You are here

Would you do it?

Thisisnotus's picture

So I’ve mentioned before that DH waits on SDs 12 and 16 Hand and foot. Makes their dinner plates, gets them a drink, gets up with they need a napkin or a re fill or ketchup....you get the picture.

SD12 is obsessed with not eating what we eat and demands an alternative which is always waffles. So every night she is here it’s “daddy can you make me waffles” I’m talking about frozen waffles.....she is in 6th grade!

the toaster sits out.....DH was busy last night and put came “daddy can u make me waffles” 

should I take her into the kitchen next time and say hey SD come here and let me show you how to put a waffle in the toaster so that you can make one anytime you want.......I don’t think it would go over well cause she has to have daddy wait on her.....but I can’t stand it! It’s a mother effing toaster.

tog redux's picture

Nope. I wouldn't do it. I also would not eat with them because him treating them like toddlers would drive me nuts. 

Thisisnotus's picture

I stopped eating with them long ago. Family sit down dinners are no longer a thing when skids are there.....I can’t stand to witness it.

 

Kes's picture

No, you should take your DH aside and warn him that by being their unpaid servant,  he is turning his daughters into two obnoxious and helpless cuckoos, incapable of doing anything for themselves, even something so simple as getting a glass of water.  Personally, I would bin any remaining waffles in your freezer and the next time she asks, say that frozen waffles are not a healthy diet, and if she is not hungry enough to eat what you are eating she can wait for the next meal.  

On the rare occasions when my daughters did not want what I had cooked - their choices were to not have it, or make a sandwich for themselves.  No way was I making it. 

Disneyfan's picture

If your husband wants to wait on his kids hand and foot, that's his business.   As long as none of them expect you to join in, let it be.

 

captjacksprrw's picture

OMG.  ANOTHER Gretta syndrome holy child house.   Been there to a good extent. 

If you love DH and intend on saving this then do not delay like I did with my DW.  Get into Counseling with him asap (A good one not a the child is Savior types) and also talk with him one on one.  Let him know that he is totally doing harm to them by not ensuring that they have realistic expectations about the world and not having skills for themselves.  Also, let him know this is totally not acceptable to you and you will not be able to live like this for long that it will indeed deteriorate your marriage.  Trust me ... a Kid Centeric DW and selfish, self centered kids almost cost us our marriage.

hereiam's picture

I wouldn't bother. Knowing me, I might say, "The toaster is on the counter if you want to make them, yourself."

Your husband should be teaching her to be self-sufficient, so that she can be in the real world. She should be able to toast herself a waffle when her dad is busy, but if he wants to wait on her, that's his choice.

My DH cooked for and fixed his daughter's plate often, it's just what he does and it's one of his love languages. He waits on me hand and foot! But, he did also teach his daughter to do for herself.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Not only would I not say anything, I would not cook on Waffle Night. Let Daddeeee and his "boss" bond over Daddee toasting waffles. Maybe he'll even butter them and pour on the syrup for her...

Thisisnotus's picture

Not only does he put syrup on them (she wouldn't dream of eating butter on her waffle) but he also cuts the waffle up for her.

I have pretty much stopped cooking on any nights where its just skids....if my kids are there I cook. If not, its on DH.

Pregnantwithquestions's picture

I'd likely throw out the waffles and say that we don't have any, but she's welcome to eat what we're eating or not eat at all.

My SD is a picky eater and has in the past, expected the same (me to constantly refill drinks, grab napkins) and I shut that down quickly-- showed her a few times how to get her own drink and napkins, shes 7, and it hasn't been an issue since.

But a 12yo? GTFOH...lol

Monkeysee's picture

There is nothing sexy about a man babying his children. Nothing. I wish they understood that. Plus it doesn’t help their kids, the only person they’re helping is themselves, because on some level this bs behaviour is making THEM feel good. Yuck. 

My DH isn’t nearly this bad, but he absolutely babies my skids in ways I don’t agree with. Some things I speak up about, most things now I just let him carry on with. It’s not sexy. It doesn’t help the kids. If I could get him to stop I would in a heartbeat, and I wouldn’t care if that made me an evil, controlling stepmother who ‘hates’ her skids. Instead I just fantasize about living a life without this drama & focus on my baby.

Swim_Mom's picture

not because I would be virtuously trying to share wisdom, since I really would not give a $hit, I could not stand to listen to it. So I'd say "Skid! You are twelve! Learn how to use a mf toaster NOW!" And I'd tell DH he was getting NONE until he stopped the very unattractive babying - I agree with Monkeysee that is a major turnoff. *ROFL*

bertieb's picture

I let my husband do all the waiting on his son he wanted to do. My comments went over as being petty or my DH agreed SS needed to pick up his stuff or help but then never did anything about it. SS would leave dishes beside the sink and I ignored them. If DH didn't think SS had to put them in the dishwasher then he could do it himself. I stepped over dirty clothes in the bathroom and yes, DH would pick them up instead of telling SS to do so. Did I change behavior of DH? No. SS graduates from college in May and as far as I know there is no plan for a career or job. DH asked once what he planned to do with his degree and the only answer was "Whatever I want to do." I'm already worrying about him moving back home until he "decides" what he wants to do.

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

My skid would eat only beef broth and noodles. That's it. Nothing else during dinner.

My wife eventually caved in and told her kid that if she wanted to eat only that, she wasn't allowed at the dinner table while we eat the dinner that I cook.

It became therapuedic for me really. My wife moved closer to me at the table, and we fed the baby DD, and ate together, while the skid was in another room watching TV eating nasty noodles.

Siemprematahari's picture

He might as well feed her the waffles and get her a sippy cup while he's at it....

Goodness the disservice this man is creating is unreal! I couldn't be around that bullsh!t.

Siemprematahari's picture

ThisIsNotUs~ If it hasn't happened already I am curious to know are you still attracted to your H when he pulls this nonsense? Like this would be such a turn off that the thought of being with him physically would make me sick. I can't imagine still desiring this man after all this.

 

MissTexas's picture

her own breakfast etc. it would fall on deaf ears. It is a husband problem, not a daughter problem. He sounds like the other men who suffer from divorced daddy guilt, and want to spend the rest of their lives making it up to their kids, not matter what is involved.

 

Rags's picture

Absolutely you should drag this toxic spawn to the toaster and give her a lesson in toasting frozen waffles.

In fact, I would give DH clarity that his waiting hand and foot on his tweens stops immediately.

This non-man is pathetic.