Does Anyone Share Info About Adult SK's They Read Here With DH?
Forums:
Just curious.
I've shared a couple with DH and he can clearly laugh out loud and see the absurdity (Ex: The woman married 5 months and at her reception dance/song the SD cut in, is one that comes to mind), however, he cannot see the absurdity in colluding with SD, and providing her with intimate details of our marriage.
i have
I’ve shared a few stories. Also I posted here awhile back re SS refusing to launch and DH enabling the situation and I read him some of the advice but said it was a story similar to our situation. (What a coincidence!) He liked some of the advice.
Not recently, but in the past
Not recently, but in the past I have - just to demonstrate to him that SKID issues are very common - and that there are ways of addressing things which may not have occurred to him. On the whole he has changed for the better in that he doesn't tolerate the crap he used to from his daughters. He is no longer a Disney Dad and he understands what he and the SDs put me through in years gone by. That is all I can ask, really.
Congratulations, Kes!
Sounds like you've made great progress. (bowing multiple times and clapping)
Occasionally I might vaguely
Occasionally I might vaguely mention something I've read here. I don't want him finding my secret outlet!
Mostly, in anger, I've told him the way I feel is not unusual -- there are SMs all over the world questioning their role and how to approach it.
Marblefawn, You're Another Whose Posts I Look Forward To
They are always level headed, well organized and well thought out.
I hear ya. I don't say "where" but just elude to it being a support group online. It does help to see his shock at some of the situations, as he will even admit to the craziness of ours with SD, though it doesn't change his feelings for her, though she completely disrespects him/us/our marriage.
Thanks, Miss Texas -- writing
Thanks, Miss Texas -- writing does level me out!
I recently had a rare flap with my best friend. My husband asked why I don't just call to talk with her about it. I told him when I write, I have a chance to edit anything that might come across as hard or edgy -- because I was feeling my friend was putting a lot of blame on me for a miscommunication that hurt her feelings.
My girlfriend and I smoothed it out by email and when we talked, it was as if it never happened. It felt good that we could work through and past something that might have been blown up.
I have told him some stories,
I have told him some stories, always praying he doesn't investigate further. The only thing I really share with him are horror stories of skids worse than mine, or the way some DH's react to things. When I'm upset about something skids have done I have tried the "I'm not the only one that feels this way" tactic, and referenced others here feeling the same, but he doesn't want to hear any of that, so that was a fail.
Yes, but my step issues are
Yes, but my step issues are minor and DH backs me 100%. I started posting and reading on StepTalk almost 8 years (and 3 usernames) ago partly as a preventative measure because I had extremely limited experience with step families (all very negative). I had googled "New Stepmom" and ended up here after the happy-happy-joy-joy step sites were so wholly unlike what I was experiencing from BM. I learned from everyone here and have avoided many pitfalls because of it.
My DH knows I post, knows the site, and has my permission to read anything I post. If I see something that relates to us I'll bring it up and we discuss it. He's actually offered to have a man-to-man "chat" with some of the idiot DHs on here who think enabling=love.
DW knows nothing about this
DW knows nothing about this site to my knowledge, I never sign in at home ( G@@gle History ) and I never share anything I have read here, although many times I would like too, I have wondered what she would think if she read alot of the stories on here, would she see herself in them, would she realize the mistakes she has made or would she not see any of it?
My H has no idea that I post
My H has no idea that I post on this site. Its a little something that I want to keep to myself as its a positive outlet and helps me a great deal. I do enjoy reading the different stories and dynamics of the various blended step families on here and very grateful that my situation is not as bad as many that I have on StepTalk.
I've also learned a lot of terms and meanings to different behaviors and the reasons why certain issues exist. This site is truly a blessing for me and I'm grateful for everyone who contributes.
I periodically share some
I periodically share some STalker stuff with my wife. The stuff that bothers me she gets down right red faced angry about.
The stuff I laugh at ... she gives an "Oh my gawd!" over.
We are fortunate that our drama was not generally Skid related and that we were able to work as a team to keep the SpermClan in check.
She has known about my time on SParent on line communities since I first ventured into this world more than 10 years ago. It is my place to escape and participate though. She has not ventured into the environment beyond when I share something with her IRL.
Sharing with DH
I have only shared with DH a couple of times and it seemed to help him see the situation from another angle. The words didn't come out of my mouth so it was easier for him to understand. I remember when I first joined this group. I had tried for decades to convince DH that our marriage was first priority but he just couldn't;t seem to absorb the concept. Then I shared a post from Rags and the light went on.
This site had been a God-send. My Sister even insisted "Children come first" until I reminded her that the situation with SD was very similar with the one she had with her MIL. Sometimes it just takes a different approach to get through.