BM has stopped SO from seeing his son (UK law)
It's fairly complicated but BM has stopped SO from seeing his son due to SO insisting that he sees a doctor for his soiling himself.
He's being asking her for ages to take SS to the Doctors to sort this out as it's been going on for about a year and it's got to the point where he's soiling himself in his sleep. She refused to admit that SS has any problems and has actually blamed it on us, saying he only does it when he's here.
This is a complete lie as he's been sent round in crapped in pants and when SO last picked him up, BM and her mother were getting pissed up and she told him that SS was completely clean and nothing wrong with him, SS bent up to kiss her, trousers half way down his butt (another story) and he had crap in between his butt cheeks!
Anyway, SO took SS to the Dr and she said that he had a blockage and was leaking around it. She needed to figure out if the problem was emotional or physical so BM needed to keep an eye on him and take him back, let her know the pattern. Once again, BM denies a problem, refuses to take him. SO other gets mad at her and threatens her with social services as in many many ways she's been neglecting him and we have photographic proof of soiling as well as the clothes he is sent round with being far too small for his age.
BM hit the roof with the threat and has now banned SO from seeing SS. They both have parental rights, so he has much right to see his son as she does. We've been in contact with social services but all they will do is make sure SS's medical problem is sorted (which BM will lie about anyway).
SO is going to keep going to her house to pick him up on Sundays as normal as we read that you should make the effort to be seen and heard by the child and unless she takes out an injunction, then there's nothing to stop him.
Has anyone been through similar and what rights does my SO have. How do we go about getting access back please?
Your SO should go see a
Your SO should go see a lawyer to sort out his options. This is a very complex situation legally speaking.
SO should take a uninvolved
SO should take a uninvolved witness to a couple of the pick up attempts so he has proof he was rebuffed. All the witness has to note is date, time and what happened. S/he doesn't get involved at all and you should not be the witness.
The witness can immediately write out what s/he saw and date, sign and if you really wan to solidify it get it notarized. Then father involves an attorney. In the U.S. where law is based on the Common Law of England this would be a criminal violation of failing to obey a court order and that's what he should go for.
She won't end up in jail but she'll be glancing at the bailiff.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your comments. Much appreciated.
We have called social services, but they aren't very good at all. Like everything else they are understaffed and couldn't give a monkeys about SS's poor hygiene, badly fitting clothes or anything that happened over a month ago - even though most things are a build up.
The one thing they are going to do is insist that his medical problem is dealt with - but whether they will get proof or not, I don't know and she is one of the biggest liars I know.
There was no court order in the first place. If both parents have parental responsibility in the UK, it's encouraged that they sort out their own arrangement, but the one good thing is that it's definitely frowned upon for a mother to remove access from the father (we have this on text by the way - black and white) - especially if it's because she's using the child as a pawn in a game, which she quite obviously is as the reason she is stopping access is due to her not wanting to take him to the GP and being threatened with social services if she didn't!
Social services did say they weren't impressed by her removing access, but that's it!
That's a great idea, taking a witness and pictures to prove he was there. Thank you for that.
I know a real cutthroat female solicitor, who is expensive, but will be worth every penny. Looks like that will be our next port of call as the Police don't tend to get involved in domestics in any way.
I will make an appointment to go see the solicitor. It's such a shame that people use their kids in battle like that. I've had my ups and downs with SS, pretty much because she's poisoned him against me - but we'd all just started really gelling again and she goes and pulls this crap :/