Cleaning Up After Grown "kids" and Grandkids
To begin with, I used to be all in on anything and everything. As the years clicked by, and circumstances presented themselves, I decided to use my time and talents elsewhere.
I have been raised in a step-family situation. My BM was divorced multiple times.
Several years ago and older step-brother resurfaced in my life, and we were both glad about the reunion. He was 7 years older than me and we never lived under the same roof. He's always been a tell-it-like-it-is, very unpolished but fiercely devoted and loyal to those he loves and cares for. A biker type with a rebel streak a mile long. I enjoy his presence.
So DH's grown kids and grandkids visit whenever they want. They never hear the word "NO." EVER. One week-end they had been here, and normally DH is meticulous about cleaning up the guest house after them: doing the laundry (sheets/towels) and making sure A/C, heat are turned off and trash is removed. You are reading that correctly, daddeee is cleaniup up after 50+ year old people and their kids.
Well, as fate would have it, daddee missed the trash. Since I no longer take part in this ritual, I didn't make a walk through before my step-brother came for a visit.
When he showed up for breakfast the next morning, I asked how he slept, if he found everything alright. He said everything was great, and was very impressed that I gave him the best pillows from our home, and went to the linen closet to get him a fresh pillow case. He commented several times how I treated him like a king, and he felt so welcome and invited. As we were finishing breakfast, he says, "I didn't want to mention this while we were eating, but SOMEONE left a big o'l bloody Kotex in the batrhoom trash can, face up and man, was it ripe!" I was so upset. Even though is he is an easy going guy, it was somwhat embarassing. He told me not to worry about it, everything else had been excellent, and he took the trash out and would take it and dispose of it with his trash. Someone was raised right, cleaning up after THEMSELVES.
I mentioned this to DH and I was upset with his response. "I should've walked through and taken care of that." I told him, "No, the grandchild, or her PARENT should teach her (1.) how to dispose of her used sanitary products (2.) make sure it is taken care of and disposed of upon their departure. DH kept saying he needed to have cleaned up after them better, to which I reiterated my response, and how upsetting it was that MY COMPANY had to deal with it because of THEIR negligence, and entiteled expectation daddee would take care of it, because he always does. I told him he needed to tell his child to be sure to clean up after the kids. He kept insisting HE SHOULD HAVE DONE IT. Then he screams at me out of nowhere, "YOU'RE DRIVING ME F***ING INSANE." Really? All because I expect adults to clean up after themselves and their kids?
How would you have handled this, without getting back into the routine of cleaning up after them, (as I did FOR MANY YEARS)?