Get this....last time BM took Dh to court to get CS raised she actually asked for gas cards for the SD's. 250 dollars a month for each girl.
BM s. attorney actually wrote it up on the modification order....DH laughed and refused to agree to it.....not only did BM not get the gas cards , child support was lowered.
Some people don't know when to quit when they are ahead:)
At the time they were 16 and 18....yep you saw it right 18!!!!!!! Absolutely ridiculous. My bio 15 has a car, works 30 hours a week, pays for her own gas and pays half of her car insurance every month.
Yes indeedy. DH and BM divorced when SD was 2. Had 50/50 custody. When SD was 15 and decided she wanted to live with BM and custody agreement was modified, DH got stuck for half of SD's activities. AND, get this, he did NOT get the opportunity to approve of them (or not) in advance. Because BM was primary custodian, she was allowed to make all decisions regarding SD's activities and DH was required to pay half. It was ridiculous.
same here. BM enrolled SS in an expensive ski camp one year (aka daycare for her). DH didnt agree with it AFTER she already enrolled him. Judge said "too bad DH" Ah, justice- not
same here IF BM presents it first and DH "agrees". Nice language in the divorce decree- if it ever worked! Our court system has interepreted it as such- BM wants it, she gets it. ITS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!!! Who cares if everyone is going broke in the process?
Tell me about it. BM was always signing SD up for club sports. One session cost $1400. And we got to pay half. Meanwhile, the recreational session for that same sport cost $55. Crazy!
YES and in NYS. The part about BM consulting biodad first is totally ignored. She just hands over the bills to her attny and the CS is upward adjusted chop chop.
Yes, court order states that my DH is to pay for half of "agreed upon" extracurricular activities for SD11. He pays CS (not terribly high, actually), is required to carry insurance (but there's something written into that, to expressly allow for that to be modified if circumstances change for him, job-wise/financially), half of unreimbursed medical/dental, and then half of "agreed upon" extracurriculars.
So far, none of that has gotten challenged in court. DH has gone back to BM over a particularly expensive one, and said, "This year, I DO NOT AGREE to this activity." BM accepted that, more or less. BM's Mother did call DH's Mother, complaining that "DH isn't supporting his daughter." DH went off on BM over that. Reminded her that their divorce decree spells out that neither parent *nor their family* is permitted to speak negatively about the other parent in front of the child. He warned BM to speak to her mother, remind her mother to be very careful. End of incident...
Here's our deal. CO says BM is supposed to get approval from DH before enrolling them in activities and IF agreed by both parties they will split the cost.
Well BM thinks this means: sign kids up for activities then send email saying: I signed kid up for activity your half for shoes and registration is........
When it means ask the noncustodial parent. He can say yes or no! If you still choose to sign them up you are responsible.
But here's the kicker, the BM forged the child sup order in 07 out of anger that I bought a car. She forged it and motorized it with her own notary seal and even put the wrong address for DH. We had mercy on her and didn't press charges because we feltbthat it would affect the boys seeing there mom in jail. And.....we knew shed lose her job which could cause cs to go up so we let it go. They went to a mediator and didva stipulation agreement and recalculated support. In the order it says DH will pay 435 cs plus 65 for activities per month for a total of 500. He was also paying an extra 100 just to help out.
Well she kept getting lawyers to threaten DH with the forged documents which makes it look like he's in arrears. She doesn't tell them that there was an amendment and they never notice the forged doc or that she notarized it herself. Then we respond. They realize she's a nut and drop her. Now she's on her 4th lawyer.
Ss needed a mouth guard $500. We paid half although we give her 165 extra per month for extras. She lost that one and asked us to split the second one. DH got notice that his job was doing layoffs and we said we could not. She threw a fit! So DH went and changed the monthly deposit amount from 600 to 500 which is the ordered amount.
Since DH thank God was able to keep job. Then she asked for a change to up cs. So we said ok we will recalculate. Well it was not more than a 10% change so couldn't be changed. So it's still 435 plus 65 for 500 total but she still wants us to pay half of activities even though we are already paying it monthly.
So we got a lawyer but can't press charges or bring it up till we go to court! So our attorney says she can complain all she wants bur we don't have to pay since we are already doing it. She said let her file a motion then we can go to court and explain to the judge what is going on finally!!!!!!
This woman is a whack job and opposes everything we do or say. Yet there are deadbeats out there who run from every responsibility. And she constantly thinks I'm trying to steal her kids even though I have three beauties of my own!
Oh and we use to buy cleats etc and clothes . She complained that I bought her sons big clothes to make them look like thugs. Lol keep in mind I'm a social worker.
So now we don't buy cleats, shoes or clothes. If only she kept her mouth shut shed still be getting 165 extra from us, wouldn't have to buy cleats or shoes.
IF you read the support guidelines for our state thoroughly, it is buried in there that DH is to pay for all agreed upon extraordinary extracurricular activities. It's also based on his CS split, in his case roughly 60/40 split.
There is a certain idea of normal activities that a kid does that is considered part of support. The extraordinary would be expensive leagues ect, sport camps etc. But typical things like sports through schools....aren't considered exraordinary.
Dh has never been asked to help with any of these, yet it will be thrown in his face that he doesn't help pay. Mind you though that SD rode and showed our horses for almost 4 years - we provided riding lessons, the horse, all the tack, and all the show clothes needed- BM's comment was I pay for the insurance for the organization what could it possibly cost you *choke, cough, cough*
That's the key: agreed upon extracurricular expenses. This woman never asks if DH agrees. She just signs them up and sends us the bill. DH could say: I don't agree.
But he gives her extra for any activity yet she still wants more. We can't wait to go to court so that the judge can set it all straight. What a mess!
This is what we were told (but I strongly suggest you go to your state child support guidelines and look for extraordinary education section)
SD's total education bill was almost 18K a year this includes tuition, books, room and board (and she was going to college 10 minutes from her home), and a living allowance.
SD received a tuition paid scholarship which counted toward her part. The parents split the remaining 12-13K a year. This split was based on the CS split- so something like 60/40 in DH situation. BM wanted DH to pay 500+ month year around to SD, in addition to the 500 a month to BM. Because we still had to pay CS for the 12 weeks that she was not in school, and for SS14.
I did my homework, we were able to put into the agreement:
Grades were supplied by SD within 10 days of receipt
GPA had to be maintained at a 2.0 (however, I think it should have been a 2.5).
Needless to say SD didn't cut the grade and moved home her sophomore year and BM cut off all financial help to school (though she wanted a crazy amount of money for support)
My DH divorce papers states he has to pay 1/2 of extra-curricular activities, BUT, ex has never asked for the money unless she is mad about something. We have never paid a dime for them because she gets plenty of money every month, plus her new husband is a dentist.
Bf's CO states " husband shall pay for all traditionally participated in extracurricular activites"
He signed them up for and paid for softball in the town he lives in which they have all played in for the last 10 years.(he has them EVERY fri sat sun-mon a.m.)
Wacjob got pissy and 2 weeks later signed them up in her town (15 min away) and filed contempt that he wouldnt pay.
Judge said " pay. and you cant sign them up for anything as you are not custodial"
She wins again.............
and now he has to drive them to her town every weekend and hang out all day on saturdays while all 5 girls have games because Wacjob works on EVERY saturday.
Judges suck.
Our CO never stated anything like this. THANK GOODNESS!! BM put skids in everything under the sun!
I asked NN why she would do this because I was concerned about how much the skids had on their plates all the time.
NN said there was two reasons:
1. It interferes with visitation (ALWAYS events on his weekends. BM would just flat out cancel if there were activities scheduled)
2. It's a babysitter for her that she can use without HAVING to offer US to take the skids!
so funny how every judge is on a different page?..here in ontario..me ( and my ex ) are in court for extra expenses..looks like he is going to be on the hook for expenses occured for day care 58% of them..but i have to ask him to help with activities..but he always says NO?..and can get away with it..a few municipalities to the north of us..my current husband goes to court against his ex and the judge makes him pay 8000 in "fake" child support arrears without having any proof of the non payment, and the order says he has to pay an extra 200/mth over and above his CS for activities??? then slaps a restraining order on him without "proof" again..and says.."we air on the side of caution" so its to be made permanent?..wow...two different rulings in two different towns within the same province?..super weird..
I'm an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals. Cheap china jerseys
My Dh's decree stated he had to pay for half of all extra-curricular activities so long as they were agreed upon in advance. Ha! "Advance" to his ex was, "SD is trying out for cheer this weekend, it's $2,000 for the season. See, I told you in advance, you can just pay me an extra $100 per month if she makes it." Um, no, he didn't have an extra grand to piss away so his daughter could dance around in a little skirt. And by her senior year, it was THREE GRAND per year! BM was pissed but she paid for it. Sorry, cheer is just not that important, she could
have joined a more reasonably priced activity if she felt SD needed to be in something. I'm all for kids doing stuff, but not so etching that expensive, that's ridiculous.
DH paid half of Pop Warner cheer when SD was 8. Stupid BM made her quit before the season even started because "it was too much driving around for practices," even though I offered to take her. Then BM tried to get the enrollment fee (which DH had paid!) returned to her! It was non-refundable so she didn't get it but what a bitch!
When SS was 16 he decided he wanted to play ice hockey. Not a cheap sport. DH got an email one day that said, "SS is playing hockey. I paid the fee, you buy his equipment." Thanks for asking! Luckily my brother played hockey and had a bunch of equipment SS was able to use, and we got other stuff at a sports consignment store, but a discussion beforehand would have been nice! And so much for hockey, SS was not very good and quit after one season.
I don't feel bad that DH didn't pay for everything. He paid what he could afford and what he felt was within reason. Just because BM never said no didn't mean he had to do the same. If married parents can't afford an activity, the kid doesn't get to do it. I think it's really shitty that divorce can make this nifty little situation where a kid can just run to the other parent for the money and he or she can be forced to pay. I wanted to be on the dance team in high school. It was $1500 per year and my parents said hell no. So I didn't get to and I didn't die and life went on. I didn't have some court order and some other parent that I could demand the money from, whether it was there or not. I know some parents are crappy and won't pay for anything, and that sucks, but when the CP makes ridiculous demands for extravagent activities, I think the NCP has the right to say no.
Nope. If she wants to sign
Nope. If she wants to sign them up for something - she can pay it out of the CS or her own money. Or maybe bottomfeed off her new baby daddy...
Get this....last time BM took
Get this....last time BM took Dh to court to get CS raised she actually asked for gas cards for the SD's. 250 dollars a month for each girl.
BM s. attorney actually wrote it up on the modification order....DH laughed and refused to agree to it.....not only did BM not get the gas cards , child support was lowered.
Some people don't know when to quit when they are ahead:)
At the time they were 16 and
At the time they were 16 and 18....yep you saw it right 18!!!!!!! Absolutely ridiculous. My bio 15 has a car, works 30 hours a week, pays for her own gas and pays half of her car insurance every month.
Yes indeedy. DH and BM
Yes indeedy. DH and BM divorced when SD was 2. Had 50/50 custody. When SD was 15 and decided she wanted to live with BM and custody agreement was modified, DH got stuck for half of SD's activities. AND, get this, he did NOT get the opportunity to approve of them (or not) in advance. Because BM was primary custodian, she was allowed to make all decisions regarding SD's activities and DH was required to pay half. It was ridiculous.
DH's family court judge
DH's family court judge always told BM the same thing, "That's what you get child support for."
same here. BM enrolled SS in
same here. BM enrolled SS in an expensive ski camp one year (aka daycare for her). DH didnt agree with it AFTER she already enrolled him. Judge said "too bad DH" Ah, justice- not
My BF is responsible for
My BF is responsible for paying 50% of every sports/activity his 2 kids are in.
same here IF BM presents it
same here IF BM presents it first and DH "agrees". Nice language in the divorce decree- if it ever worked! Our court system has interepreted it as such- BM wants it, she gets it. ITS FOR THE CHILDREN!!!!!! Who cares if everyone is going broke in the process?
Tell me about it. BM was
Tell me about it. BM was always signing SD up for club sports. One session cost $1400. And we got to pay half. Meanwhile, the recreational session for that same sport cost $55. Crazy!
YES and in NYS. The part
YES and in NYS. The part about BM consulting biodad first is totally ignored. She just hands over the bills to her attny and the CS is upward adjusted chop chop.
Yes, court order states that
Yes, court order states that my DH is to pay for half of "agreed upon" extracurricular activities for SD11. He pays CS (not terribly high, actually), is required to carry insurance (but there's something written into that, to expressly allow for that to be modified if circumstances change for him, job-wise/financially), half of unreimbursed medical/dental, and then half of "agreed upon" extracurriculars.
So far, none of that has gotten challenged in court. DH has gone back to BM over a particularly expensive one, and said, "This year, I DO NOT AGREE to this activity." BM accepted that, more or less. BM's Mother did call DH's Mother, complaining that "DH isn't supporting his daughter." DH went off on BM over that. Reminded her that their divorce decree spells out that neither parent *nor their family* is permitted to speak negatively about the other parent in front of the child. He warned BM to speak to her mother, remind her mother to be very careful. End of incident...
Here's our deal. CO says BM
Here's our deal. CO says BM is supposed to get approval from DH before enrolling them in activities and IF agreed by both parties they will split the cost.
Well BM thinks this means: sign kids up for activities then send email saying: I signed kid up for activity your half for shoes and registration is........
When it means ask the noncustodial parent. He can say yes or no! If you still choose to sign them up you are responsible.
But here's the kicker, the BM forged the child sup order in 07 out of anger that I bought a car. She forged it and motorized it with her own notary seal and even put the wrong address for DH. We had mercy on her and didn't press charges because we feltbthat it would affect the boys seeing there mom in jail. And.....we knew shed lose her job which could cause cs to go up so we let it go. They went to a mediator and didva stipulation agreement and recalculated support. In the order it says DH will pay 435 cs plus 65 for activities per month for a total of 500. He was also paying an extra 100 just to help out.
Well she kept getting lawyers to threaten DH with the forged documents which makes it look like he's in arrears. She doesn't tell them that there was an amendment and they never notice the forged doc or that she notarized it herself. Then we respond. They realize she's a nut and drop her. Now she's on her 4th lawyer.
Ss needed a mouth guard $500. We paid half although we give her 165 extra per month for extras. She lost that one and asked us to split the second one. DH got notice that his job was doing layoffs and we said we could not. She threw a fit! So DH went and changed the monthly deposit amount from 600 to 500 which is the ordered amount.
Since DH thank God was able to keep job. Then she asked for a change to up cs. So we said ok we will recalculate. Well it was not more than a 10% change so couldn't be changed. So it's still 435 plus 65 for 500 total but she still wants us to pay half of activities even though we are already paying it monthly.
So we got a lawyer but can't press charges or bring it up till we go to court! So our attorney says she can complain all she wants bur we don't have to pay since we are already doing it. She said let her file a motion then we can go to court and explain to the judge what is going on finally!!!!!!
This woman is a whack job and opposes everything we do or say. Yet there are deadbeats out there who run from every responsibility. And she constantly thinks I'm trying to steal her kids even though I have three beauties of my own!
Can anyone top this? Lmbo!
Oh and we use to buy cleats
Oh and we use to buy cleats etc and clothes . She complained that I bought her sons big clothes to make them look like thugs. Lol keep in mind I'm a social worker.
So now we don't buy cleats, shoes or clothes. If only she kept her mouth shut shed still be getting 165 extra from us, wouldn't have to buy cleats or shoes.
IF you read the support
IF you read the support guidelines for our state thoroughly, it is buried in there that DH is to pay for all agreed upon extraordinary extracurricular activities. It's also based on his CS split, in his case roughly 60/40 split.
There is a certain idea of normal activities that a kid does that is considered part of support. The extraordinary would be expensive leagues ect, sport camps etc. But typical things like sports through schools....aren't considered exraordinary.
Dh has never been asked to help with any of these, yet it will be thrown in his face that he doesn't help pay. Mind you though that SD rode and showed our horses for almost 4 years - we provided riding lessons, the horse, all the tack, and all the show clothes needed- BM's comment was I pay for the insurance for the organization what could it possibly cost you *choke, cough, cough*
That's the key: agreed upon
That's the key: agreed upon extracurricular expenses. This woman never asks if DH agrees. She just signs them up and sends us the bill. DH could say: I don't agree.
But he gives her extra for any activity yet she still wants more. We can't wait to go to court so that the judge can set it all straight. What a mess!
This is what we were told
This is what we were told (but I strongly suggest you go to your state child support guidelines and look for extraordinary education section)
SD's total education bill was almost 18K a year this includes tuition, books, room and board (and she was going to college 10 minutes from her home), and a living allowance.
SD received a tuition paid scholarship which counted toward her part. The parents split the remaining 12-13K a year. This split was based on the CS split- so something like 60/40 in DH situation. BM wanted DH to pay 500+ month year around to SD, in addition to the 500 a month to BM. Because we still had to pay CS for the 12 weeks that she was not in school, and for SS14.
I did my homework, we were able to put into the agreement:
Grades were supplied by SD within 10 days of receipt
GPA had to be maintained at a 2.0 (however, I think it should have been a 2.5).
Needless to say SD didn't cut the grade and moved home her sophomore year and BM cut off all financial help to school (though she wanted a crazy amount of money for support)
Colorado use to order tuition
Colorado use to order tuition and extended cs but it was ruled out as of 1997. Thank goodness.
We are really pushing all of them to get scholarships or join the Air Force.
But we will help tem some but they need to own their efforts so they won't waist those college years and will take it seriously.
So sad that some will bend over backwards to try to keep cs going and are so dependent on it forever!
My DH divorce papers states
My DH divorce papers states he has to pay 1/2 of extra-curricular activities, BUT, ex has never asked for the money unless she is mad about something. We have never paid a dime for them because she gets plenty of money every month, plus her new husband is a dentist.
Bf's CO states " husband
Bf's CO states " husband shall pay for all traditionally participated in extracurricular activites"
He signed them up for and paid for softball in the town he lives in which they have all played in for the last 10 years.(he has them EVERY fri sat sun-mon a.m.)
Wacjob got pissy and 2 weeks later signed them up in her town (15 min away) and filed contempt that he wouldnt pay.
Judge said " pay. and you cant sign them up for anything as you are not custodial"
She wins again.............
and now he has to drive them to her town every weekend and hang out all day on saturdays while all 5 girls have games because Wacjob works on EVERY saturday.
Judges suck.
Our CO never stated anything
Our CO never stated anything like this. THANK GOODNESS!! BM put skids in everything under the sun!
I asked NN why she would do this because I was concerned about how much the skids had on their plates all the time.
NN said there was two reasons:
1. It interferes with visitation (ALWAYS events on his weekends. BM would just flat out cancel if there were activities scheduled)
2. It's a babysitter for her that she can use without HAVING to offer US to take the skids!
Evil witch - no offense to witches...
so funny how every judge is
so funny how every judge is on a different page?..here in ontario..me ( and my ex ) are in court for extra expenses..looks like he is going to be on the hook for expenses occured for day care 58% of them..but i have to ask him to help with activities..but he always says NO?..and can get away with it..a few municipalities to the north of us..my current husband goes to court against his ex and the judge makes him pay 8000 in "fake" child support arrears without having any proof of the non payment, and the order says he has to pay an extra 200/mth over and above his CS for activities??? then slaps a restraining order on him without "proof" again..and says.."we air on the side of caution" so its to be made permanent?..wow...two different rulings in two different towns within the same province?..super weird..
I'm an optimist in the sense
I'm an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals.
Cheap china jerseys
My Dh's decree stated he had
My Dh's decree stated he had to pay for half of all extra-curricular activities so long as they were agreed upon in advance. Ha! "Advance" to his ex was, "SD is trying out for cheer this weekend, it's $2,000 for the season. See, I told you in advance, you can just pay me an extra $100 per month if she makes it." Um, no, he didn't have an extra grand to piss away so his daughter could dance around in a little skirt. And by her senior year, it was THREE GRAND per year! BM was pissed but she paid for it. Sorry, cheer is just not that important, she could
have joined a more reasonably priced activity if she felt SD needed to be in something. I'm all for kids doing stuff, but not so etching that expensive, that's ridiculous.
DH paid half of Pop Warner cheer when SD was 8. Stupid BM made her quit before the season even started because "it was too much driving around for practices," even though I offered to take her. Then BM tried to get the enrollment fee (which DH had paid!) returned to her! It was non-refundable so she didn't get it but what a bitch!
When SS was 16 he decided he wanted to play ice hockey. Not a cheap sport. DH got an email one day that said, "SS is playing hockey. I paid the fee, you buy his equipment." Thanks for asking! Luckily my brother played hockey and had a bunch of equipment SS was able to use, and we got other stuff at a sports consignment store, but a discussion beforehand would have been nice! And so much for hockey, SS was not very good and quit after one season.
I don't feel bad that DH didn't pay for everything. He paid what he could afford and what he felt was within reason. Just because BM never said no didn't mean he had to do the same. If married parents can't afford an activity, the kid doesn't get to do it. I think it's really shitty that divorce can make this nifty little situation where a kid can just run to the other parent for the money and he or she can be forced to pay. I wanted to be on the dance team in high school. It was $1500 per year and my parents said hell no. So I didn't get to and I didn't die and life went on. I didn't have some court order and some other parent that I could demand the money from, whether it was there or not. I know some parents are crappy and won't pay for anything, and that sucks, but when the CP makes ridiculous demands for extravagent activities, I think the NCP has the right to say no.