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Hubby doesn't like the way I parent SD's but keeps leaving them in my care!

scarpetta's picture

You would think that if your husband keeps leaving (more like dumping them on me) his daughers with me, he would be more understanding when discipline is necessary. I will not allow skids to be unruly in my house, not only for their own safety, but because they cannot be allowed to break house rules. Every time I tell my SD's to do something or NOT to do something they get upset and somehow it gets back to my husband ~ but conveniently for my SD's, there's a whole new spin on the situation that paints me like a monster and them as angels who are being victimized! I finally told my husband that if he doesn't like the way I take care of his kids, then he can take care of them himself. He can't, of course, because he works long hours. He also doesn't want his EX to find out that the time he's supposed to spend with his children is actually time they spend with ME. I have 4 years left until they're both completely moved out. Yeah!!

WTHDISUF's picture

To heck with that. Stop watching them anyway. Mean it when you say it and let DH figure out how to make sure they have a Sitter if he can't adjust his work hours. He'd have to do that if you weren't around so he can do it now vs taking for granted that you'll not only watch his brats during what is supposed to be HIS time with them AND demanding that you treat them with kid gloves or else... I had to do this with DH and now he has to take time off when he wants to have that brat of someone elses that he claims as his own.

Soulglow's picture

Omg I love this saying.
My happiness is my responsibility. Your kid is your responsibility.

Disneyfan's picture

Wow,I'm surprised the girls haven't told their mom that they are with you instead of dad.

BM gets a detailed report of everything that goes on when SDs are with us. LOL

scarpetta's picture

Fortunately husband has the balls to at least tell the girls that whatever happens at our house stays at our house and if their mother calls him about something they've said, they get in trouble for it. Serves them right!!

giveitago's picture

Yeah, that happened me too. On one occasion DH took them to work with him, he's a contracter, and they broke the windshield on the van! Next day I called BM and told her to come get her brats because I had a migraine. Not dealing with them! The difference being that they were dumped on me...I guess...just because? Not happening!
Yes indeed, the tittle tattle made me out the bad guy.
What struck me is that they have the respect/fear not to say anything to their mom but they do not do as he says for you? I'd be chatting with him and saying there needs to be much more respect or he will see a lot less of his cherubs.

IronRose's picture

If you only have 4 years left, why do they need supervision? Are they completely irresponsible?

If he dosn't like how you do things, then he can find someone else to watch them for free. Like his mother. OR just not take them if he cant spend time with them. BM will find out, and will not be good for your DH.

If I were you, I'd be conveneintly busy EOW, or whenever... }:)

keepingitreal's picture

They are 14? Yeah, normally I believe when you marry a person with kids you make a choice to be a parent, good bad n ugly...but at 14 either Dad needs to ALLOW you to parent when they are there or tell them, sorry working..they arent babies and should be respectfull in ANY house they are in, let alone one of their parents. If Dad refuses to enforce respect for you as stepmom...then I'd hate to see how they are at friends be quite ashamed of it.

Mommy92912's picture

My step daughter is so completely annoying . i cant stand when she comes over . Her mother is horrible and doesnt even bother to give her a bath ( shes 5 ) . when shes here shes loud , Throws temper tantrums when we tell her no . She runs in her room slams the door and starts screaming and crying like a baby . Me and my husband have a 5 month old. She always comes over and get our daughter sick . Every time without fail . We had her one time for visitation she made a claim that her mothers boyfriend hits her . SO we withheld her and called CPS and the police . before all the she would come back with marks on her . We also put her in kindergarten. The court gave her mother temp custody and now shes coming over this weekend and i am dreading it . Her mother doesn't discipline . My husband talks in this very soft voice and says to his 5 year old . you cant do that okkkkkkk .. ITS SO ANNOYING !!! . i dont know what to do anymore . Everytime i try to say something to him about it . He rolls his eyes and tells me i am too hard on her . When she does something bad i put her in time out . One time i had to tell her 2398573498 millon times to leave the babies toys ALONE !! Then she ended up breaking it and i only had to tell my nephew 1 time to leave it alone and he came outta the room and told me she broke it and brought me in the room and showed me . My husbands 5 year old was hiding under her blanket . I took the blanket off and spanked her and sat her in time out until bedtime . She also fights bed time . I AM SOO FRUSTRATED . i really dont know anymore

Mommy92912's picture

Her mother doesnt work with her . she cant put her shoes on by herself, a coat , tie shoes . She expects everyone to do everything for her . when she doesnt get her way she runs in her room and cries and waits for my husband to go in there and pick her up .

realtalk's picture

Know your rights!!!
You do not have to watch HIS children, I dont care what he says or she says. You have NO legal or financial responsibilty to HIS children. Look at it like this you have no more responsibility for them than a teacher, sunday school teacher, or coach. Your job is to KNOW your role and to hold the daddy responsible for his children in your home. STAND YOUR GROUND.

betterdaysahead12's picture

He leaves keeps dumping them on you because it's more convenient for him. He has no where else to take them unless they go back to their mother's house. My situation is diff from yours, however, I know the feeling of trying to discipline in your own house and DH doesn't like it. Well then stop leaving them with me. I can't stand stomping, whining, screaming and not listening to anything I say. So yes, you are going in timeout and stay there until your dad comes home. Ugggggggh, i don't like my skids at all. If they listened to me and their father more I would feel a lot better about them. That's a whole other issue about parenting your children, but the fact of the matter is that if DH has to work or other things to run out too even if it's only to go get gas, they are in the house with me. I can't deal with it anymore.

Hurricane180's picture

Dayum.... your story just smacked reality right in my face! I know exactly what to say to him now even from just reading!