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"I am going to get you two to be friends"

Shieldmaiden's picture

DH and I were getting ready for bed this week when DH says, out of the blue, "Wouldn't it be fun to rent 5 snowmobiles and go snowmobiling with the kids?" I said "Sure, but why 5 snowmobiles? It's just you, me, (SD16) and (SD18)? Is SD18's best friend coming?" 

He says "No, (SD20) can come! It will be so much fun!" 

I look at him like he is insane, since SD20 is banned from our house and just admitted she is back to snorting the white dragon again (cocaine). Not to mention she hates my guts and is always lying to her younger sisters about us, and making up stories about the past that never happened. 

He says "I am going to get you two to be friends." and smiles. I told him "I am going to assume that you are not having a stroke, but that you are just having a bad reaction to your Ambien. SD20 and I are not likely to EVER be friends, and you should probably accept that."

Why are DH's so clueless?  Why do they think we stepmom's enjoy being stolen from, lied to, manipulated, and generally f%$# -ed with? Why do they think their precious offspring are somehow going to magically change their personalities from felons to "the perfect child" that they wish they could be?  I am too tired to even roll my eyes at this point. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

Maybe SD20 aint the only one into drugs?

Their pipe dream is to have one big happy family Brady Bunch style. If only the SM can put her head in the sand and ignore the shitty behavior life would be grand.

How nice he thinks you and snort queen SD are gonna be besties. BIG SIGH

Winterglow's picture

"DH is that your own brain you're running or are you breaking it in for an idiot?"

caninelover's picture

It took a long time for my SO to realize that wasn't going to happen for Bratty and I.  We're probably all happier being seperated from her.

Yeah they really can't see their offspring for what they really are and love to look at them through rose-colored glasses.

sandye21's picture

Oh, isn't this convenient!  Now DH can say, "I tried!", and he's no longer the 'heavy'.  (Of course, I can advise you what to do, but come up with my own replies 3 days late, but please bear with me.)

Making statements like this places you in the position of having to defend yourself when DH already knows how you feel about SD.  I'll bet he has discussed this already with the other SDs then when you say no he is not the heavy.  One thing I screwed up on when exDH would start these conversations is that I didn't 'lob' it back to him, and ask him how he planned on demonstrating to SD his support for me and our marriage.  How is your DH planning to ensure that SD respects you and your belongings?  The 'conversation' should take place between DH and SD20, something like, "I would love to have you join the rest of us for a snowbiling weekend but your past behavior concerns me.  I want you to be respectful of my wife and I."

notarelative's picture

Snowmobling. It's the end of April. Is there snow to do this?

SD20 has admitted to using. Is he hoping she will get clean before the trip? Is he going to give access to a motorized vehicle to someone actively using? Will she bring enough with her to get him arrested too?

I think I'd stay home from this trip. 

shamds's picture

He'll push hos partner/spouses buttons and try to insert the feral skid that she's completely disengaged from due to disrespect, abuse, lack of boundaries, causing issues in marriage etc.

the spouse/partner has enough and tells her partner she's done and that kidult is no longer welcome, stepdad says ok he understands then a year or so later behind your back is planning outings or events for your household with those disengaged skids hoping you'll not find out or doing it last minute so you'll smile like an obedient housewife...

don't fall for it!! You disengaged for a multitude of reasons due to skids action or inaction. Has anything about them changed? If not then disengagement still stands.

when hubby goes with the nonsense of "well she apologised" when it was a half arsed one to him and not you or hubby says why not give her another chance when she's had plenty and many yrs and chosen to never change, then disengagement stands.

empty promises and apologies mean nothing going on past behaviour 

Shieldmaiden's picture

Here's an idea I had. My DH hates his boss with a passion. The boss is a middle management type that won't get his hands dirty but often throws him under the bus to save his own skin. In order to let DH understand how "fun" it is to have someone on vacation with you who doesn't like you, respect you, or have your best interests at heart, how about I invite his boss? That way, if oldest SD get's to f*** with me, then his boss gets to f*** with him. FUN FOR EVERYONE! 

Movingonisbest's picture

 In order to let DH understand how "fun" it is to have someone on vacation with you who doesn't like you, respect you, or have your best interests at heart, how about I invite his boss? That way, if oldest SD get's to f*** with me, then his boss gets to f*** with him. FUN FOR EVERYONE! 

This is hilarious!!! Most if not all of these men with toxic kids have double standards. This should really teach him a lesson. Lol.