Adult kids ruining my marriage any advice?
My wife is divorcing me due to arguing over kids.the first time it was her 21 year old son.he decided to quit college.he found a great paying job out of state.after working only 6 months just decided to quit for no good reason.asked to stay with us till he got situated.he had 20,000 from working.he was allowed to stay in our home (by my wife) for 2 years and blow whole 20,000 while living off us.he contributed nothing to our home.caused a lot of problems between me n my wife.i expressed my concerns numerous times.it was either her way or no way at all.now the problem is she has a 19 year old daughter who has moved back in w us after only living on her own for about 3 months .while gone she quit college to pay bills because her sorry bf wouldn't keep a job.she has lived off us 7 months.does not contribute to the house financially at all.she blows all of her money week to week on cellphones hair does,clothes etc.she only has 3 bills of her own.car note,insurance,cellphone .since living w us has gotten a credit card and maxed it out .no money saved or no future plans to be on her on.i calmly tried to discuss how I felt for 4 months to my wife.i was ignored and my feelings were never considered.i finally had enough and blew up!!!!i went off.i was never treated as her equal in my own home.i spoiled her and that's what I got.i work full time,cooked,cleaned and did everything I could to put her first.now she's divorcing me because I blew up arguing over her kids.i feel like her kids wants were put before me and our marriage
How long have you been
How long have you been married? Unless this could really nail you financially, I'd say good riddance to her.
Married her twice.only
Married her twice.only married this time little over a year.i should've learned the first time I'd be a last priority.im sure it'll bite her more than me
I love kids,hell I have grown
I love kids,hell I have grown kids.i just hate the things she think are exceptable in our home
Even if you love kids; love
Even if you love kids; love your own and don't engage with steps. I love kids too.
We've been married 36 years. I lost both my sons in an auto accident several years ago; they were teens. All I have is my skids and I enjoy them, except SD56 has always been jealous and hates me; I disengaged from her and my SGD31 (mother/daughter) seven years ago. They have tried relentlessly to break up DH and my marriage.
The only advice I have is "house rules" and an "agreement to enforce them". Hopefully you will move forward from this bad situation. Next time, if you marry or live with someone with kids, I would set some boundaries for everyone and keep your distance from engagement with Skids. Keep your finances separate, and let Mom take care of their $$$$ needs, just so it don't involve you. Also, don't do cooking, housework, and all the chores for them, let them do it or they move out; set these boundaries ahead. I would look for someone whose kids are independent and not dependent.
Luckily I never had skids living with us, all three were independent; except YSS52 spent 15 years in prison, for continuous petty theft over several years; my DH did cut the purse strings when he came 18. So it is difficult for me to give advice in this area. Good Luck with a positive future.
Scout out the future situations extensively.
Thanks.all she sees is I
Thanks.all she sees is I finally had enough of being ignored and went off.she doesn't see anything wrong with what she was doing.yes I was wrong for loosing my cool but enough was enough.im all for helping your kids but there's a difference between helping and enabling
Call me wrong for it but I
Call me wrong for it but I feel screwed I'm ran out of a house I helped pay for and adult kids are more entitled than I am and never done crap but take advantage.when we were divorced the first time her 21 yr old son slept w a 13 n 14 year old in the house while she was asleep and still was allowed to live there.makes no sense
Good riddens to her, you need
Good riddens to her, you need to move on alone or with someone healthy, they will still be there sponging off her ss check when she is old. I personally have no problem with many generations living together at any age, but there has to be respect and mutual responsiblity
We were married twice.first
We were married twice.first time I walked away w nothing by my choice.she bought the house maybe 6 months before we got married the first time.now I have added a storage shed to the property and closed in the carport to add 400 square foot to the house this time.she has a temporary order to stay in the house.
If your name is not on the
If your name is not on the house, cut your loses and don't look back.
If your name is on the property, it can be sold and split.
Don't worry about what you
Don't worry about what you may be losing as far as the house goes. Your sanity and peace is worth FAR MORE.