You are here

My Husband Passed Away

old-blue-eyes's picture

Submitted by old-blue-eyes on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 7:39pm

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

I haven't been on this site in quite a while. My dh died after a long illness August 7 2013. I was his caregiver right to the end, when his life was slipping away. Last Feb. 2013 I notified his daughter that her dad has taken ill she only talk to him over the phone when he was in the hospital. He did come home for about 4 months and took a turn for the worst I had to call an ambulance because he was so weak and on continuous oxygen, he had a nasty bacteria in his lungs that even the antibiotics were not working any more he was wasting away but now he is in better place and not suffering anymore.
I again notified his daughter and not only did she visit him in the hospital or send a card, she DID NOT show up at the funeral services that's "very bad" to say the least. No respect for her dad. She only used him for his money and pity. Well now he is gone and she will never get either.
I immediately changed my will and made sure of that.
I miss him very much and it will take time to heal my broken heart that will leave scars if it mends. DD does not call me to even see how I am doing. May her life end in misery as always.

IslandGal's picture

Submitted by IslandGal on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 7:43pm

I am so very, very sorry for your loss old-blue-eyes.

Please, don't let these selfish, entitled, evil-minded bitches get to you. It is their choice, their burden to carry. The fact that they can never speak to him again, may hit home, one day - and they will have to deal with it.

In the meantime, know that there are people out there who care for you. Let them be the ones to occupy your thoughts, along with the memories you have of your husband.

AlreadyGone's picture

Submitted by AlreadyGone on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 7:52pm

Very sorry for your loss and equally sorry that your DH went ignored by his own child at such a crucial time. It must have been horrible for him and hard for you to watch. His suffering is over now and though you'll probably never forget her thoughtless and cruel actions, perhaps you can find some forgiveness.... not for her but.... for yourself, in memory of the life you shared with him. Best wishes to you.

over_the_rainbow's picture

Submitted by over_the_rainbow on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 8:11pm

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so sorry you and your husband had the stress of his daughter at an already difficult time. No one knows what happens when an earthly life ends, but I hope he has moved on to an afterlife where his spirit can gain understanding of the difficulties he faced during his time here so he can be at peace.

My dad passed away 2 months and 2 days ago. I have a brother who sounds a lot like his daughter, he and dad were not on speaking terms when dad passed. He did show up for the funeral, but refused to speak to anyone the whole time. It makes a sad occasion so much more difficult when there is that much tension.

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 9:13pm

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad you had the presence of mind to change your will quickly, I do hope you had an attorney assist you with the wording to specifically exclude her? I know in some states if you just leave kids out of a will they can contest it and win. I've seen it happen here. But if you put something to the effect of "and to Mary snottypants, my husbands daughter, I leave nothing" so they can't later claim you "just forgot to mention them"

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Submitted by Igiveupsotornup... on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 10:03pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers sent your way. Hugs.

May karma bite his daughter in the ass someday too!

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Thu, 11/14/2013 - 10:24pm

So sorry. It is obvious you have suffered much emotional pain over both the loss of your Husband and the heartless lack of response from his Daughter. Please consider that SD's actions are probably not limited to her Father, but to others in her life, and that people tend to eventually receive what they give.

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Fri, 11/15/2013 - 4:48pm

How sad.. i am very sorry. You had such a difficult time.

I think your SD's conscience will get to her sooner or later. You may never find out
but this is pretty bad what she did. It will haunt her.

jennaspace's picture

Submitted by jennaspace on Fri, 11/15/2013 - 7:16pm

So sorry! How very painful. Hope you have other people in your life who can be there for you during this time. Big Hugs!

jennaspace's picture

Submitted by jennaspace on Fri, 11/15/2013 - 7:16pm

So sorry! How very painful. Hope you have other people in your life who can be there for you during this time. Big Hugs!

2Tired4Drama's picture

Submitted by 2Tired4Drama on Sat, 11/16/2013 - 8:51am

OBE, I am so sorry. When you feel low remember this: You gave your husband the greatest gifts one person can give another - love, loyalty and compassion.

When a loved one is dying, if you are able to be there for them it proves your devotion because it is so difficult and hard to watch. It takes great love and courage to be a caregiver. There is a special place in heaven for those who must witness and experience such heartbreak, and you have earned a place there.

I have a feeling that many years from now, when your DD is on her own deathbed and her life passes before her, she will have a flash of understanding about what she did to her father and how horrible it was. Perhaps that "flash" will last an eternity and be her own personal purgatory.

SugarSpice's picture

Submitted by SugarSpice on Sun, 11/17/2013 - 11:13am

i am very sorry for your loss. he left this world with an uncaring child and you need to feel sorry for him for that. find peace.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Submitted by shes driving me... on Tue, 11/19/2013 - 2:34pm

Oh, hugs and love out to you as well as prayers.

So the daughter didn't show. How terrible for your husband during his last days.

NoraAstepmom's picture

Submitted by NoraAstepmom on Mon, 12/09/2013 - 4:48pm

I guess I need to take my head out of the sand, I never saw this post tell now.
I am very sorry for your loss. Hug's to you. Keep the toxic ones out of your life.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 12/10/2013 - 6:41am

My condolences on the loss of your husband.

The daughters (SD and DD) will live the lives they have made for themselves and will suffer appropriately.

Take care of yourself.

JacksGal's picture

Submitted by JacksGal on Tue, 12/10/2013 - 4:13pm

I'm so sorry for your loss and the pain you are still feeling because of them. It makes me so sad to hear this kind of thing. I'm an adult stepchild myself and we were all there when Dad got sick, we were all there for the funeral, we still keep our stepmother in our lives and never uttered a protest about him leaving everything to my her because we know we wouldn't have had Dad in our lives as long as we did if it wasn't for her taking such excellent care of him. It's heartbreaking to hear that your skids don't appreciate your love for their father, but he appreciated you and your life together. He got them, he picked you. There's a difference.