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Christmas Gifts for Estranged/Alienated Stepchildren

ziggyhi's picture

For those of you who are estranged/alienated from your ADULT stepchildren, do you continue to give them Christmas gifts and/or birthday gifts? What about the grandchildren that these ADULT skids refuse to let us see.......still send gifts and/or cards? I think that sending a card for the occasion would be fine, but would you draw the line on continuing the gift giving even though the adult skids refuse to communicate with you, much less see you. Any advice/experience with these issues?

Most Evil's picture

I personally, am of the opinion, that if you do not see someone on Christmas Day, and they are the kind that only receive gifts and do not give them, then I do not get that person a present, including SD18 since she began abusing her dad. I currently have an exception for my siblings but am working on that too since they basically have abandoned my parents and it is all very fake to me.

But then I come from a very large family where we would all go broke acknowledging every occasion for every person, although some still try for that.

It has only been one year that SD has gotten no gifts from me, but I think she is trying now to stay in the game by calling her dad more often now (she had treated him horribly for years including cursed at him, hung up and did not call for months prior, plus every single time he calls SD he is cussed out by BM who supposedly takes the phone out of SD's hand). Plus we are invited to graduation which makes me very happy for DH. So I think there is some improvement on SD's part but am leaving all her gifts up to DH to choose and pay for, from now on.

But I again personally do not believe in sending gifts if the person cannot fit you in on the actual holiday (unless they caused your existance ie. parents or are soldiers in a war, etc.). Times are too hard and society is too materially minded, so to me the greatest gift is to not reward bad behavior. Phone calls and acknowledgements are gifts too, that anyone can afford.

So I would get them exactly what they get you. That includes the kids, its a shame, but maybe their parents will realize, they are hurting their own kids by feuding with you.
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"What luck for rulers that men do not think."
Adolf Hitler (1889 - 1945)

vgill's picture

A card would be fine to let them know that you are thinking of them and that you wish them the best! And maybe a Christmas photo!
don't get into the practice of buying gifts, feal friends and family don't care if they recieve gifts as long as they can spend some time together!!

adam001's picture

Now a day, I watch all over the world gifts are selling more for giving gifts to friends, elders and children. I always like to give gifts on these types of occasions, if you can buy easily wholesale gifts on cheap prices then it's ok otherwise i will suggest to send cards for any type of occasions.