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not sure if I want to cont my realationship with my boyfriend

sassycat5740's picture

Im currently involved with my boyfriend whom I have known for a yr but, we only have been dateing for 3 months. I love him more than ever, we were friends for a yr then we decided to get involved. there is one problem. his daughter, she is grown have kids of her own. Im to a point where it is gonna come to me saying something to her or just keeping my mouth quite and moveing on alone. she constantly calls her dad all day & nite. knowing well he is with me, she had the nerve to come to my bldg and stand in my courtyard and yell " dad, dad" then kept calling his phone. she saw my tv was on & hurd his phone ringing. she stresses him out over an issue with her son who she dosen't want living with her. he had to deal with the police when a maint worker was told to change his daughters locks on her apt door. because she dosen't want her son to have a key. when I did try to talk to him about the situation he says Im stressing him out. she called him at 9:00am yesterday morning again she stressed him. now her son that she dosen't want living at her house spit on her car & put a big dent in it. I really don't know what to do about this. my boys are grown, they stay out of it. they like him and he likes them, everyone gets along. but, for some reason she dosen't know enough to just back off. she wants to know everything that is going on with us. he dosen't say anything and neither do I. I told her at one time he is my boyfriend and that is how I introduce him to people. I get the feeling she is jelious & dosen't like the fact that he is spending time with me and not her anymore. not sure of what I should do.

StickAFork's picture


Yuck. I'd find a new man. Those crazy adult sd's don't change their tune.

emotionaly beat up's picture

So very, very sorry, but there is nothing, NOTHING at all you can do about this. The only person who can fix it is your boyfriend, and clearly he won't. When you have a grown woman behaving like this and her daddy fixing all her problems, it is because daddy likes it. They want to be the knight in shining armour for their adult daughters and you know what. They never change. He really didn't have to deal with the police at all, it was just easier for him to do that than it is to say NO to her.

You may as well do yourself a favour here, you say you are on the verge of saying something, SAY IT. The biggest mistake I and many others here made was letting it go on too long. In my case and the case of many others we let it go on for years.

These adult step daughters are not behaving in a normal manner, neither are there dad's.

The sooner you put it out there, the sooner you know where you stand.

I guess you need to look at her like a disease, the sooner you seek treatment for it, the better your chances are of a cure. In this case, the sooner you put her in her place, and your boyfriend too, the sooner you know whether the realtionship will work or not. The biggest mistake you can make here is to say nothing. That I am afraid just makes it so much worse. You are right she is jealous she does not want to share daddy with anyone, and daddy is catering to that, therefore encouraging this behaviour. He could stop it in a heartbeat if he really wanted to.

forgotten wife's picture

they ^^^^ are giving you good advice. don't be like i was and ignore the warning signs. if you do, i guarantee you you'll be very sorry.

INgeborg Hirsch's picture

^^^Truer word were never spoken. My sanity is more important than a relationship with my boyfriends daughter32 and for that matter, my boyfriend.