DH and I are going to couples counseling Thursday
So we are going to a couselor that DH found through the church. I am very nervous. We have been to couples counseling before. It was not a good experience. Couselor said that if I had a problem with Skids that is my problem not DH’s. That I need to deal with it. He said DH should not be put in the middle. He totally blew off anything about me being abused and bullied for 15 years. He totally gave DH a free pass and said that DH should do what ever he wanted with his kids and if I didn’t like it I should learn to suck it up.
He gave DH a free pass to gaslight me and put the blame totally on my shoulders with DH or Skids not accountable for anything.
I went though hell. I finally am sticking up for myself. I I talked to a couselor on my own. He said That I have been psychologically abused and bullied for 15 years. It was not my imagination like the other counselor tried to make it.
I have picked myself off the ground. The book healing from hidden abuse felt like it was written about my life in stephood hell. Finally there was a Name for what had been done to me. Finally I could see that I have been suffering as a victim of abuse. The book totally explained exactly what my feeling were. That it is normal feeling when you have been abused. I now know that I was abused very badly.
I am scared that this will just be another couselor that puts the blame on the abused. That I should have never expected the skids to accept me. That they were a happy little unit with DH before I came along and they came first so I should be fine with being a priority below them. Once again having to defend myself for being abused. Once again for being made to feel sick and weak for being abused. That trying to break up our marriage is the Skids jobs. So it is all OK. Justifying abuse and abusers.
Dh’s goal Is to fix it so I am OK with it. That they aren’t going to stop so I have to just get to the point that I can except that. They will always try to break up my marriage.
How do you become OK with something that doesn’t stop? They haven’t stopped trying to break up our marriage, they have increased their efforts. SD has ramped up her games. How do you heal from abuse when it doesn’t stop?