What would you do?
So BM starts being super nice the past couple weeks, agreeing to do a parenting plan without having to resort to attorneys, gave us SS for thanksgiving, thanked me for sending the kids Halloween treat baskets, ect.
I thought something was up, but I just hoped she was being nice because she realized that SS needs his father, and that I'm not going anywhere. Well turns out it was neither of those things. She applied at the same company that SO works for, and wants to use him as a reference so she's more likely to get the job. We live in a different state so they would never work together, which is the only reason SO is considering this. Also he gets a thousand dollar bonus for referring a new manager.
I told him he should wait until we get all the paperwork signed and filed, then give her the reference so we can have the extra money. But what would you do? BM and I's history makes me want to say "Go 'F' yourself" but then again an extra $1000 right before the holidays wouldn't hurt either...
That's what I'm worried about
That's what I'm worried about too, but we won't know if she'll do it until we try. I just don't trust her with a ten foot pole, and she's lazy; I don't want it to reflect poorly on SO.
I asked my DH this question.
I asked my DH this question. He would wait until the paperwork is signed and filed to give a reference.
I asked mine and he said
I asked mine and he said 'hell no!' - he would never help BM with ANYTHING. Not in a million years.
Lol, that was our first
Lol, that was our first reaction too, until we remembered the $1000 bonus..
I just don't know if forgetting all the evil shit she's done and said is worth selling out for $1000, but then again it's not my job to resent her, it's SO's.
Thatonegirl, I think you
Thatonegirl, I think you said it yourself, selling out for a $1000. This $1000 may turn out to be a double edged sword. Clearly she is manipulative enough to play nice to work you and your husband. When she gets what she wants, she will have no further need to play nice. Worse still, what if she gets into your SO's place of employment and starts spreading rumours about him. It would not matter if this was a Global Company, that kind of stuff gets around. I would not be taking the chance. If you do, get those papers signed first. But be aware she may very well cost your husband his job.
Take the money out of the
Take the money out of the equation. Would your SO give her a reference if their was no monetary incentive to do so?
Never ever never. I refused
Never ever never. I refused to be my sister's reference when she tried to get a job at the same company I was working at (different location). I had an EXCELLENT reputation at work and my bosses loved me. My sister is not very responsible and I didn't want to risk what I had worked SO hard for just to have my sister start getting lazy and then everyone say, oh that is YSM's sister and gave her a great reference. If your BM starts to bring her crazy to work it is going to go very badly for your DH and I don't thinbk $1000 is worth it.