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Child Support Review Advice

always in the dark's picture

I am new to the forum and have read through a few recent entries... WOW. I didn't realize that so many others go through what I go through. I have a question, looking for opinions. I am stepmother to 3 children. The children are from 2 different biomoms. We recently received notice to appear for a review. Same bio mom who took us to court in past for increase. She went through an attorney last time and we hired one as well. As it turns out she got what she wanted as most know will happen. The problem I have this round is (AND I KNOW IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO THE COURTS).. we are living paycheck to paycheck, paying child support to other biomom as well, and I have a child from previous marriage. We have always paid, never missing any payments. (Even during unemployment, MY family members helped BF keep current). The kids are older now and bio mom and step dad are driving new cars, kids carrying around $300 cell phones, IPODS, $200-$300 Coach purses, etc. In Texas, bio mom does not have to explain anything nor her income. This is soooo unfair. With recent receipt of letter from Domestic Relations office about this review meeting, would we be in default if we don't go? I know eventually it will just be turned over to the court, but why drop everything when bio mom wants it and take days off work to make life easier for her? I am even willing to pay attorney to handle in court as I am concerned we will get SCREWED. My only question to anyone who might know, is should we just not show and let the courts take over or will a judge be upset with this and make us pay for that decision later? Quick opinions please as they only gave us a few days notice. Thanks in advance, Always in the dark.

Nise's picture

I know NOTHING about Texas law but I do know that regardless of what state you live in, 99.9% of judges believe that fathers are worthless, always trying to get over on the poor helpless mother “stuck” with the kids….and based on that I think that it will be setting a bad precedent if you just buck the proceedings all together…I would say that no matter what, you want to be present at any and all proceedings with an attorney when applicable….just my two cents…I can definitely relate to your pain…I’m SM to two girls by two moms and child support going to two different households is no fun but nonetheless that is the bed our guys made and they have to lay in it! We are also in the process of reviewing one of the orders (from the materialistic money hungry mom who also puts the 6 year old in only brand name clothing and bitches about how far child support DOESN’T go….quit buying a 6 year old $75 pairs of jeans and it might go a little bit further!)…we got back to court in a couple of months to so you and I will be in this mess together!

Make a GREAT Day!

hopeful's picture

I commend you for all that you have to cope with...I know that I could not do it. One ex for me is one too many on both sides of the eqation. Good luck!

Anne 8102's picture

Definitely go. I don't know anything about Texas law, either, but I do know that not appearing for something like this really doesn't make you look good. I would go to the meeting if for no other reason that to appear cooperative with the process, but don't commit to anything without running it by a lawyer first.

~ Anne ~

Anne 8102's picture

Here's an excerpt from the Texas AG's website. It sounds like you can bring your documentation and if you can show the circumstances have changed and/or the amount will cause hardship, then they can be flexible...

8. Make sure that you explain and have some written proof of your financial situation so that your child support order can be set at a realistic amount.

9. Request a review and adjustment of your child support payment from your child support case-worker whenever you lose your job or your income is reduced for whatever reasons, and make sure that follow-up occurs.

10. Know that avoiding child support enforcement is likely to make your situation worse.

~ Anne ~

always in the dark's picture

Ok, guess we are going. Bio mom will be there too, oh can't wait. It is just so frustrating that many of the laws are so unfair. I too am a divorced mother of one but I don't hunt my ex down every time he gets a raise. Let the person live. Move on. I guess many of us could go on for a while on that one. And yes, Nise, I agree, if Biomom wouldn't spend money on ridiculous things for such young children she might have more for their actual NEEDS... I work 40+ hours a week and can't afford crap like that. I don't want it either, just want us to pay our bills, allow MY daughter to have some things in life (and NO, it don't consist of such BS either..). Anne 8102, thanks for the info on AG office. I will definitely make sure we have all documents including financial. May or may not work, but worth a shot. I have a friend who contacted the Texas AG office when he was only bringing home $100 per week after the ex took everything else so that they might lower the support at least until he got a better paying job, they told him to get another job or two. WHEN is BF going to see his children when he has to work 2-3 jobs... and what is the point, the biomom will just take it too. What a system. NISE, let me know how things go with your case.

lovin-life's picture

Child-support & spousal support is calculated by the courts from gross income Canada......but

When my hubby was fighting his ex on spousal support.. I calculated what they actually had left over......after taxes, CS payments, union dues, child related tax breaks, etc....everything.

I did one set (of total household income) with spousal support and one without. To my surprise, It was taken into account by the judge!!!!!!! It didn't have to be..and legally she didn't base the suspension of SS on it....BUT that information did help when combined with other evidence that did have legal merit. It showed how much higher her standard of living was than ours......and we showed how frivolous her spending was. And how reasonable and tight our budget was.......

Do more work and gather more evidence, facts & figures than you need. Present every possible angle. It can't hurt! Smile

always in the dark's picture

If there is one thing I have learned being married to BF with two biomoms and several children, document and keep EVERYTYHING!!! Good idea, I can draft a table of sorts and present it. Worst case scenario, they will ignore it. I have an unbelievably large filing system. Seperated by year, ect. Although with many files you would discard after 7, I have learned to keep no matter what. We had a case this year which we proved was error on AG's part 12 years ago.... had it not been for good records we would have been screwed. Thanks.