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SD is on cocaine

Shieldmaiden's picture

Submitted by Shieldmaiden on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 10:54am

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Adult Stepchildren

Found out that SD20 (doesn't live with us) is using cocaine. She has been in trouble with other drugs before but seemed to be doing better. DH is worried about her, but I see her as a lost cause. She has always taken short cuts in life and this is finally how its playing out for her. I saw this coming but he didn't. 

My issue is that she often drives her two younger sisters, SD16 and SD18 to family events, and they hang out at her place sometimes. I worry that the two younger SD's will be affected by her drug use. Of course, I don't think this has occurred to DH yet, or that he would say anything if it did. I really don't want the kids driving with her, but I am pretty sure they don't know. If they did, SD18 and SD16 would not get in the car with her. They know better. 

I just wish SD20 would get her s&%t together, but we all know its all about her and her sisters don't factor in to her reality. She is such a terrible human being.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 11:39am

I would absolutely say something to DH about the younger kids hanging out with her. I would also tell BM about your concern. She should be worried about it too!

notarelative's picture

Submitted by notarelative on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 12:19pm

I'm not sure how you found out, but if you believe the information is accurate, you absolutely need to tell DH. If you keep quiet and something happens to the younger SDs, ......

 

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 12:39pm

I'd be more worried about her driving the others under the influence than about her influence on then. 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 2:15pm

My SD is on who knows what and has been for awhile.  Her ex, who is raising the young grandson, called me 5 years ago when he was tentatively letting her back into the boy's life.  He's totally aware of how she can be and asked if I thought she was safe for him.  (He said he wasnt asking DH's opinion because he knew DH would lie for her.)  I gave it a lot of thought because he is no-nonsense about the boy.  I said she was good with him but my concern was with her driving.  I haven't changed my opinion and will, personally, not ride with her.

I'd tell your DH so hes aware of this danger for the younger girls.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 6:04pm

If you have direct knowledge that Coke head SD is driving under the influence or otherwise endangering her younger sibs call the police and CPS to address it.  That will get the attention of both DH and the Coke head.

This is way past the caring tender parenting hug her through it stage.

IMHO of course.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Submitted by Shieldmaiden on Fri, 04/15/2022 - 5:54pm

I guess I didnt' make this clear in my original post, but SD20 is the one who told DH. I don't know if she meant to, or if DH just called her while she was strung out and she let it slip. He seemed surprised, but not upset. I know he is upset, but I think its too much for him to process right away. I am going to see if he brings it up again on his own, and how it might affect his other 2 girls. 

Miss T's picture

Submitted by Miss T on Sat, 04/16/2022 - 6:50pm

If SD is DUI, this has gone beyond a family kerfuffle and become an endangerment issue. She's chauffering people who are technically children, so get CSD involved as well as the cops. They're not going to be super happy when they find out DH has been letting minors in the car with a DUI. But it doesn't matter what your DH or anybody else thinks. Again, this is a matter of protecting people--not just your SDs, but bystanders, people in other cars etc. from someone who should not be behind the wheel. It is difficult, but sometimes you just have to put on your big girl panties and step up. Looks like it's your turn to do just that.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Submitted by Shieldmaiden on Tue, 04/19/2022 - 11:45am

Actually, any DUI's by SD20 would've happened on BM's watch, as she visits them there and picks them up from BMs house. This is because SD20 is no longer allowed in our home (my rule), and I would not let the skids leave with SD20 after hearing what she is up to. As for my "big girl panties," I always have a pair lying around somewhere, but right now I am wearing my "disengagement panties."  Hehehe. Husband needs to borrow my "big girl panties" because apparently they don't make "big boy panties."    

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 04/19/2022 - 1:33pm

yeah, SD23 Feral Forger STILL hasnt gotten her shite together and STILL has her head up her butt. 

Id do hardline talk with younger SDs about this. Its good to be protective, but at this age, its necessary for them to be enabled to make the right decisions.