are we being used or am I just being selfish?
ASD lives with her husband two stepGK 350 mile away. I am retired, SO is still working out of necessity. ASD thinks it is acceptable to ask her father to take time off of work (min. of 3 days off) and come to her home to babysit anytime they have an event to go to that requires an over night stay for the two of them. I understand my SO wanting to see his grands and try not to point out to him the expense we take on for these trips but I am growing quite resentful.
ASD has not invited us for a vacation visit when they are at home. Only invites are for our child care services. When they come to our area they stop by our house one time for 3-4 hours per trip. Otherwise they stay with her BM. They have visited us at our cabin (more appropriately they vacationed there while we foot the bill and did the work) twice. They have never taken us out to eat, brought in any food, washed a dish etc. Which all leads me to the feeling that I wouldn't feel so used for the care giving trips if we were treated more like a family and less like free help.
I don't want to go with SO because I end up doing the cooking, cleaning, and care giving and resent every minute of it. Am I just being selfish or are we genuinely being taken advantage here?