I do believe that it's time to remove yourself from this dysfunction. You cannot save these people, not even your fiancé.

He blames you and tells you to act like an adult, while he's doing drugs? I'd be gone.

I don't want this to sound harsh but you need to get out of that situation NOW. With that much bad blood and awful history, the chances of any of it getting better are slim to none as far as I can see. If it's your home, chuck the lot of them out. If it isn't, pack your bags. This whole story sent up red flag after red flag for me. Think of yourself and your sanity and what kind of life you really want to lead.

You can't bring all the kittens home.

Sometimes when the train is already on the track and en route, its better to not stand on the tracks.

Sometimes the world doesn't need a superhero

Sometimes you don't realize you're actually drowning when you're trying to be everyone else's anchor

Some nets don't hold all you think should fit.

100 ways to say it, the boat is sinking, better to leave it behind and swim to shore my dear.

SAVE YOURSELF AND RUN!

OK, I just can't get past this.... "I am more miserable then anything I have ever dreamed of".

You absolutely CANNOT get married right now. Maybe not ever, to this man. I know you don't want to hear that. But you have to understand you cannot save him. You can't. He has to save himself.

Go find an AlAnon meeting. Seriously, you need to talk to other people who have been where you are. You need to listen to them. Because just like your SO has to save himself? So do you.

At this point in my life, IF my DH brought one of his kids back into our home I would leave. We have been together for over 10 years now. We had all 3 skids full time and I was ready to walk until we went to counseling.

If your SD can make up such a story about her dad then imagine the story she can make up about you. Honestly, in my opinion, If your SO is on drugs and his daughter is on drugs you do not have a fighting chance. What SD put her father through she also put you through. You have been disrespected and blamed from the minute she stepped back into YOUR home. Either she leaves or I would. You are fighting a battle that probably cannot be won.

How the hell does your SO think he can help his daughter when he cannot even help himself? You need to go talk to someone that specializes in people with addictions. I predict that SD is going to use her daddy against you. All she is looking for is help and daddy is trying to help but mean ole' daddy's girlfriend is not wanting me back in your life. SD will say, "your girlfriend is trying to sabotage my recovery. She wants you all to herself". blah, blah, blah. Watch out for her she will come between you and SO.

RUN!!!

You are living with two addicts, both of them actively using. What would you tell your best friend or your sister to do? You would tell them to get out of there.

Addicts lie, cheat, steal. Their only goals are the next high. Your money and your nice things will go missing. You will grow even more resentful.

Here's how we help addicts--we allow them to be responsible for their own actions. Your fiance's action was to allow another addict to move in without consulting you. That action causes a reaction -- you find it intolerable so you find another place to live. Eventually your fiance will either want you back and will therefore have to clean up his act and his daughter will need to be gone, or he will go down the addict's rat hole.

And there is NOTHING you can do to help or save him. That's on him. Sure, you can drive the car to doctor or therapist appointments or help get him checked into rehab, but if you have been helping him for three years and he's still using, I don't think you're really helping. I don't mean that in an unkind way, either. Maybe you're helping him to function, but you're not helping him find his path to sobriety.

It's damn hard. Even those who WANT to stay sober frequently relapse. AA long-term success rate is something like 10%, which is about the same as other addiction recovery programs. It's depressing, and your fiance has just added another factor that will only serve to keep him in the addiction loop.

Save yourself. No kidding.

You can't save your boyfriend, just like he can't save his daughter. Do yourself a favor and get out ASAP. He will bring you down and that will affect you the rest of your life, either with or without him.

Don't go home. Do the best thing you can do for yourself right now and go straight to an ALANON meeting. You need a serious reality check that you are powerless over this whole situation. Even if there was no daughter in this situation, it is still an entirely hopeless relationship if fiance is not willing to get help on his own. There is nothing YOU can do to make this better for him.

You can't save someone that doesn't feel they need to be saved.

YOU however need to look in the mirror and wipe the co-dependent sign off of your forehead.

You admitted you're miserable. You're going to have to do the hard thing and make a big change in your life. Find a place to live, pack your bags, move out and break off the relationship.

He is not going to change and is only headed into a flaming death spiral. Do you really want him to take you with him?

Get out, get some counseling and get into some Al-anon meetings.

I hope, for your health and sanity, you take our advice and get out as soon as possible.

You are a professional woman right?

Research codependency.

You said yourself "so I can continue to help my fiancée get sober." WTF! Its not your job to do that...its his. You are enabling him.

Quit trying to rescue / save everyone.

Is this your house? If so, kick both of them out and have the locks changed. Locksmiths work after hours. .. if not, have someone go with you to get your stuff and do not look back.

If SD made false accusations against her BD, there's nothing stopping her from doing worse to you.

Your fiance had no right whatsoever to allow his DD to move in without talking with you and supporting your response of "HELL NO".

You are not going to fix this man. Save yourself.

I agree with everyone here who says get out and save yourself. Nothing good will come out of this situation. Your SD will probably accuse you of something at some point, and if DH is not standing up for you, you're going to be in an untenable situation. And that's assuming he's sober. With him as a druggie as well...

Save yourself the heartache later. Don't marry this guy.

I was married to an alcoholic/drug addict for five years. Some of the worse years of my life. Why didn't I leave sooner? Because I felt bad for him, because I knew things would be worse for him without me there to pick up the pieces for him day after day after day. I finally realized, he is an adult and needed to take responsibility for his own actions and life.

There was no way I could have ever "saved" him and honey, there is no way you will ever save your man. We are not trained to deal with addicts and honestly, love is never enough when living in this type of situation. Eventually, you will wake up to the same realization I did. NOTHING you do will be enough. He has to do it for himself.

From your post, I can tell today is not the day you wake up and put your own happiness first. I just hope for your sake, you do it before these people ruin your career, your finances and possibly your freedom...if your SD decides to tell some lies about you they way she did dear daddy.

I wish you the best of luck

I was you once, in love with a hardcore drug addict. I thought I could help him too, but I learnt quickly enough that I couldn't help him because he didn't want to help himself. The Nar-Anon meetings will help you. They helped me. I felt less alone with my secret life. It was a secret life because I never told anyone what was going on. I was too embarrassed. I hope you stick to your 60 day plan as it will just get worse. Addiction is a downward spiral until the addict hits their rock bottom or dies. Why would you want to go along for the ride?

I finally left my addict after I lost everything. The most important thing I lost was myself during that period in my life. It took years to find myself again. I was a shell of my former self. I'll never date an addict again even if he's clean. I don't want to be around for the relapse and get stuck in some codependency hell ever again.

Please read up on being codependent. YOU cannot help your fiance. HE cannot help his daughter. Only when they decide to get help will anything TRULY change.

Please get out as soon as you can. You don't need the stress in your life. It is already taking a toll on your health.