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Why are men so stupid????

ferretmom's picture

Today at therapy H says he doesn't know if he'll be able to tolerate my menopause. According to him it should last about 20 to 30 yrs and I'll become some kind of crazy woman. :jawdrop: I have tried to get him to read up on it. There are some great web sites that have helped me a lot. At first I tried to get him to go with me to my gyn but that's too disgusting. Apparently my menopause is the cause of a lot of sd's behavior. I thought I was supposed to be the crazy one right now?? I get so sick and tired of the same crap all the time. If I sneeze he rushes her to the doctor. Maybe I'm being petty but when I'm sick I want my needs taken care of not whatever make believe ailment she has. Here's a good example: a few years ago I came down with shingles. If you haven't gotten the vaccine yet do it now!! I have never been in so much pain that didn't involve a broken bone. Most people get it on their back, I got it on my face and in my right eye. Anyway I had an appointment with an ophthalmologist ( that's a mouthful) because the dr was afraid the virus would permanently damage my eye. The day of my appointment sd calls from school crying her eye hurt. The school nurse looked at it and couldn't find anything. So what does H do? Rushes to the school and takes her to the er, all that was wrong was an eyelash. Meantime back at the ranch I'm sitting waiting on H to get home. When he does 6hrs past my appointment he tells me she was so upset he had to take her to get something to eat and do a little shopping. It was 2 mths later before I could get to see the eye doctor and by then the damage had been done. At my last appointment 2wks ago I was told I've lost 90% of my vision in my right eye and I've had to give up my driver's license. When the dr tells H this all he can say is does this mean sd will need glasses. :? WTF Is this always going to be a competition? I swear if I got Ebola she'd have something worse just to get his attention and he goes along with it. If I say anything at all to him about it he comes back with "you don't like sd and you're being mean to her." Does it ever end??? Sad

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Wow. I know my H is bad, but this is off the wall. Let me get this right. You have an eye infection. You have an appointment with the Dr., So he takes SD to the ER, then shopping, thereby causing you to miss your appointment and now you're losing your vision?

And menopause lasts 20 to 30 years? What in the world does your therapist say?

Once again, the dynamics between your husband & Sd, the things he says and does-are nothing short of shocking! :shocked:

Again, What in the world does the therapist say??? Surley he/she is condemning this behaviour!

Girl, I'm definately praying for you!

ferretmom's picture

Our therapist wanted to know where he came up with his facts. H says "I just know", I guess he pulled it out of his butt like every other fact he has. There was a lot of discussion about dependency and co-dependency as well as enabling her behavior. After the session was over H says they aren't going back. Whatever Sad . I'm keeping my sessions though, if I don't I'm afraid I may lose it. I really believe that he won't accept how wrong her behavior is until it's on one of those girl gone wild videos. Yes I'm expecting that any day now, or an unwanted pregnancy. When it happens I'm going to laugh my ass off. }:) He's not the only one in his family to think she walks on water. They all have a nice pity parade for her when she wants something. I swear it makes me sick to watch it. I brought up the fact that she lost me a great job in our session. Her excuse was she didn't want me to make more money that H. I just don't get it. I admit I was a Daddy's girl but my father taught me to be responsible and respectful of other people. If I just wanted something I had to earn the money to get it myself. That's how I raised my sons. But according to H I did a rotten job he thinks they're wusses. For example my oldest has 3 kids under the age of 3 and it doesn't bother him at all to change diapers or give them their bathes. :O How horrible!! Then there's my youngest, he took karate for years. When he was 16 he was told he would have to spar with a girl to get his next level belt. He refused. He told his instructor that he would NEVER hit a girl even if it meant he had to leave the class. The man respected his decision and sparred with him himself. If that means my sons are wusses then I thank God the are. I look forward to the day when his perfect little princess gets knocked off her pedestal. But I'm not going to clean up the mess. I'm sooo over that, he can deal with it.

now4teens's picture

"I brought up the fact that she lost me a great job in our session. Her excuse was she didn't want me to make more money that H."
Ferretmom, how could you just let that little fact just slip past????

You have to update people on your other post ("Gross"). I cannot believe she did this ON PURPOSE because she didn't want you to make more money than her daddy????

She lost you a good job in THIS ECONOMY? That is beyond evil. And I NEVER say this to parents, because I know it's always easier said than done, but in this case, I'd definitely tell her to PACK HER BAGS and GET OUT!!!!

How dare she threaten your livelihood? I'd definitely take a stand on this one. Not to mention the other creepy stuff you mentioned in this post. Daddy has to cut the apron strings. How old is this little brat?

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

Rags's picture

Please. I have zero tolerance for idiots whether spouses, kids, or anyone else for that matter.

I am all for working to improve marriages and family relationships but when something is this out of whack I am not sure it is salvageable.

Your DH is down right wrong in the head. And I am a man. Don'T get me wrong, I do stupid shit myself upon occasion but I try to stay in contact with reasonableness most of the time.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck and best regards,

groovetheory's picture

I don't even know what do say. Your H is nuts, and letting his D run the both of your lives. Like crayon said, it's really gone too far. If therapy isn't working, at least you can say you tried. I don't like to tell people that its time to head south for the winter but...

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

I'm interested to know if your DH actually sees what he is doing. Did he actually ask you how you went at your appointment? did he call you while he was shopping with SD to see how you are? Did he tell SD off when it was only an eyelash in her eye?
He really needs to take a long hard look at himself and see what is really important to him cause it certainly doesn't seem like you are even on his radar.

*Hugs for you hun* Men will always be stupid!

ferretmom's picture

He sees what he wants to see, which isn't much. I know he's an insensitive jerk and always will be. I believe it would take a miracle for him to change. Even then I have my doubts. You would think that when a man swears he loves you more than life itself that he would act like it now and then. But at least I know not all men are like that. Maybe I'm biased but I think my sons are better than most men I've known. This morning we web camed so we could talk with each other and my oldest was concerned about his family having a nice Christmas. He asked me to pick out presents for his wife and kids. I have bank accounts for both my sons, of course H thinks that's stupid. But this way I can buy gifts for my son's family and send them to them from him. Does that make any sense?? :? Anyway they could tell something was wrong but I can't tell them about it, not with them being in Iraq. They asked to speak to H privately so I let them. When I got back on with them they said that they had told him that if he made me cry he would have to answer to them when they get home. If nothing else I know my sons love me and that's everything to me.