How important has it been to you to have representation in court?

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We're considering getting a lawyer. Nothing insane has happened lately, but having someone involved sounds like a good idea.

We have a law school in town and they do pro-bono work.

Both sides have always been pro se. I think this has benefited BM in the past.

I would never walk into a

I would never walk into a court room without a lawyer - BUT I did do it with my divorce only because I wrote the decree and the shared parenting so I knew every single loophole and language. That's the only reason I went pro se.

In pro-golden uterus NYS, it

In pro-golden uterus NYS, it is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL, ESPECIALLY for an NCP biodad!!!!!

I can't emphasize this enough! Of course, Chef wouldn't listen to me and stubbornly tried to go it alone--translation: roll over and give the BM free reign, namely everything he owned and then some. Much, much more than the average BM gets in a divorce settlement.

New York as well. Can't get

New York as well. Can't get anything without a lawyer and even then it is an uphill battle. Judges are anti-dad. No other way to say it.

If you can't afford it or get one pro-bono, you would have to go it without one. If so, do as much research as you can online. There are a lot of sights that you can use and some that even have past cases.

Good Luck.

DF has been pretty darn lucky

DF has been pretty darn lucky without using a lawyer. (We're in Brooklyn). He's had CS lowered several times. The judge told BM to kick rocks when she tried to force DF fo pay for day care.

Another judge gave BM hell for bad mouthing DF on Facebook.
She refused her request to only allow DF to have the girls for two weeks in the summer.(She wanted that option so that he would have to clear the dates with her each year). Judge sided with DF and gave then each a full month.

NYPD gave BM a smack down last month when she refused to hand the kids over for their summer visit.

I believe BM's nasty attitude has played a huge role in the outcomes.

Seems downstate judges are

Seems downstate judges are much more enlightened than upstate ones (false chivalry).

Of course the BM in my case KNOWS the magistrate and they WORK TOGETHER so that probably also lent itself to the lopsideness that continues to this day.

Absolutely. Even if you only

Absolutely. Even if you only use your attorney to consult when acting pro se. We always kept an attorney on retainer so we could call, get advice, and have professional guidance when we were preparing to smack the Sperm Clan around in court. After the first round of our 17+ year Custody/Visitation/Support order and blended family adventure we never had an attorney in court with us.

It worked for us.

I'm in CA. Even though dh is

I'm in CA. Even though dh is primary parent and bm has ss FOUR days a month she pays ZERO. Dh hasn't worked in nearly a year. Last time we tried to engage the dept of child support services since they work for "the child and his best interest" he still got nothing and was told that he"might" need to pay her if he pursued the issue further.

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