Yes though I would also check whether there is not another aspect to it. A lot of these guys feel guilty and then create this unhealthy codependence that is not as creepy as it appears. However it is awful parenting. We are all agreeing about that. Often the SDs end up thinking of themselves as all powerful mini-wives.

It is not nice. I feel for you. Also with a toddler and pregnant it is not like you are foot-loose and fancy free to feel in a good position to complain.

If it does not upset you I agree with Dreamy30 you need to give him a cold sharp awakening.

She wanted him to spend the night at the hotel with her and he was happy to leave his pregnant wife home alone while he did that . Then when that plan got foiled they came up with a new one, he goes interstate. You won't be able to pull the blankets from under them last minute on that one will you. Good plan.

Look emotional incest is incest too. It is a seriously unhealthy relationship between usually a father and his daughter and it is WRONG plain WRONG.

If you aren't sure if something he does is right or wrong, just look to yourself for the answers, would you do it with your dad. Would you for example ask your dad to spend the night in a hotel with you and leave his pregnant young wife at home. Is that a perfectly healthy normal father daughter activity.

So, you happened to get sick, what she couldn't come over and visit at your plce with daddy for a couple of hours. Could she have stayed the night at your house perhaps. What was the desire to be 'alone' with daddy in a hotel at night all night about.

By the way, you don't need to stress or focus too much on what she wants, you need to be more concered on what your husband does. You have enough on your plate. don't make this about you and her, or her and him. You are only spoiling for a fight. Make it about you and your husband, about his responsibility towards you during your pregnancy and towards this baby. No one should if it can at all be avoided leave their preganant wife at home alone all night. If you have to you have to, things happen. But to make a deliberate choice to leave your wife and spend the night with another woman using the excuse she is my daughter that's not on. If she is his daughter then he needs to stay out hotel rooms with her. Can't have it both ways.

I'm agreeing with StepAside. When this girl gets married I think this relationship will loosen up a lot.

I'm curious if this behavoir is limited to divorced fathers who are/were non-custodial?

I'd be guessing non custodial. These women are to high maintenance to be living with 24/7 which explains THEIR future relationship failures. Thanks daddy

Well, my ex was non - custodial EOW and he would sleep in one bedroom with his daughter 12 at the time. The excuse he gave me is that she misses him and does not see him that often. He never saw anything wrong with it , thought it was cute and said I overreacted.His daughter is tall and developed and people think she is 16 . He never saw anything wrong with her sleeping in his bedroom while I was not allowed to step into his bedroom in his mother`s house because we were only engaged and not married. His mother was afraid that this will be inappropriate. Excuse me christian woman but what you approve of , namely your son sleeping with his daughter in one bedroom is appropriate?
So yes, religion and christian values can be used as weapon and manipulated as everybody wishes to manipulate them.A year later I found skype messages that his daughter still wants and nags and wants to sleep in his bedroom. I do not know whether he allowed her to sleep in his bedroom. I was completely disengaged and stopped going to his mother `s house to visit his daughter and his family.
At the end he chose the unhealthy emotional incest relationship with his daughter and hurt me badly. I walked away so that he can focus on his daughter.
I guess reading your post reminds me that some people never change. I would not be surprised if your husband did what my ex did when his daughter was young. If that was happening then and he never changed it then probably he will never change it . My ex told me that things will not change and basically take it or leave it.
I am simply sharing my experience and I hope that can help you in some way. I know that it is difficult to navigate these situations and you start to doubt your own instincts and ideas about what is right.
Focus on yourself and your beautiful children and provide a healthy , nurturing upbringing for them.

Sorry, very, very sorry, but experience tells me Saffron is right. My SD tried everything for 7 solid years to get her daddy back. Made my life a living hell, and I mean that. At the 7 year mark she suddenly became accidentally pregnant. Yeah right. She was in fact breeding in her mind a weapon to get her daddy back, the baby in her uterus Sure enough when it was born the smug faced little piece of work sent orders via boyfriend. If daddy wants to see his new grandchild then he must leave his wife. That was the end. I banned get from my home and will never have her back. He has still not seen his grandchild.

This I don't think ever ends. Not when they are this bad and their daddies do nothing to stop it and everything to encourage it.

These girls had daddy first, he's theirs and they are never letting go. Just ask them.

Agreed once they get married they have G-kids as further ammunition to wrap daddy around their finger and never let them go. It actually escalates later on. I speak from painful experience of this and wish I had seen the writing on the wall years ago. Try to get your DH to attend counselling with you to see how unhealthy and stressful this situation is on your marriage and on your new babies. Daddy needs to focus on his immediate nuclear family - NOT grown SD who should be starting a life on her own with appropriate boundaries.