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Sd constantly lying

PhillySF's picture

My 19 year old stepdaughter has lied repeatedly to her mother (my wife) claiming that I touch her inappropriately every time my wife leaves the room. I have been married for 4 years and these allegations came up after I wouldn't buy something for her a year ago. My wife claimed that she knew they were false until recently when having a heated non physical argument. She screamed that she will always believe her daughter over everyone without proof. I moved 987 miles to marry her and it's finally hitting me that maybe it's not worth it. I feel that I should mention that I have Aspergers Syndrome and this type of behavior is causing me to want to withdraw from any contact with anyone. I'm sorry if I sound like a weak fool. I found this site by accident and needed to vent.

joan mary's picture

You need to be very careful!!!  This is not just a step issue as it could easily morph into a legal one.  Having a marriage fail is painful enought - being accused of sexual abuse could ruin your life, career, extended family, and financial security.

If you are still in the house, I would push my spouse to articulate that they really do not believe these accusations.  Then, I would NEVER be alone in the room with your sd.  I would also suggest to my spouse that I need, for my safety, to have sd get her own place.  

Good luck.  I think you are going to need it.

futurobrillante99's picture

I'd want to get my own place in your situation. I can understand a parent wanting to believe their child, but this is scary. For her to say she knew the allegations were false, but NOW to believe they are true would terrify me. Get out while you can or honestly, I'd consider getting a protective order against or to sue the 19 year old for slander and put her on the spot to explain her allegations.

keepitsimplestupid's picture

This is a bad situation. I would suggest to you that since your sd is accusing you of being inappropriate with her, you bring up the topic of installing a camera in the home. If your dw truly believes her daughter then she should be all for the idea, as would your sd because it would prove her case. Of course it will prove that you haven’t done anything wrong and works in your favor. Suggest a camera. You can find a reasonably priced one on amazon.

You and your wife were having a heated discussion when the accusation came from her so that can be repaired if you want it to be. 

Your sd is 19 and accusing you of touching her. She needs to find another place to live or you do. Never stay someplace when these kinds of accusations are being made. You need to protect yourself.

ndc's picture

I was also going to suggest the camera.  I think you need that, at a minimum, to protect yourself from these allegations.  However, the bigger problem is that the lying SD, who is making serious accusations that could land you in jail, is living in your home (or at least it sounds that way).  IMO, one of you has to go.  Either she moves out, or you do.  It is not worth the trouble that can result to be living under the same roof with that evil girl.  

What is the financial situation in your home?  Is everyone pulling his/her weight?  

PhillySF's picture

My wife and I pay for everything. My SD pays for nothing. She doesn't work.

Ispofacto's picture

Does DW work?

If she really believed SD, she'd have to do something about it.  Not doing something about it kinda kills her credibility.

sammigirl's picture

Set up nanny cameras and a digital tape recorder in your shirt pocket.  Then tell her a few things straight out that will be recorded.  You have a right to protect yourself.  

Take it to a Victim Advocate, usually located in your local Law Enforcement office.  They usually do not charge $$$$.  They are very helpful.   I have had Victim Advocate help me, they are great.

Rags's picture

If your wife wants proof, give her proof.  However, I would show the webcam footage "proof" in court as  you take her for every penny she has with the goal of leaving she and her lying POS waste of skin toxic spawn living under the local overpass.

Grrrrrrr!  This woman and her toxic spawn piss me off to no end and I am not the one married to them.

Find the best divorce attorney in town, form your exit strategy and go to war.  SD-19 is an adult and as such her lies are a crime and can also bear severe financial consequences.  I would make the destruction of these two toxic  people my sole life focus as you work your exit strategy.   Take care of you, move back to your former home and never again tolerate a toxic person in your life.

Good luck.

amyburemt's picture

invest in a nanny cam. protect yourself.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

The cameras are a very good idea.  Sadly, the young lady needs to go to counseling, along with the mother to solve this problem.  She is making claims and one never knows what any one will do these days so you want to protect yourself.

marblefawn's picture

We all got hit between the eyes by stepkids when we engaged in our relationships with their parents, so please don't feel weak or foolish!

I like the camera idea.My guess is that your wife said she believes her daughter because she was angry in the heat of your argument and wanted to hurt you. However, SD could still accuse you to police without your wife endorsing her claim, so you must protect yourself.

If you're back on good terms with your wife, I'd gently ask her if she really believes SD's accusation. You need to know where she stands. But before you ask that question, I'd get that camera installed and make sure it's recording her answer. Or better yet - ask her by email so you have her response on the record.

If SD made this accusation a while ago, what has been done since to address it? Your wife can't possibly expect you to continue living with SD after such an ugly (and threatening) accusation. Time to talk about moving SD on. If your wife isn't open to getting her out, then I'm afraid you'll need to think about getting out.

In this day and age, you cannot afford to take chances with accusations about sexual inpropriety.

PhillySF's picture

I installed the cams in the home without telling my wife and sd19. My sd tried to make another accusation and I showed my wife proof that her daughter is a liar. Sd19 is now living else where and my marriage is much better. Thank you for suggesting the cams.

sandye21's picture

So happy this turned out for you.  I would keep the video though, and keep the cams up just in case SD turns up again.  The daughter should be hung by her thumbs.

Rags's picture

Great to hear that it worked for you.  Do not take the cams down.  Keep them recording.  Just in case.

Keeping taking care of you.  I hope the improvements in your marriage continue.