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What do you do when everyone assumes you can be the babysitter

Empress1277's picture

I work in home care. My days consist of going and seeing patients throughout the day in their homes and then returning to my home to chart. While I am home charting I am on the phone with patients, drs offices, different home agencies. I’m not sitting at home playing Candy Crush. So because I work from home SD 11 feels that she should be able to get off the bus after school and not go to the after school babysitter that SO and BM pay for. I have put my foot down in the past and have said no to this however I keep getting asked if she can come home after school because she doesn’t like the prearranged babysitter. I had tried this a few times, but she is loud when I am working and on the phone and frankly I can’t guarantee that I can be home all the time as visits can happen at all hours before 430. Well today BM text SO and tells him that SD will be getting out of school at 330 tomorrow due to jazz band practice and proceeds to tell him SD will be riding the bus to our home as it is our day. SO doesn’t get out of work until 5. So basically BM just assumes I will babysit. I’m freaking livid. No one even asked me or asked what my schedule is for tomorrow. I have numerous visits scheduled for tomorrow and can not guarantee that I can be home in time to get her off the bus. I have already decided that I will not be home until after 430 to make my point, I’ll find a coffee shop to work from. I’m getting sick of this crap. I don’t know how else to get it through everyone’s heads that I’m working. I’m fearful that it will be continuously be asked throughout the summer as well. What else can I say? I chewed SO a new one for the BMs assumptions that I can just handle the babysitting tomorrow. Anyone else been through this?

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Sure! I’ll be happy to rearrange my schedule, here’s my hourly rate. Also, by the way, I watched SD on these dates for this many hours so this is the back pay I am owed before I can take her again.

Empress1277's picture

I like this suggestion! 

 

I dont understand why I need to say NO more than once. 

SteppedOut's picture

They -bm and your bf keep asking over and over to try to "wear you down" into accepting it. Nice they are "working as a team" to get "their" way. 

Point that out to your bf. Make it PERFECTLY CLEAR he needs to get off bm's team and on yours instead. 

tog redux's picture

You are doing HIPAA protected work. She can't be there while you are on the phone talking about patients, period.

 

 

sunshinex's picture

You are 100% on point with going to a coffee shop and not being home. Make your point. If you have requested they find other care already, then you are NOT obligated to be there without being asked in advance. The parents will look pretty crappy if their daughter gets off the bus and no one is there to get her. 

When DH and I were dating and I was disengaged, he had a babysitter that didn't cover all of his work hours so he usually expected me to pick her up and watch her until he was done work. I told him multiple times it didn't work for me and he'd have to arrange something else/find a different job with better hours. He didn't. 

So one day, I went out after she went to the babysitter and didn't answer anyone's calls all night. I guess the babysitter dropped SD off at his work at like 9pm (he wasn't done until 12pm at night) and he had to leave. He was embarressed and his boss was pissed. Not my problem. 

flmomma08's picture

I work from home part of the time too and people just don't get it. I've been asked to watch other people's kids (not even just my SD), give people rides places, let dogs out, etc. They don't get that we are WORKING, the same as we would be doing if we were in the office/field/wherever. It's irritating for sure.

When SD was living with us, everyone wanted her to get off the bus here and not go to after care. Bus comes at 4 and I don't get done working until 5. I was the only one who saw the problem with this arrangement.

You shouldn't have to say no more than once but I know from experience they just don't get it. Stand your ground! You are WORKING and cannot watch SD, same as them.

Cover1W's picture

I work from home once a week.  Sometimes that day is when YSD gets home early.  DH may or may not be there (YSD is old enough to be on her own and is pretty good overall).  BUT I always have to remind her I am WORKING and have to make sure I am in a separate space anyway, because she'll just start talking to me.  So I get it.  Working = no child care.

Winterglow's picture

I work from home. I have two daughters who go to 2 different schools, have different time tables, have different appointments (speech therapy, etc.), we live out in the country and DH worked 30 miles away. He couldn't understand why I complained that I couldn't get any work done. So now he's retired.  He's taken over the "taxi service" for the girls and does all of the laundry and a some of the other household chores, and now whines that he never has time to do what "he wants". Sigh. And I'm still doing the shopping and cooking ... He hasn't a clue.