dinky78's picture

I’m new here so please bare with me as this is only my second post. I don't know where to begin. My DH is currently in the middle of a custody battle. First let me start by saying that we were trying to get full custody of his two children due to abuse in the home. CPS was called on DH ex twice for abuse both cases were unfounded. Second the children’s guardian felt that since the kids wouldn't come out and say they were abused and CPS said it was unfounded that it was in the best interest of the children to stay with their Mom. So we presented her with an agreement which she naturally wants things changed. First and more important the guardian had made legal documentation that there was to be no corporal punishment by my DH, myself, DH ex and ex new husband who is suspected to be the abuser. Also ex new husband is not allowed to discipline the children at all. Now DH ex wants that taken out which we will not agree to and I doubt the guardian will agree to it either being that she is the one who put it in place. Second DH wants shared custody with primary at ex house so the kids don't have to change schools, and of course she does not want that either. She has been so adamant about the corporal punishment and new husband discipline the children that it has me concerned. Why would this be soooo important to her? Does she not know how to discipline without corporal punishment? It also states in the documentation that if there was any thought about spanking (which we are adamant about not changing) it would have to be cleared with a child psychologist. She wants that taken out as well. It all just seems very odd to me. Any opinions and advice would be greatly appreciated.

Orange County Ca's picture

I'm shooting in the dark here but its well known that some mothers have overlooked sexual abuse of children in order to keep peace in the family, out of fear of the abuser, or even get involved themselves.

It struck me that perhaps she's under some sort of pressure from the abuser in that he's threatened her, threatened to leave and takes any financial contribution he makes with him or she just loves him and will do anything to please him.

Anyway it sounds like your husband is willing to accept the agreement and I hope he holds his ground and not give in. He can try to secretly video record a conversation with the kids and try to pull out admissions of any violations. This could help in future custody cases.

dinky78's picture

We thought of video taping but his lawyer said the courts would not allow it as evidence. It looks like we will be going to court because DH will not give into her.
I think it is just that she is that stupid to belive him. I don't think it is love I think she has more of a fatal attraction to him.

dinky78's picture

I probably should say why I think it is a fatal attraction. She left my DH for this man ( who was my husbands freinds since they were kids) right after she gave birth to SS. She was so attracted to him that she had to have sex with him even though she was still recovering from having SS. She slept with him only one week of givng birth to another's man child. Talk about a dirty whore.

dinky78's picture

DH ex and new husband were the ones spanking the children.My DH never did and as for me Iwould NEVER put my hands on another woman's child. It seems like this was their only way of discipline. She will say other wise but we have experts telling us this. It is in black and white.Guardian has requsted parenting class for BM and she did attened them. My DH just spoke with the guardian today and she basically said that it is staying in the decree.