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Same Crap Every Year.. Fed UP!

pullingmyhairoutinBC's picture
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Just like every other year... it is a fight to get the BM's tax returns. We need these to be able to come up with our court case to once again try to get rid of the alimony. 7 years so far and what is she doing to support herself? 4 hours a day job at a school which you know doesn't pay much, as well is closed during summer holidays, easter, thanksgiving, christmas... Pro D days, etc... We are so angry because the court system fails us every time!

Everyone tells us " get a lawyer " .. we sure could, if we had the money! where is the money? going to alimony!! Stupid circle and we are the ones getting beat by it.

I have done all of the paperwork 2x now for him to goto court. She keeps it a closed case so as not to allow me in there... fear? definately. I am quite outspoken and do not fear her or a judge. I would honest and have all of my truthful facts straight. She wouldnt be able to squirm as well with me there.

So... she has her real estate license, as well as her securities license. She could be making double to triple what my husband makes easily. She chooses not to work. Funny how she can choose that, yet he cant choose not to pay her! Double Standards. She said the kids need her with them when they arent in school. Oldest is 14, done the babysitting course, completed the first aid course and is always out with friends and no parental supervision. The other is 11 and sadly still sleeps with "mommy" every night! The children are not a valid excuse. They are not babies anymore.

We have never disputed the child support.. they are his children. We have disputed the visitation. Every other weekend is what the court has ordered. We have not seen the kids on a regular basis in 4 years. She has tried numerous time to get full custody, but fails. He fights every week to see his children but they are so brainwashed that they wont even answer the phone. His 14 year old daughter only calls when she needs his wallet. It breaks my heart to see him so sad. My own daughter from divorce lives with me full time because her dad lives in the USA. But their relationship is super strong because that is what she needs. I do my best for her. She has bonded with her SD now and I'm glad he has her to enjoy. I just wish his own children wouldn't be missing out so much because of an unbalanced HAP ex. In case you are unaware of what an HAP is (hostile aggressive parenting) here is a link. and this is EXACTLY who the BM is !
http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/

So we live in BC... can anyone suggest to me a really masterful family law laywer that will work with your budget ?
Any tips on how to prove she is purposefully working beneath her level?
I think her having her real estate license and securities licence her income should be imputed at $50,000 ... what do you think?

She claims her living cost for her and her 2 children is $100,000 .. ??!?!? it blows my mind !

We live below poverty level ourselves at approximately $32,000 and that is check to check.

HOW do we get this alimony stopped !??!?!?!

THANK YOU

StickAFork's picture

Is there any reason you think her having a higher income will automatically affect alimony?
Does the divorce decree address when alimony is to stop?

Honestly, if you say you're not afraid of her or the judge and you're outspoken, it's probably best for your DH that you not attend.

pullingmyhairoutinBC's picture

I dont plan on attentending.. but english is his 2nd language and she talks all over him.

She is now CEO of her own company... she also has used his past company on her resume where she had zero to do with it.
"Change your attitude to a more positive one" i, personally, have zero interaction with her.. yet her every email to him is talking about me.. that i'm a drug addict, a psychotic.. a satanist, etc... has taught their children these things.. to the fact that one came over and saaid " mom said you are going to marry daddy and after a few years divorce him and take all of our money" .. that's pretty extreme... i am the one to constantly encourage him to reach out to his kids.. to take them out.. or if they come here.. i remove myself from it because i want him and his children to really enjoy their time one on one...

now my SD is attacking my own daughter via facebook.... saying she must have been born in a road because that is where all accidents happen, etc... i have blocked her.. but still.. such anger to be put on a child that has never said a bad word about anyone is incredulous.

"the new BC spousal support rules are on self sufficiency that allows each party to finally go their separate ways. "
"The summary paper goees on to state that the new Family law Act retains the self-sufficiency obligation by providing, as an objective, that a spouse becomes self-sufficient in a reasonable period of time. This, in conjunction with the ability provided in section 166 to consider misconduct that prolongs or aggravates the need for spousal support, ensures that the recipient of support must make reasonable efforts to reduce the need for support."

so ya.. her supporting herself is a huge deal... it was only an 8 year marriage.. she cannot remain in his pocket forever. he has health issues and is struggling a daily basis in massive pain... his own specialist has told him he can no longer work in his profession or end up in a wheel chair... BM's response to that was " good.. go in a wheelchair.. go on disability... i will just take my money from that"

her lack of empathy... her total psychosis and greed...her not understanding by refusing the kids to have a relationship with a father that loves them dearly will have reprecussions beyond imaginable.

the entire thing is sickening and stressful...
we really try to treat my SK's and my BC the same... same rules.. same chores.. same everything....

but his BC demand $ or they want nothing to do with him.

we are lost.. failing.. depressed and about to give up... why fight for children that only see you as dollar signs ???

StickAFork's picture

What was the law at the time of the divorce? Not sure in BC, but in the US, the law at the time is the applicable law.
Also, what defines "reasonable" time?
How long were they married?
What does the divorce decree say about length of alimony? Often there is a time frame or a "until remarriage" clause.
Does your DH make bank? Sounds like it if the kids are worried you're a gold digger.
There are a lot of moving parts to this. Unfortunately for you, him marrying you is not one of them.

Orange County Ca's picture

Alamony? I didn't know there was such a thing anymore now that women have been liberated to work all day at a money earning job instead of raising our children.

MarriedaBallessWonder's picture

My H's ex got 5,000 a month for 5 years. On top of child support.

Then she got a job for a year and a half, got married and quit. She gets so much CS she doesn't have to work. I bet her new hubby loves that.

ownedbypedro's picture

Some women earn a living AND raise children and we do both very well - something not a whole lot of men know a whole lot about - especially you caveman types.