My stepdaughters are stepping away
:? Hi I'm a young step father with two little stepdaughters whom have a hard understanding of rules as there mom is
A more laid back easy going mom. Trying to help her, I stood up to the plate
After first moving in. Helping with rules as their mom was pregnant with my child.
Let me explain something first the father of the two girls has Not seen the girls
Or attempted to see them in a year in a half even tho he had access every secondweekend
What I'm trying to get at is my daughters now.. It has been rough for them to try and adapt
To rules but they still know I'm there for them if they need me. There father took there mom to court
To only gain supervised as he had a former drug addiction. Let me just put out there my stepdaughter whom is 8 never really has given me credit for all I do.. In her eyes he's the best dad but I've watched her get hurt so many times by him breaking promises. Me & my wife fight all the time and sometimes I feel like giving up but I can't .. We've been threw so much I guess I need advice on how to reconnect with them now that there father is going to be back in their life. & is it's not normal to have the fathers mom saying they don't have to listen to me on the side I have an 8 yr old saying it's mommy a house and she can tell on me if I'm mean to her.. Do people get threw these issues? Their mom is telling them to respect me but privately .. So I feel she not really doing her job.. It's breaking my heart for them to see their father again even if it's supervised they still are at risk that he won't show up. How do I deal with that? Does life get easier? Even if a 8 year old is rolling her years like a 13 year old. My other stepdaughter is 5 we were close till she heard the news she is going to be reconnected with her dad now she isn't much talking to me. I think it's her sister more less saying things to her. I'm at the finish line. Need advice
Let's keep in mind me & the 5
Let's keep in mind me & the 5 year old are super close & she doesn't barely remember him.
They are not your daughters.
They are not your daughters. They have father. No matter how awful he may be, he's their dad.
You can't control what grandma says about you, but your wife can control how the girls treat you.
A different approach I will
A different approach I will take.
You are trying to do what you need to do and I appreciate your efforts. Setting up boundaries and guideline for the kids is very important for everyone in this situation. The reference I will take is this ~ when your 8 yo started her first day of school I m sure the teacher wanted rules n guidelines in her classroom. Institute this idea not in a dictatorship manner more of a family meeting and go around to all members of the family and ask what rules do you think are important to have in this house ~ n try next person says n so on. After rules are established ~ now consequences are made if you break the rules. Make the chore list ~ as since Mommy is having a baby we need to help her out. What are something we can do around the house to help mommy out. You gotta get on there level ...
The part w BD ~ you gotta be supportive for the girls. Tell them it's gonna be good for them ~ to spend time with Daddy. ( even if you feel differently ~ don't set them up for failure ~ this is your opportunity ; to be there soft place ~ if things go bad ~ you will catch them if they fall. You will be there shoulder to cry on.) This really is your golden opportunity to be present in there life. If things go sour with BD n the girls ~ you will be there constant in their life.