An outrageous scene today - now how to disengage when my BD's are close to SD's
I have 3 SD's who are 30 and 26 x 2. Their BM was not interested so we had full custody and I put everythign into my SD's when they were younger. However the oldest never accepted me marrying her Dad and the younger ones eventually were poisened by her and now they all hate me with a passion. For no reason other than me marrying their Dad.
Our situation is complex but to try to explain it briefly, my youngest BD 12 has some pretty severe mental health issue which are spirralling out of control. The SD's have been helping with the situation. It has been very hard for all of us and is severely impacting everyone. My DH is not coping at all, he looks about ready to have a breakdown. So today my husband snapped and lost it completely, I was at work and he called to say I had to come get her, which I did drop everything and met them at home. However SD was also there and went psycho at me, screaming at me 3 separate times whilst DH and I tried to help my daughter, saying awful things like that this is all my fault, I have caused this whole situation and given my BD mental health issues, calling me the C word repeatedly and a whole range of other vile things. Screaming in my face. I didn't have a go back at her, I'm not going down to her low level. She was like a crazy maniac. I have never been abused like this in my life. Then later sends me a nasty text saying that I have given all 3 SD's, my 2 BD's and my DH mental health issues, saying I am the saddest excuse for a human being and that I only think of myself. It was all so vile and nasty. I didn't respond. She loves to blame me for litterally everything but honestly I think the reason 2 of the SD's do have mental health issues is cos their own mother walked out on them. The 3rd SD does not have issues (and nor does my other BD) and is actually nice but sides with her sisters on all this. I just try to be nice all the time and don't know what I have done to deserve this!
Anyway this is all absolutely appalling and I am still in shock about what happened today. My DH will address this with her, but basically if he lays down the law with her all 3 SD's will turn on him and he doesn't want to lose them all. He's also in no state to do this currently. I would not be willing to cut my own daughters out of my life for a partner.
So basically I never want to see SD30 again. She is the same SD that didn't invite me to her wedding, which i wrote about in another recent post. I will totally disengage. However my BD's very are close to my SD's, the SD's have always doted on them. How do I disengage and never see her again? I guess I will have to see her at things like my DH's birthday and Christmas, But how do I handle my BD's birthday's, as they will want her to be there?