My husband and I got back on Friday from Mexico where we celebrated our 16th anniversary. On Sunday, we celebrated his 56th birthday at home, unpacking and enjoying our 3 dogs and the beautiful sunshine. My 40 y.o. son in SLC was the only kid who bothered to call and wish my husband a happy birthday. He has always been close to his stepdad and respects him for the way he treats me as well.
A few months ago I posted here (for the second year) that my husband and I weren't happy to learn that his adult son and daughter made plans to spend Father's Day with their late mother's husband, "Dave". At the time, I decided to disengage from the ongoing "daddy's day vacation" drama. We did follow through on our promise to give SD and her boyfriend 3-day concert passes (already purchased when we thought they'd be watching our pets). We weren't invited (again) to granddaughter's birthday party, but made sure that we could visit and give her presents before our anniversary trip. SD was friendly and excited about concert but she didn't invite her dad to sit down or stay long while wishing granddaughter a happy birthday.
I did mention to SD that we'd be home from our trip before her Dad's birthday on the 29th. I even made sure to mention his birthday on FB (as I have each year as a reminder for them).
But, my husband didn't receive a call or text or visit from his children (25 and 28) on his birthday. He wasn't disappointed. He wasn't sad or angry. He had a fun day. And he just seemed happily disengaged from them.
Life is Good.