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Very annoyed, very frustrated,and feeling very guilty about it.

Mesha's picture

Too make a long story short....I am very annoyed with my sd. almost to the point where I dont want to be around her (she lives in our home).She was raised by mom up until she was about 9, and believes she can argue with adults. My sd is 12, but acts like she is 7 at times. I am becoming that mean step mom. I have no paitience with her. She is very clingy and needs lots of motherly attention b/c her mother is not stable and is always in and out of her life. I feel bad b/c the last 2 months I just dont have that to give to her...Im too annoyed. Her and I always have gotten along, never any real problems. Her teacher this yr (2 women teachers in particular) have express the same thing to me about her: that she if very needy, and when she isnt getting enough attenion or immediate attention she argues and acts out. When her mother does come into the picture I notice she regresses in her behavior. We recently welcomed a new baby into our home about 6 months ago, could that be why she is regressing? What is goin on? Is it normal to feel this way about a 12 yr olf child? I dont want to be this person to her! If you need more of our situation/background please read my bio., it has "our" story. I could really use some good advice, please help!

annmarie's picture

Mesha, you really need to seek the help of a professional counselor. Don't wait. This is not going to fix itself...nor is it not going to get worse. Many companies have counseling referral services available or your medical insurance provider could provide you with the necessary referral. If there is no insurance, there are other means to obtain this service. Family counseling is crucial in this child's life because of the changes that she has had to incur over the years with a mother that decides to drop in and out of her life as she sees fit. That must stop. Children need structure and discipline and a mother that is bad mouthing the only stable woman in this child's life is obviously jealous! Not only for the sake of this child, but also because what you are going through. You mention that you don't like how you are feeling. Remember, if you do decide to take my advice, and you don't connect with the out another one. We do this in other areas of our life...and counseling is no different. Must be willing to go with an open mind. Good luck!