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Rant-job hunting sd22

Nottakingit's picture

SO is disabled and can't drive so I decided to take SD job hunting. She's known for days I was taking her this morning when I got off work. I told her 3 days ago. She took 15 minutes to get up and was rude about that, slow to get ready and eat, had no list of where to go, had not called to find out which places would have managers in to talk to about already filled applications. And then, while sitting in a staffing agency filling out an application, very loudly and rudely argued with me about how she was NOT going work more than 4 days a week and how she has already told us BOTH and I totally shut down. I KNOW these kids grew up weird and bad and had everything done for them but they are just not at all open to changing. SO is so pissed about her behavior and he's saying go ahead and let her, then when after paying her weekly rent and phone and junk food and cabs back and forth to work she's out of money she'll learn her lesson. I asked how he would have handled her tantrum and he said he'd have blown up and brought her home and made her take cabs to go everywhere she wanted to go. I almost just brought her back home but dammit I need her to work bc 1.I need her out of the house 2.I need her rent money and 3.She has no insurance so she needs some way to pay for her stuff. Now she's trying to act like she didn't just treat me like shit And I'm so tired of all my SD's being shitty then turning right around like nothing happened and acting like it was ok bc they were "just mad".

fairyo's picture

Yep- both these. My exOSD had never had a steady job, met a real doormat, got pregnant and married him them never held down  a job. Sometimes she would get one but for some reason she never, ever started it- there was always something wrong with the people she was going to work for. She was just plain lazy.

In the end she bought an expensive sewing machine (with the X's money, of course) and pretended to start up a business which never made any money. I saw it as a hobby she had taken up to stop her having to go out to work. 

I'm saying this because your SD may find a job- that bit is quite easy, but she will  probably never keep it. If she needs someone to even get her out of bed how is she ever going to hold down a job?

I would stop job hunting for her- she needs to do it all herself. I agree you give her a time-scale, set down the rules so you don't have her hanging around in your space anymore- and then, if the deadline is reached and she still hasn't  left and found work and a place of her own you kick her out, and if SO doesn't like it you kick him out too!

 

ndc's picture

A girl with that attitude is unlikely to get a job and even more unlikely to retain one if she does.  You're wasting your time and gas driving her around to job hunt.  I wouldn't take her unless she showed you, in advance, a list of the places she was going, what time her appointment was (or what time period she had confirmed a manager would be there to see her), and she was appropriately dressed for job hunting. There are plenty of jobs she can apply for online, too. 

Since she doesn't seem to have much motivation, your best approach is probably to give her a deadline by which she has to have a job or be out, and then have your SO enforce it.