False allegations
So as of one week ago my boyfriends ex wife put a claim into DSS stating that their father, and my two sons were abusing her children. A caseworker came by questioned my children and me. She's claiming there's physical and sexual abuse. The caseworker told me after interviewing my children and my boyfriends children's that there was nothing concerning going on that she was told by the kids. He is going to the lawyer on Monday to see what he can do regarding stopping her from making anymore false allegations, defamation, etc. What would you do if in my situation?
- Rachel29577's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Lawyer up, like you are doing
Lawyer up, like you are doing, and document everything. EVERYTHING. It's for your protection.
Frankly, if this is an
Frankly, if this is an ongoing pattern for her (of harassing you), I'd move out to protect myself and my kids.
Definitely think it's heading
Definitely think it's heading in that direction
Cameras in the house are
Cameras in the house are helpful too.
SS claimed that DH and I were abusive to my children. I bought cameras before his next visit. I made sure he knew about them immediately when he was in the house and why they were there. The lawyer said that we did perfect in getting them.
I would tell your Skids the same, they can run home and tell BM and that will be good, because the claims stop pretty fast with cameras- they are for your protection.
We did the cameras in the old
We did the cameras in the old house. After 3 DHS investigations we had to walk away because the kids were ramping up their allegations so much one got a psych admit and a stupid gullible caseworker that believed them. Since the girls were getting older and we anticipated there will be more inappropriate behaviors from their older brothers at BM's house, that she would get the girls to say their dad did it. BM has already shown us she was willing to claim DH of doing something that her oldest son did. And the one that got the psych admit showed us she is more than willing to be BM's accomplice in the lies. If she is anything like BM here she is not going to stop and the court system will bankrupt you trying to defend yourself while BM likely gets free or discounted legal services because "she is an abused single mother".
You walked away from the
You walked away from the relationship you were in?
He surrendered his parental
He surrendered his parental rights. But if the kids were still coming around I would be out by now. His son is way too psychotic and abusive for me to cope with being a new mother myself.
Cameras are good, but also
Cameras are good, but also make it a point to never be alone with his kids and never allow your kids to be alone with his kids. Personally I would be considering being separated but married, that way you and your kids are protected in your home.
In all honesty, I'd leave.
In all honesty, I'd leave. False allegations of abuse against your kids are waaaay over the line and not worth it.
I've discussed it with him
I've discussed it with him and he says if I leave she will win by breaking us up. Which okay yeah she might think that but then I think I'll be the winner with being the actual adult in the situation by protecting my children by not dragging them through cps and other authorities. Even if the court rules in his favor she will find another way, another route to harass us. She will never stop. And his son acts like her which is another issue. He is often unbearable.
No, YOU will win by getting
No, YOU will win by getting away from a dysfunctional situation that your boyfriend is unable to protect you from. Anyway, it's not about winning and losing - it's about protecting your children and your mental health and living your best life free from the stress of other people's baggage.
You arent married
So - you can get your ducks in a row and go through your grieving process.
Cameras are great, but this is a pretty extreme situation. You state that she will NEVER stop. Do you really want to live this way????
Im more the work it out and communicate person. Your previous post asked is it worth it? Some cases yes, some no. Its up to you to really evaluate if you want to be the Skid Police.
To add to this, who the hell
To add to this, who the hell cares about winning when you have to live with this crap? There are more important things in life than this petty bean counting...
I would consult my own lawyer
I would consult my own lawyer on behalf of your children to see if there are any harassement type claims that you can put on the stepkids (if they are old enough to know what is going on) and/or their mother, particularly if there have been other issues. Protect your children separately from whatever your boyfriend does, don't rely on him and his lawyer to do it. They have different aims than you have for your kids.
I would also keep my children away from the step kids and never let them be in the same place again. Change your custody schedule with their father or send them to a relative when it is your husband's custody time. Or alternatively get your boyfriend to take his visitation outside of your home, at one of his relative's places or perhaps he can even rent a small appartment for visits if he's the money. He could choose to only take them for a few hours in a public place for now until you two have other arrangements set up or are confident BM isn't going to play this game again.
I was told by my boyfriends
I was told by my boyfriends family that if I didn't want all the kids to be together (mine and his) that it would look suspicious.. like the claims she filed with cps were true. I said no I'm protecting them from other claims in the future and god knows what else. Talking on here has made me see my views and opinions on things are correct or the right thing to do.
Thank you everyone for your
Thank you everyone for your help and comments regarding my situation.