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Please I need advise a.s.a.p

NoraAstepmom's picture

Submitted by NoraAstepmom on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 5:05pm

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Adult Stepchildren

My husbands step daughter and her husband were here, For the last 5 years I have had to here them talk crap to me. This time they were here my husband had to leave for work so that left me alone with them for 3 days. Everything was going ok tell the son n law had to come out side talking crap again, mind you this has been going on for 5 years. I have been trying to disengage from them. This time when he was here he told me I should leave and take half of everything my husband owns. I told him I'm not here for what my husband has I'm here because I love him. He then told me he is tired of my husband treating his wife like she is his wife and if it doesn't stop he will get a divorce. He also said that when my husband goes to there home that my husband has to tell his step daughter how much she looks like her mom. My husband also bought him a Harley for 20,000, before my time and asked me what he thinks my husband would say if he sold it. I told him well its yours do what you want. I get this kind of crap every time they come to my husbands home. My husband said he was going to pull his trailer off there property, that he uses for work that he was tired of it. He pays for all there utilitys for them letting him keep his trailer there. Well my husband is now at there place he called me saying that the husband said from now on he will not say anything except to come up and have a good time. This has been going on for 5 years it still hasn't stopped. Then my husband says well if I pull my trailer out that he will never see his step daughter again. I said well you can go visit them anytime your down there. I just said do what ever you want to do. Please I need to no what to do.

bellladonna's picture

Submitted by bellladonna on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 5:26pm

You need to stop entertaining them and their nonsense.

Also....use there when referring to a place, and use their when referring to people.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 5:41pm

Nora, these skids of yours are toxic brats. They are trying to manipulate Daddy with threats. The problem is, after reading some of your older post, I think this daughter and SIL might just get their way.

Your husband is afraid of losing these adult children. If I were him I'd be ready and willing to call daughter's bluff or let her go, whichever the case really is. Of course she doesn't want the trailer moved, that would mean Daddy no longer pays the bills at her place for her. Of course SIL is saying he'll behave. SIL won't behave but he's telling your husband that in hopes husband might once again forgive and forget. If husband falls for the false promises then life goes right back to where it is now...a entitled manipulative user/abuser daughter along with her ditto louse of a husband (SIL).

Nobody can tell your husband this and make him believe it. He wants to believe his kids are changing. He wants to believe his kids won't use him and take advantage of him. And most of all, he's scared of losing the kids.

In my opinion, he should yank the trailer. He should drive away ignoring their fake promises and rants. I wouldn't want these brats in my life if I had to pay them to be a part of my life. If husband pulls the trailer out, one of two things will happen 1) daughter will cut her father out of her life or 2)daughter will make the threat, pout, rant say terrible things and then eventually learn Dad isn't going to be bullied and used anymore and really is not going to put up with her behavior and manipulating ways anymore.

Husband needs to make this decision. Continue to be daughter's puppet, or change losing her but very likely having a much more happy peaceful life with her out of it. There is the rare chance if he does this daughter might realize he means business and slowly change, but he can't count o that.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 7:50pm

OP's husband's last wife is deceased. I'm not sure if this is DH's 'step' daughter or actual daughter and OP misspoke. He very well could have raised the girl for years and with BM deceased, he considers 'step' his own now. Nothing incest like about it. The daughter isn't living with DH and OP either. She was there for a visit of multi days along with her worthless husband aka OP's SIL (or 'step' SIL).

The daughter has her own home (which is where trailer is parked for OP's self work related reasons). Not so confusing if reread again slowly Smile

This daughter and other skids of OP have been a royal user/abuser entitled manipulating herd of a$$holes to the OP and OP's DH since OP came into the picture 5 years ago. They were the same towards OP's husband before DH met OP. DH has bailed these brats out left and right and handed them money every time they snap and say jump. Sad really.

NoraAstepmom's picture

Submitted by NoraAstepmom on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 10:20pm

Lovin life they do not live here with us they come here to visit is all. But always turns into some type of drama. This is my husbands step daughter from his wife who has passed. The mom has been gone almost 7 years now.

NoraAstepmom's picture

Submitted by NoraAstepmom on Tue, 09/03/2013 - 10:45pm

I just talked to my husband but have a good feeling he will not be pulling his trailer out. I didn't ask but could tell by his voice. I know how my husband is when it comes to them. She wrote an email that was 5 pages long talking crap and saying I said things that I didn't. How am I to prove I didn't I cant. What my husband thinks of me is important to me. I'm loosing respect for my husband I blame him for this he could have put a stop to it 5 years ago, well he said he did say something to them but it just continued, I didn't want to be a trouble maker by saying anything. When they came this time I did speak up, but it didn't do any good. I have tried standing up for myself but haven't gotten any where and then it builds up and I go cry some where. I don't like confrontation. His step daughter and husband are only worried about a living will they want him to do one. I'm not sure why he doesn't give them one maybe it would make my life easier. They were worried about the life insurance policy I signed a paper that I wouldn't contest it. My brother in law told me one time that it sucks to love someone so much to not get that same love in return. Anyways will find out in a few days maybe what will be going on. You know coming here really does help me. Thank you all so much for your input.