My DH and I have been married 29 years, together 32 years. In late July of last year we had a family crisis that resulted from my DH sending an email to his ex-wife (a lesbian...from his 2nd marriage) letting her know that she would no longer be welcome at family functions at our home and that we wanted to limit any further contact with her (yes, her inclusion was a very recent phenomenon, resulting from our moving to this area about 3 years ago to be closer to the youngest BD of the 2nd wife. My DH's BD (from his 1st marriage) and family (spouse, daughter 13, and son were due to arrive toward the end of the month, and because of several incidents we did not want my DH's family, especially the 13 year old daughter, exposed to this woman (we feel she is a sexual predator). The end result was that the ex-wife sent the email to DH's oldest daughter,(the BD of the les.), and the wife of the son from the 1st marriage, the BD from the 1st marriage, the les' mother, the BD's mother-in-law, and the lesbians' new lover. Well, all hell broke loose, with emails flying between all of them, except the mother-in-law of the les' BD, who agreed that we had the right to exclude the woman from gatherings. The long shot is that the daughter from the 1st marriage has not walked away from us, but the BD of the Les BM, and the BS from the 1st marriage have been alienated from us since that time. The dear wife of the BS has played a pivotal role in all of this, stirring the pot on numerous occasions. Finally, we wrote to the BS and asked that he try to resume relations with us. He agreed, provided we agree to family therapy. It was our understanding (incorrectly) that any therapy would only include my DH, myself, and the 3 of his children, but starting with his children one at a time and then all together. So, last week we get an email from the son saying that his wife (52)had found a therapist (one tht she used with her parents...no, the BS (45) was not included her therapy session with her parents), and that this wife would be included in the initial therapy sessions. Well, my DH and I are balking at the idea. This is a short story of a long and sad sitation. Any advice out there? I can shed more light if necessary.