You are here

Legal advise regarding threats to post your a ngry moments on fb

Iris2019's picture
Forums: 

Hello everyone 

I do not want to make it long with you. My husband got mad last week for a stupid reason. I tried to explain my self he did not give me a moment to speak or explain my self . Honestly,  I got so mad and started to scream too. He told me that next time he will vedio tape me and post my angry moments on Facebook.  If he do s I,  what shall I do legally. This is so frustrating and embarrassing 

Sad

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Have you started therapy yet? It does not sound like things are improving as far as your relationship with your DH. Hopefully a good therapist can help you decide if it is worth it to continue with this dysfunctional relationship. I know you have reasons for staying, but it sounds like your DH is getting worse as far as his actions towards you. You deserve so much more than this man is willing to give you!

Powerfamily's picture

Having read your previous threads, you need to leave and the only legal promise not threat should be divorce.

He and his brats will never change, they will continue to abuse you until they have completely destroyed you.

tog redux's picture

Please leave this man. And please get some therapy for yourself. This is an extremely toxic situation. 

susanm's picture

If a person is willing to do something like that to you, don't give them the chance.  They have shown you who they are.

ESMOD's picture

Clearly there is a breakdown of civility between you both.  Threatening to post videos that woudl embarass you is wrong.. but I would argue that losing your temper to the point where you have "lost it" and would be embarassed if people saw that  is also a problem.  If he is gettting you "that" mad .. why be with him?  If his twisted way of "helping" you is to threaten to out your outbursts??? that isn't healthy.

I don't know if your loss of control is new behavior.. or whether it is something you struggle with long term.. but I would be done with a relationship where my partner threatened something like that.  legally, he may/may not be able to post those videos.. if he makes them.. but it seems the best course of action is to make sure that no videos are made.. and that means you probably need to leave.

still learning's picture

 If his twisted way of "helping" you is to threaten to out your outbursts??? 

I doubt he's trying to Help her at all. He would only post a video like that to gain sympathy and support.  Legally she could do something about it but that would take A LOT of money and by the time she was able to have them removed the damage would already have been done.  Her money would be better spent of personal therapy and a divorce lawyer.  

ndc's picture

Forget about legal advice for having bouts of anger recorded and posted online, and focus your legal energies on divorcing this man. Wouldn't it be better to not have angry fits than to worry about him recording them? Get away from the source of your negative emotions.

BethAnne's picture

btw if the anger is a new(ish) thing that you are struggling with be aware that one of the symptoms of depression can be anger. I didn't know this and at one point my anger regularly overwhelmed me and it scared me. I wish someone had told me that it was a symptom of depression, maybe then I could have gotten some help to deal with the depression rather than have a therapist who ask me if hunger was triggering the anger as if it was just me being "hangry" rather than offering me any real help. 

Rags's picture

In just this short OP, you have clearly identified the reason why this relationship is over.

Do yourself a favor and leave.  

still learning's picture

If you are to the point of screaming at your husband then personally you need help. Your husband wants to expose your actions and get people on his side and threatens to post it all over social media.  It sounds like both of you have issues communicating if you have to scream and he has to expose your fights and play victim.  

I advise therapy for you and then for both of you as a couple. Until you are able to do this please work on creating a pause before you react to him.  When the cycle of fighting starts, take a break and use the bathroom.  You could also remember that you need something from the store or go for a brief walk.  

Whenever someone is heaping rudeness or abuse my way I use these phrases:

Why would you say that to me?

Why would you treat me that way?

Why would you act that way?

This stops you from saying something you may regret and puts them on the spot.  Remember that you don't have to react to everything someone says or does.  ss30 is notorious for saying rude things to me that re meant to hurt. When he does this I'll just look at him with a confused expression. He was expecting me to defend myself so he could *hook* me into his drama. He has no response but to leave me alone at me being confused at his rudeness.  Most fights have a pattern and happen in the usual places. If you can interrupt the pattern then you can avoid the fight escalating. 

Please take care of yourself. Work out to release anger from your body and to get away from H and all the drama at home.  Go for a walk and call friends and family rather than getting into it with H and skids.  Make yourself your top priority.  I haven't read your other blogs but just skimming the titles show that you are enmeshed with steplife.  

Do some reading on the Karpman Drama Triangle to see where you fit in it. Also look at the Cycle of Violence and see how your and H's fights follow this predictable pattern.  

Rags's picture

Why be embarrassed over something that has not happened?

As for your SO, anyone who would manage their marriage via FB is an asshole and a complete and total write off.  

Boot his as and block him.