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"Go f"#* yourself"

Jzell67's picture

Well my partners 21 year old son has just told me to go f myself. What a charmer.

I have told my partner he needs to leave. It is my partners house so if the son is not asked to leave I'll be going.

Is it just my partner that does it, or do all partners, second guess everything you tell them like you've turned brain dead all of a sudden. So frustrating!!!!!!!!!

WalkOnBy's picture

Oh, you have an older version of my SS17, aka ASS.

Your partner's kid is an adult, so either dad pushes him out of the nest, or you find another place to nest.

notasm3's picture

No way I would live for 5 more minutes with an adult male who told me to go fuck myself.

At 21 he should be out of the nest anyway. If your DH has a lick of sense he will evict the bastard today.

hereiam's picture

Oh man, my SD24 would not have the guts to tell me that. And if she did and she lived with us? Well, she wouldn't be anymore.

notasm3's picture

SS30 has zero control when raging drunk - which is pretty much every day. He'd be more likely though to take a swing at me - which is why I haven't seen him in 2 years.

AVR1962's picture

Time for SS to leave and good for you for realizing this and not putting up with it. He is obviously angry at his parents but is blaming you as you are the easy target for his frustrations towards his parents. I do hope your partner firmly addresses this with his son, otherwise it is an injustice to you.

still learning's picture

time for widdle baby boy to leave the nest. He's too old to be living on daddy's dime and being so disrespectful. Hope you have a solid plan.

Jzell67's picture

I'm pretty lucky as I always have a place to go to so no problem there. Both SS 20 & ss21 moved back in around March. FML.

My reply to him was a general "if you don't like it you can get the fuck out". It's not my house and they know it so they think they can say what they like as they are and I'm quoting them "blood related to the deed holder of the house and can manipulate any situation I want"........ Well lucky me... (I was going to reply "well I'm fucking the deed holder to the house so bring it on little boy"...... Now I wish I had)

Yes they can say what they like they are adults. But it's up to my partner to deal with them when they do.

I told my partner I want him gone, she wants to discuss it. What for I said? So you can convince me to let him stay? No discussion. I want him out.

I'm very lucky as I have a very supportive family and counsellor. When we were discussing the SS x2 the first thing the counsellor asked was do they have a date for when they're leaving. LOL my partner nearly choked to death....

ETexasMom's picture

Next time turn around and say "sorry I only f*%^* your father". The shock and mental imagine might shock him.

omgbecky's picture

If your partner doesn't back you up TO THE MAX, it's time to get to steppin'.

You're living my nightmre, btw-- adult babies moving back home to sponge off their parent. What a crock of crap that is! I keep hearing about how haaaaaaaaaaaaard it is for kids nowadays, waaah waaah waaaaaaaaah!

Your partner has got to stop enabling his/her children. Tough love. A 21 year old with so little self control and respect for his elders that he'll tell you to go eff yourself? He's ill prepared for adult life. Looks like he needs a crsh course to me.

If it were me and I had options, I'd leave to prove my point, and I would not go back unless/until BOTH are gone. Time to grow up, Skids!

Jzell67's picture

So latest update......

My partner asked me when I want him out by so I gave a date.

I was told this would happen and that my partner doesn't want to lose me so "has no choice".

My partner has an older son whose 32 and thinks they should both go and that they have it easy and should be given a wake up call. He's speaking to my partner later this week so fingers xxxx

I will believe it when I see it. This is not the first time I've been disrespected by this lot, but it will be the last.

SugarSpice's picture

i had adult sd tell me to go to hell to my face when she was living with us. that is when i asked her when she was moving out. thankfully dh was in possession of his testicles at the time and supported me. he moved out.

for some reason spouses and partners lose their balls when confronted when their own children pull crap.

Jzell67's picture

So funny event today.

SS and partner where discussing a show they were watching and SS said, in a voice loud enough for me to hear, that unless a new partner loves the step kids people shouldn't get together.

All I thought was looks like your parents are going to be single forever coz no one could love you little fuckers except blood relatives... }:)

Raggles's picture

Why is it these skids think they can disrepect their parents and have bad manners towards SO and other adults.
Sd18 totally ignores me (which suits me fine) however i pull SO up on the lack of respect from her towards him in HIS home. He does try and reprimand but it has little affect as she just ends up having a temper tantrum. He then gives me stick for causing an atmosphere!!!!
Personally i think he is scared of her which i have told him but all she is is a spolit little baby not getting hwr own way coz daddylies attention is not on her!
Amuses me that everytime i visit they argue. Also he has started pulling her up for her slobiness when im not there. I chuckle everytime he tells me his issues with her.

Roll on the day she moves out or when he finally wakes up and kicks her out. Then maybe we can have a proper relationship again and live together.

Monchichi's picture

A generation of children are being raised to believe they are adults equal. They do not need to respect their parents and demand that their parents behave as a friend or acquaintance and not as a traditional parent would or a strict parent. Their love is their commodity or bargaining tool.

Jzell67's picture

Well looks like I'm being blamed for being rude in the first place..apparently because I called him out for his arrogance and the fact he takes over everything in the house. It's where they grew up so their Terrotorial apparently ....

I've packed a bag and will be removing myself for a few days to get some head space. Unfortunately due to the financial situation with my partner and her severe anxiety I feel stuck here. Why did I move in.....FML

Jzell67's picture

Not home yet but soon. I do try to hold my ground but it all gets too much.

My partner had a child, 8yo, that passed away while staying at the Nan's place,. She was their because there was a lot of conflict between the child and my partners ex (complete looney tunes etc).They were trying to sort things out for the better when the child was hit by a drunk driver.

My partner has forever lived with the guilt and now understandably is protective to the max but is also an enabler of there dysfunctional behavior.

If feel sorry for my partner as she must feel history is repeating itself. This is a no win situation for anyone. She must hate me for putting her back into the past.

Jzell67's picture

Thanks Sally. I understand what your saying but my partner feels she chose her ex over her child. I'm not sure the living arrangements but the child was at school while at the Nan's so it was semi permanent.

Anyway back to the present..... Returned home yesterday and things were ok between myself and my partner. I can tell this is all taking a toll on her.We have a holiday overseas in October and it can't come to soon....

She has spoken to them and told them both that all she wants is peace in her home again and that they need to respect me (not that I asked that) as I am her partner. They're playing the 'were your sons card," and they know what works with her. It's all about the guilt factor. They have been taught well by the ex who was a master manipulator and still is to this day. They are not happy and mumblings of getting out by Xmas have been heard. I'll see it when I believe it.

We'll see what the next games are to be played. I'm amazed that if a man spoke the words to his partner that have been spoken to me (I'm going to kick your fuckin head in and go fuck yourself) it's domestic violence. But they do it to me and it's justified? What a whacked way of thinking. If I said that to my partner Id get the boot out the front door.... And so I should.

I'm the target practice for them. I'll see who shoots next. They'll miss this target, I'll make sure of that. }:)

SugarSpice's picture

adult sd in her 20s told me to go to hell to my face. i asked her when she was moving out.

thankfully dh located his testicles and supported me in this. she had a living situation figured out in 20 minutes moving in with as friend.

Jzell67's picture

Highlight of my day was listening to my partner lay down the law with her 21yo.

She wants him to remove his heavy boxes off the top of a cupboard. He doesn't have "time" apparently.

She said that's fine either you move it or I will and you won't like it if I do it. (Insert large smirk from me)...

Isn't it amazing that when it's important to the parent they can toughen up and not be a Disney mum..... Go figure....

SugarSpice's picture

my adult sd about the same age said that to my face. it was at that time that i asked her to move our of the house. she had been living with dh and me while going to college. bm kicked her out of the house after she turned 18. i can have sympathy for a skid fresh out of high school with no where to go, but that sympathy ends with the disrespect.

adult ss needs to be shown the door.