what I said wrong, I was talking to my DH not her when I laughed. I sent her a text explaining that I meant no harm and I would never let her baby go unattended, she then proceeded to send me a text back that said and I quote: "I will not bother you anymore, I can no longer handle this relationship mentally and I hope you will do the same, good night and good bye" WHAT????? I'm so sick of both of them honestly, my SD and my DH, they are two peas in a pod and if I wasn't on SSDI, have to stay home due to my medication and didn't have a 1990 car that won't make it half way down the street without overheating I would be out of here but unfortunately that is not the case, so, I have blocked her number from my cell phone, told my DH that she is NEVER allowed in my house again and I will also be keeping my DS from seeing her, I feel it the best since she does smoke weed at her house, listen to music with foul language while the kids are present and her boyfriend sits and plays violent, bloody video games, my DH will totally ignore all of it and just let my son run around their house willy nilly, NO WAY. Do I have that right??? Please someone I am losing my mind!!!!

VioletsareBlue's picture

You have every right to say who can be and who cannot be in your house.
I think you should get a new car and kick your DH to the curb!

Sassystepmom's picture

Oh I so understand your feelings. I am in the same boat. My SD 24 has a 2 year old and another on the way. I helped deliver the first GS because there was no one else in the picture and her mother will never be there for her. Now that GS #2 is on the way, I am totally excluded from the pregnancy. She typically only wants to deal with her Dad and pretend he is her hero. He pretty much is. But of course he helps her out WAY more than me. Our BD goes to a school about 20 minutes away from home. He leaves her sitting in afterschool until I can get off of work and pick her up, so he can go to SD house and visit GS. He never changed diapers, fed, bathed or anything while BD was a baby. Now he wants to keep GS every weekend. My DH is a teacher and has summers off. I have had to pay for daycare for 5 summers because he refused to keep her. Now he wants us to keep GS, to help out poor SD. It is very frustrating and I don't see it getting any better. Even when I decide I want to be included and help out with GS, SD turns on me and never includes me in any information, never asks for help or advice when he is sick, etc. I will contact her and ask to have GS come over, and instead of answering me, she will call and make arrangement with my DH. So frustrating!

Maxesmommy's picture

Thanks, I wish I could with all my heart but it's wayyy more complicated than that. Thanks though, glad someones on my side!!!!!

Maxesmommy's picture

@Sassy, geesh. thanks, at least I'm not the only one in this boat, sorry to hear all that, it sounds oh so familar, when she had her baby and we all went to the hospital to see him, no one even offered for me to hold the baby, I just sat in the corner with my bs in my lap, just ridiculous, I wish so bad I could just go....