Hi all. I have been reading your different stories with great relief! I just wish I had found this forum a week ago! Just a quick rundown. Have three SKs, have been with my DH now for five years. We are very happy and with my children- no problems. We all live in different states and ever since I have been with him I have heard it all. The abuse and screaming via phone, text messages, and the rest! Dealing with the fallout from those times is awful! But we pick up the pieces and he continues to hope that in the end, one day etc. Then the silence, changing of phone numbers etc. He religiously rings when he has a number every week or tries some form of contact, even so. There has never been an actual reason or decent explanation as to why he isn't spoken to, acknowledged or even asked how he is and why he gets abused verbally over the years!!... and then you would hear from one out of the blue and usually for money. It has admittedly been less and less as time has gone on but for myself...the anger I have and the sadness for him is sometimes unbearable. The BM I don't think I need to go into details about as she is poison but when he has tried there it always backfires and as he says- you will never win. Naturally, the SKs are in their 20's now and the last time BM spoke it was their choice now whether they wanted him in their lives after years of sabotaging him even before we met. He stayed nearby when on his own and not good enough. He moved away for work reasons and that's not good enough. He pays child support= not good enough. We borrow money for when one has an accident, he drives all the way there and is turned away and the SS didn't even know he had turned up due to the BM and the DIL not saying anything! When it does come out, well the SS just isn't interested and then cuts him out anyway! I lost it just over two years ago when DH was being abused by BM so I texted her back..after drinking! damn! Yes, I know! I have kept out of it as much as possible except that time...as it was just so upsetting as DH so doesn't deserve this crap! I have always been the person who knows there are always two sides to a story and usually, I lean towards getting to know the woman but this is the first time I have ever come across just out and out manipulation and the twisty, turny mindset of vindictiveness and hatred/bitterness- that is rampant with this BM which has now been passed onto the SKs. My olive branch which was there for a while with the SKs...in particular they wanted to be on our Facebook but just sat and said nothing, did nothing, I send a nice message asking how they are- nothing nada and frankly I really don't have time for people who aren't interested in asking how he is or we are even..so as this is building up..one of them out of the blue after leaving our fb then wanting back on suddenly rang (syrupy sweet-as DH said) DH asking for some money. They had a chat. All seemed to be fine. DH is just quietly nurturing it along for the few weeks. I am holding my tongue. DH thinks he has gotten somewhere with SKD and tells her that once the money has gone in then make sure the communication is kept up. Same old same old- he rings and nothing. Then I lose it. Yes, the damn drink! Being bottling up again and this time, I contact both of the SKDs via fb message and let them have it! In my mind...if we can't get anywhere with small talk and nice messages then maybe I will get a bite if I go for it, swearing and all- just roll in the gutter and tell them what I thought! Well, it worked! I got the bites. I know, not the best way to go around it, but am over it! After the initial responses from SKDs the next day while sober I carried on the conversation as DH and myself would really like to know WHY?! So I told them to go for it! Lay their cards on the table! One did and told me to butt out and called me filthy and horrible and I attacked them which I did but hey!..and I have now given them the ammo re me anyway! Besides they had already decided a long time ago so what did I have to lose? What can I say? Well..it is what it is and what's done is done.To deflect it all away from DH maybe? Take the pain from him? What I do know is that at the end of the day it will never be anything even for DH or if it does change for him- at least I know where I stand. There was enough information in the messages for me to hear beyond the words. Do I regret what I said? Hell, no! I regret HOW I spoke in order to get a response! We are in our 50's and as embarrassing as it is for me right now- as I know my message is making the rounds- I will not put up with rude, obnoxious and abusive people towards my DH for obscure reasons- and how does it feel getting a bit of your own medicine? Being on the receiving end of unwarranted abuse? Tit for tat I know- maybe I could have handled it better but hey..how can you care about what was never there in the first place? As DH says- well in amongst the messages there still is no explanation as to why. We will keep to our own square and concentrate on our life, the rest of our families and friends where love is. He will still continue to do what he does if he can but for now, my stance is enough already and by virtue of what I did I effectively severed the cord. Such a shame! Oh and by the way this being my second marriage- my SKs from the first marriage and the BM we are still all friends so there you go! Never had this before hence my vent! Even then I have held back on everything else that has gone on but that may be for another time! Or do I need to? It seems this type of scenario is more common than I thought!